Seasons of Change [12/16/2013]

Thinking back to my past used to be painful and embarrassing for me. I was a very different person before I met Christ and as I look back, I'm amazed at how much God has changed me. I'm amazed only because it's something I never could have accomplished on my own, no matter how hard I tried.

Thinking back to my past now isn't as painful for me (although I still shudder at the thought at times) because I can now see a certain joy and blessing through my past and my present - a joy that is only visible because of the works of my creator and saviour.

I really enjoy 2 Corinthians 5:17:
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is made a new creation: The old is gone, the new has come!"

God promises us that after we accept Christ into our life and earn salvation, it is not the end of the road. Instead, he begins to lead us through the process of sanctification - to become more like him every day we live on this earth. I was reading an article and it said that hagiasmos means sanctification in Greek, and it is the same as hagios, which is the Greek word for holy. Therefore, to be sanctified means to be made more holy!

Brothers and sisters, we are all going through this process of sanctification. God is working in all of our hearts so that we may become more like Him! As we continue to pursue Christ, we become more and more like Christ, but this doesn't come without a few aches and pains.

Last night, I was reading "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis, and I came across this wonderful parable (that he got from George MacDonald) of how it is when God is working in him to become more like Christ.

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

When God works in us, it is not always easy and very often it is painful, but He is building us to become something greater and much more beautiful - He is changing us into the masterpiece he intended for us to be. So I want to encourage you to hold on tightly to the Lord through the aches and the pains you feel as he is working on you. It isn't always easy and it may feel like you have been abandoned, or life is really difficult to handle, but trust in the Lord because he is always working on you. He never stops.

On that note, don't forget to trust in the Lord when you fall and stumble. Our God is a forgiving, merciful and loving God. When you make mistakes - which you most likely will - God is waiting there right beside you to help you back up. As I write this I think of King David, a man who was always after God's own heart, but who made mistakes on several different occasions. It is David's softened heart towards the Lord that really speaks to me. When he is rebuked by Nathan (2 Samuel 12:7) his immediate response is to repent for his sins and then he humbly accepts the discipline of the Lord (2 Samuel 12:20).

I desire for my heart to be as soft towards the Lord just like King David. I desire to have a heart that is soft enough for God to mould with ease so that daily, I become more and more like Him.

I trust that we are always changing for God is always working, and as a body, we really need to work together in encouraging one another. If people hadn't accepted that I was changing, it would have been much more difficult for me to change. I was a certain way for a very long time, and if people hadn't let go of that idea of me, I would have been so discouraged. In the same way, there are people in our lives that we have known for such a long time and because we believe we know them so well, we have a difficult time realizing they are changing and being made new. But we must open our eyes and see how God is working! And encourage our brothers and sisters by taking note of how God is changing them!

It isn't always easy, but I believe we can do this! We can support one another and encourage one another to become more like Christ! So let's continue to walk down this path together. Let's encourage each other to hold on tightly to our Saviour, let's help each other up when we stumble, and let's grow together as one body!

With love,

kjoosaurus.

Where is the center of your life? [06/16/13]

Dear friends,

I hope you have all been well! And happy Father's day to all the wonderful fathers out there! I'm a little sad to be separated from my own father on this special day, but thank the Lord for technology! I could talk to him on the phone all day if I wanted! (More like if he wanted... which he doesn't.) But that is okay! I hope you all have an amazing day today filled with very special time with your families :)

Today, I would like to share with you a couple of verses that have been speaking to me in the past couple of days. You see, I'm preparing to go to Haiti in August and as we train together as a team, we are supposed to memorize a whole pile of bible verses, which is an excellent idea, but I have a very unfortunate memory. I've memorized next to nothing and no matter how hard I try, it just won't stick! But they've still been speaking to me. :)

Romans 12:1
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your act of spiritual worship."

Galatians 2:20
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

The life I had previously lived had been a Kristen-centered life. What was the purpose of my life? Earn money, buy a car, buy a house, buy clothes, buy food, be popular, be funny, be "loved," be famous, be fit... and the list goes on and on. These are the only things I wanted in life and I worked hard for them. I earned a lot of money in high school and I was able to buy many different objects, but I got bored of every single one of them. I also had many friends in high school, but I was never satisfied. I wanted more. I wanted them to love me the MOST. I wanted to be everybody's best friend.

I was, and still am, very sinful. My heart was so full of sin and pride... But at the time, I didn't realize the extent of it. Even now, I am still realizing every day exactly how sinful I really am, and it makes me all the more thankful for the mercy God poured out onto us. Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever realized how merciful our God truly is?

In Romans, Paul is urging us, but not telling us, to offer our bodies as living sacrifices to God. He is exhorting us to offer our lives to God. I was reading a commentary on this verse and it was explaining how the greek word for spiritual is logikos. But derived from logikos is also the English word logical - which is normally associated with the mind. The definition is a little confusing, but it makes sense when you put it into context. When it says "this is your spiritual act of worship," it makes sense for the word logikos to be inserted there. For it should be logical that since God has shown us mercy, we would offer our bodies as living sacrifices to him! He has freed us from our old masters... So now that we are free, why would we continue to serve our old masters?

Just as Galatians says, we have been given this new life to live where Christ lives in us! We are now in union with Christ - both actively and passively. Further on in Galatians (5:13-6:10), it speaks of both walking in the Spirit and being led by the Spirit. It is not only one or only the other, but it is both. Christ now lives in us, but we now also live by faith in the Son of God!

Amen to that! We have been freed from our old masters and are now able to serve our merciful God with our lives. We are able to walk in the Spirit and be led by the Spirit! I am truly so grateful that God has allowed my eyes to be opened to his great works. Every single time I heard the truth of how a God sent his one and only son to die on a cross for an undeserving human... I feel nothing but overwhelming thankfulness in my heart and the desire to give everything I am to my creator. How blessed are we, dear friends, to be able to serve such a wonderful God. I don't want to sit around and live for myself anymore!

Brothers and sisters, may we learn to love like our creator! May we learn to die to ourselves every single day and live for God! May we learn to love one another selflessly!

Much love. :)

-kjoosaurus out!

Always and Forever [5/24/13]

Hello hello hello!

So lately, I have been falling deeper and deeper in love with my beautiful saviour and wonderful creator. It's so nice to be able to spend time with him daily, rejoicing and thanking him for how he has blessed me! When I was still in Sunday School, I can remember thinking "how is it possible that people talk about God all the time? Aren't we going to run out of things to talk about? We talk about him every week... I DON'T UNDERSTAND."

What a silly little girl I was! As I dive into the word, I'm not only discovering more about God, but also discovering how little I know about God. It's a chain reaction. When one question is answered, two more pop up! As I've been seeking him more, one of God's many characteristics has been sticking out to me and challenging me in new ways.

Psalm 16:8
I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Matthew 28:20
...And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Deuteronomy 31:8
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

These verses are only the tiniest examples of God's persistence and consistence in our lives! I'm sure all of you have experienced similar ups and downs in your faith and lives to my own. We have our good days and our bad days, we have our struggles and our joys, our trials and tribulations. But we have a God who always remains the same! There's no such thing as a bad day for him. He doesn't go through the same roller coaster rides that we go through - he is constant in our lives and persistently showing us his beauty and love no matter how hard we try to push it away.

This brings me great comfort knowing how reliable, dependable and consistent our father is! When everything in this world falls away, we will still have our father - he does not change like shifting shadows (James 1:17)

When I see verses that say "surely I am with you always" and "he will never leave you or forsake you" it reminds me of multiple choice questions on exam. Before you get super confused, question how God reminds me of a multiple choice question and then call me crazy, hear me out.

In the beginning of first year, I went to the Academic Success Center to get some advice because I was absolutely terrible at multiple choice questions (I mean seriously, who tells you to pick the better answer of two right answers?!) Anyways, one piece of advice they gave me was to try avoiding answers that contain the words "always" or "never" because nothing is consistent enough to be always or never.

What great advice! It's so very true! Things in this world will not go on forever and ever. Things on this earth are simply temporary and will one day cease to exist, but God is the one constant in all of our lives! Always loving and guiding us as we journey through this world. This love and persistence he has shown us has brought up a desire in my heart to be just like him in this way! Persistently loving my fellow brothers and sisters in all situations and at all times! I know there will always be people in this world we struggle with - people who manage to push all the right buttons at all the right times. I have people in my life who seem to just cause so much trouble for themselves and then complain about it endlessly - asking me for love and attention that I eventually become reluctant to give. It's easy to stop paying attention to these people and spending the time we used to because we don't want to hear about how they made the exact same mistake as the last ten mistakes.

Yet this is one of the many ways our father loves us. We are constantly making the exact same mistakes over and over again! We try to learn from our mistakes but we so often end up making the same ones. But thankfully, God is persistent and patient with us. He loves us and is there for us despite the situation and I hope to love my fellow brothers and sisters just as he loves me. How eternally grateful I am to my saviour! I am grateful for him loving me despite all of my silly mistakes and mountains of complaints! I hope to imitate my wonderful maker and learn to love even those who push those buttons! Join me in this journey of learning to love as God first loved us :)

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
- Ephesians 5:1

- kjoosaurus out! 

The Lord is my shepherd [05/22/13]

Hello to my wonderful friends :)

I've received many encouraging words about this blog, and I want to thank you for the kind words you've spoken! I've found that I'm rather unskilled at expressing my gratitude to people, but in reality, I am actually extremely grateful! I really do thank God for using you to encourage and challenge me. I'm better at expressing myself through writing so FEEL MY LOVE AND THANKS! :D

I love the way God works. He is so detail-oriented, meticulous, mysterious and exciting! The way he plans things in his perfect timing is amazing and mind-blowing every time he reveals part of his plan to me.

Yesterday, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed... The very wrong side. You know those mornings when you just feel groggy and disoriented? That was my Tuesday morning. When I wake up like that, I dread the day ahead because I'm grumpy and lazy and sensitive and just a bunch of not so very good things. So there went wrong side of the bed Kristen, walking very slowly to meet her friend at Starbucks and secretly, but not so secretly, wishing she could stay in bed forever.

As I waited, I said to God, "Please give me the energy to get through the day. Please give me the motivation to stay out and not cancel all of my plans and go home to my really warm and cozy bed."

You know what's cool? When you can SEE God answering your prayers! God is very true to his words.

1 John 5:14
And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.

Once I met up with my friend, we started talking about our faith. She's a brand new Christian friend I met in my Spanish class. She told me her testimony, about her life in Rwanda, about her many struggles with her family, about betrayals from the past and she just listed so many things she had gone through that I could never even imagine going through. Then, as she began to tell me about how Christ had saved her, I saw such pure and genuine love for God in her expressions and I could hear the thankfulness in her voice. I was so encouraged by her! Her ability to remain optimistic and hopeful in Christ when everybody else had hurt her and deserted her.

My day didn't end there either! Later on, I was walking along Mackenzie King bridge, and I made eye contact with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I have seen. I've seen many beautiful blue eyes, but this pair was especially captivating. These eyes belonged to a homeless man sitting on the side, asking for spare change. Normally, I just say "sorry, I don't have any change" (which I don't) and then proceed with my day, but I just had to stop and talk to him. He told me about his day, about the "newbie" panhandlers, about how this was his spot and how he had to kick people out of his spot sometimes. It was a simple conversation, but he was just filled with so much joy and happiness! I had to run to catch my bus, but as I was leaving, he gave me an excellent handshake accompanied with an enormous smile and said, "My name is Frankie. It was really nice to meet you."

God really provides us with everything we need. Sometimes, I laugh at myself because I worry about the silliest things like having to deal with people in my disoriented state of mind. I laugh because I know I have an all-powerful God who is constantly providing for me and loving me, yet I still worry.

In John 14:27, Jesus says:
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

What Jesus has to offer us is beyond anything the world tries to offer us. Thanks to Jesus, we can live every single day with joy and peace in our hearts. What the world hands us is temporary and short-lived, but what Christ has offered to us is beyond all else and I'm grateful for this truth in my life! I'm grateful for the way God leads me to people who will encourage me and brighten up my day - constantly showing me his goodness and captivating love.

This is not at all what I was planning on writing about, but that's okay because I was still able to share God's goodness in my life! :)

I want to end this post with Psalm 23.

This was my grandmother's favourite Psalm. It has always meant a lot to me, but as I saw her rejoice in the truth of these words in her passing days, it has found an extra special place in my heart. I'm working on memorizing it and I encourage you to join me! It will probably take me a while since my memory isn't my forte, so don't worry if your memory is bad too! :)

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. 

He makes me lie down in green 

pastures.

He leads me beside still waters. 

He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley

of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, 

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff, 

they comfort me. 

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies; 

you anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows. 

Surely goodness and mercy shall

follow me

all the days of my life

and I shall dwell in the house of the 

Lord 

forever." 

We are family! [05/19/13]

Hi there!

God is great! Amen? AMEN.

In recent days, God's glory has been revealing itself more and more in my life. The more I search for him, desire him, and seek him, the more I find him in all of the different areas of my life. What I'm about to say is a little bit cheesy, but I don't care so I'm going to say it anyways. :)

Lately, God has been showing me to appreciate the tiniest of things. He's been opening my eyes to the beauty of his creations as I walk around the city I live in. He's been showing me the simple beauty of the flowers, the way the clouds drift across the blue sky, the way the rain feels as it hits my skin. The fact that I can MOVE. That I have two legs to walk on. Two hands. Yeah, it's kind of cheesy, but I'm so grateful to be able to appreciate every bit of what my heavenly father has created for me to enjoy. I take many things in life for granted and rarely spend time to just stop and thank God for the breath I am breathing.

Why am I sharing this simple detail of my life with you? I'm sharing it because I have recently come to realize a desire that has been stirring in my heart. A desire to share the blessings from God with my brothers and sisters in Christ! Of course, I already do share a bit of my life with certain people, but God is doing so much more in my life than I share with others.

The bible talks a lot about sharing with others and encouraging one another.

1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Hebrews 10:24-25
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

I believe that through our daily testimonies, we are called to encourage one another and build each other up! God is constantly moving in our lives and wouldn't it be wonderful if we were constantly sharing his workings with each other? When we go to hang out with our friends, it's always a good time. We laugh, we talk about funny things, we tell stories and talk about current events, but I also think it would be wonderful to spend more time talking about our creator and how he is moving in our lives!

I was talking to a beloved friend the other day, and she said, "I don't think my testimony is one that is very encouraging."

The more I thought about it, the more I wondered about people who think their testimony isn't spectacular. Maybe it isn't the kind of testimony where the dead come back to life, and all the sick are healed, but it's still God moving, shaping and leading a person into a beautiful relationship with Christ! It's still a person coming to believe that Christ is their Lord and saviour - king of all kings. And that, is what I think is wonderful about every testimony.

I know there are people who think they don't have too much to say, and what Christ is doing in their life isn't really worth sharing about all the time, but I have to disagree with this way of thinking. I want to encourage more people to share with one another. I realized this is why God brought me to start writing this blog! (Yes, it took me over a year to discover the true purpose - I'm a little slower than average.) There are days when I would write, and I thought I was writing about silly things that nobody cared about but every word reflected on the different effects God has had in my daily life and although they may be small and simple, they are worth sharing with the world because everything God does is part of a greater purpose.

In today's sermon, PG talked about how we should be open about the love we have for our saviour! Why do we allow ourselves to be ashamed or quiet about our love? Shouldn't we be intentional in the ways we express our love for Christ? When I really love a person, I really can't stop talking about them. I can go on and on and on about a person that I really love, because I feel so close and comfortable with them. This should transfer to my relationship with Christ! And it's what I now aim to do! He is always up to something! God doesn't just sit there and twiddle his thumbs around waiting for something to happen. He is working and moving and watching us! In every moment! So yes, maybe there are days when it feels like not much has happened, but the more we look, the more we will find!

So, let's share with one another! Share with your brothers and sisters. When you find joy in a situation, tell somebody! It's wonderful to share our burdens, but let's also share our joy and rejoice in the joyful moments we all experience! Let us build each other up and encourage each other on a daily basis :)

Anyways, that is all for today! I hope to share my daily joys and struggles with you!

-kjoosaurus out! 

Fruit of the Spirit [2/2/13]

Hello~

Finally, a week of madness is over! No more exams and tests... Until next week! haha. I finally have the chance to share a little bit with you all again :)

This morning as I was doing QT, I read Galatians 5:22-26.

It says:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." 

As I was reading this, I realized how important the fruit of Spirit must be because God specifically listed out each characteristic that qualifies as the fruit of the Spirit. It's also important to realize that the fruit is coming from the Holy Spirit and not from our own selves. Although we don't give ourselves these qualities, we still have to allow the Holy Spirit to work through and in us. God is so willing to change and mould us, but he can't do this if we are unwilling to be changed.

In John 15:5 Jesus says:

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." 

Just as the branches draw life from the vine, we as well draw our lives from Jesus. If the branch is separate from the vine, it can do nothing just as if we are separate from Jesus, we can do nothing.

I'm always amazed at how we always try to work and grow and live on our own when we're always reminded of how little we are able to do without Jesus! I'm sure we all know that we, on our own, have no strength, but we often forget to ask God for his guidance and his strength. 

I know that I personally rely on my own strength and knowledge to get through things... If I realize I can't do it on my own, I turn to other people, but why is it that I so often turn to God last? He has taught me this lesson over and over and over again, yet I am always making the same mistake! But God is so patient, loving and merciful... Even when we make the same mistakes over and over again, he so patiently teaches us the same lesson until we finally have it imprinted in our minds!

I pray that we will allow the Holy Spirit to work in us! I pray that we will let go of everything we don't need and allow God to be our everything as he is all we truly need.

Jesus, we thank you for your goodness, your glory, your patience and mercy.

Thanks for reading~

-kjoosaurus out!

Faithful to the End [01/22/13]

Hello everybody!

Wow, I can't believe it's almost the end of January and this is only my first post of 2013! The past two months have been incredibly busy but God has definitely been working in my life and in the lives of others around me. He has revealed so much to me and I wanted to share a bit of what has been revealed to me with all of you~

What are some things people of this world highly value? Money? Love? Objects? Food? Those answers are definitely all correct! Personally, I believe one of the things we value the most is comfort. In general, people want to live comfortably. They want to have a stable job that provides them with a stable income which provides them with gadgets, plenty of food, a comfortable home and room for even more spending. In fact, the goals many people set for themselves are often made to lead to a comfortable life! Get into the good school so that I can get that good job that has good pay.

People also seek comfort in other aspects of their lives such as the emotional part of their life. We don't want to live a life where we are constantly stressed out. We don't want to live a life where we are being persecuted, ridiculed and hated. We want to be loved, adored and admired. But is this what being a Christian is about? Is this what we should be seeking and pursuing?

In 2 Corinthians 11 and 12, Paul talks about the sufferings he has gone through. He mentions how he was constantly abused, how he was often hungry and often in danger. He then says at one point, when Satan had put a thorn in his flesh, he pleaded three times with God to take it away from him, but God said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (Chap. 12:9) In this verse, Paul is talking about how God is glorified through our own weaknesses and sufferings. He is able to reveal himself to others through our own struggles. Reading this verse made me wonder... When I'm struggling and when I'm weak, will I be glorifying God?

I want to share about a couple of martyrs I learned about recently. Their names are Perpetua and Felicity and their story takes place in Carthage. These two girls became Christians in a time when it was dangerous to become a Christian as Christians were being persecuted. It was more common to see the lower class (slaves) becoming Christians, but it was extremely rare to see anybody who was noble to become a Christian. Perpetua was one of those rare cases. Perpetua had everything she needed to live comfortably. Her father provided her with everything she needed, she was married and pregnant! But through Felicity, her slave, Perpetua became a Christian.

The story of Perpetua and Felicity is complex, but what happens in the end is that the two of them were killed in front of thousands of people. They were killed because they were Christians, but right until the end, they were faithful to God and glorified him even through their sufferings. They gave absolutely everything up to him and they were completely faithful to him from the beginning to the end.

When I learned about their story, I began to question my own faith. Am I faithful enough to God that I would give up everything I have just to glorify him? Do I have so much joy in glorifying him that I would go through a great deal of pain and suffering just for him to be glorified? The answers to those questions were no, but to be a faithful servant to God is what I desire. I want to live a life that glorifies him. I want to persist through my sufferings with joy just by knowing how my weakness is glorifying God! Instead of complaining to God about my struggles, I want to rejoice!

Wouldn't it be great to be as faithful as Paul, Perpetua and Felicity? I'll be praying that every one of us becomes as faithful as they are!

Thanks for reading~~

- kjoosaurus out! 

Hungry for Him [9/26/2012]

Hello all~

Wow, it sure has been a while since I've last written anything! And this is the first time I've written something at 6 in the morning! Holy moly, I hope what I say makes sense. I just had my first meal after fasting, and although it feels sooo good to be full, from kalbi, kimchi jigae, bap and japchae hehe, it feels even better to know that God revealed something amazing to me. Well, he revealed more than one thing to me.

Fasting... It's tough! I've never fasted for such a long time. Last night, I was so HUNGRY and so EXCITED about my next meal that I didn't fall asleep until 2 or 3 in the morning, and then of course because I was still hungry, I woke up at 5:30 in the morning. I was salivating like crazy when I woke up. But, as I was eating, I realized I was still hungry. I had eaten all of that food, but there was something more I wanted, something I craved! So, naturally, I brought out my beautiful bible :)

I felt like I needed to read the book of John. There was this little internal argument going on in my head hehe. One part of me was saying, "You've already read this! You don't need to read it again. This would be your third time!" While another part of me was saying, "REAAAAD ITTTTT NOWWW."

So, I read it.

The part I opened to was John 4:34-38.

³⁴ “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. ³⁵ Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. ³⁶ Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. ³⁷ Thus the saying ‘One sows and another reaps’ is true. ³⁸ I sent you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.”

What was I truly hungry for? I was hungry to do the will of God. I was hungry for more of Him, and God showed me and reminded me that the hunger I have for food was nothing in comparison to the hunger I have for his will. I will never be satisfied by the food I eat; I will always crave more and more and more and in the end, I will never be full. But the Lord is faithful, and when I am hungry for him, and when I search for him, he will fill my cup until it is overflowing. 

Not only was I reminded of how much I need Him, but I was also reminded of his great love for me - for us! 

Last night, as I was so hungry and so tired (yet not sleeping), I was put in a position that I would never wish to be in. It was a sense of betrayal from somebody I had cared so much about, and I was angry. Super, super angry. I went on a rampage, and became a destructive ball of anger. I called out to God, and I asked Him to help me! I felt so lost, and alone.. Betrayed and abandoned. Normally, when I pray and ask God to help me, there is nothing but silence. This time, things were different. I was reminded of how God cares so much for us, and how he doesn't want us to hurt! Yes, he does discipline us, but the pain and the challenge won't last forever. 

Psalm 18:16-19

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁶ He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
    he drew me out of deep waters.
¹⁷ He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
    from my foes, who were too strong for me.
¹⁸ They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
    but the Lord was my support.
¹⁹ He brought me out into a spacious place;
    he rescued me because he delighted in me.

I love this passage... It shows the true power and strength of our Lord, Jesus Christ. He is the Almighty God, and our faithful father! Last night, in a time of hardship, he provided me with more than what I needed. He surrounded me with love, and he reminded me of how he loves us. He helped me forgive somebody who had hurt me in the past, and it is a beautiful feeling! Forgiveness is amazing. I'm not sure about you, but I find it so difficult. Just thinking about the people who have hurt me, and the way they have hurt me, I never want to forgive them, but as we pray and pray, the Lord blesses us with a forgiving heart, does he not? Of course, I haven't forgiven everybody yet, but the day is coming :) He is still by my side, he is still loving me, and he is still surrounding me. 

Psalms 18 really encourages and reminds me of how great, loving and powerful he is! I hope it encourages you as well. May we always remember the grace he has shown us, and the power of his love for us! For we would be empty, broken, and lost if we did not have Him.

We love you, Lord!

- kjoosaurus out! 

Missions [6/2/12]

Hello!

I hope you have all been well :) I know I haven't posted in too long... I apologize for this. These past few days were full of confusion and extremely busy for me. I recently committed to go to Turkey for missions this summer. It isn't set in stone yet, but I am beginning to train for missions, and a lot has happened in the past little while!

Today, I just wanted to share a bit about the thought process throughout days until today. It all began in Ottawa. A sister of mine was part of an organization called intercp. She is very involved with this organization and she had already gone on missions before; she told us stories of her trip to Iraq, and it made me become more and more curious about missions. She encouraged me to check out intercp when I got back to Vancouver, and she graciously put me in contact with some of the people who were involved!

When I arrived back in Vancouver, I was in contact with some of the leaders of intercp, but only through the phone. It wasn't until last Tuesday when I finally met for coffee with the em leader. It was then when I committed to go to Turkey for missions. I told him, "I will go to Turkey this summer, and I will make sure there is Vision School when I get back to Ottawa."

Wow. Those were big words coming from little old me. I'm not the kind of person who stops out of her comfort zone very much. I like to be in my cozy little bubble, and I have never stepped too far out of it. As soon as I realized what I had committed to, I became very, very scared. I didn't want to do it. There was too much at stake for me. I had so many obstacles to overcome, and I didn't want to put the effort into overcoming them. So, I started to hide from God. I began to go out with my friends a lot, I stopped writing this blog very regularly, and I immersed myself in worldly things. This last week, I rarely prayed, and I only read the bible on several occasions.

All of a sudden, I had gone from a girl who was doing nothing but looking for a job this summer, to a girl who was going to do God's work! Eep! What a change! But it made me begin to think... Is this why God wanted me to come home this summer? Did he want to give me this opportunity? Does he want me to do this? Well, this scared me even more. If God wants me to do something, and I tell him I'm going to do it, then that means I'm doing it. My friends were so excited for me! They were really hyping it up, but that scared me more and more. I didn't want to commit; I wanted to back out! But it wasn't until today, that I finally feel at peace.

You see, I forgot about why I wanted to do missions in the first place!

John 15:12-13

This is my commandment:
Love each other in the same way I have loved you.

There is no greater love than to lay down one's life

for one's friends.

God calls us to love others the way he loves us. To go to the unreached nations to tell them of God's love and bringing light to their darkness... That is showing them how we love them! It doesn't matter if they reject the words we speak; it doesn't matter if they hate us. We must love them; we must want for them to experience the glory and mercy of God! God feels so much sorrow to see them sin; he loves them deeply. He wants us to go out, and tell them how he loves them! He wants us to go out and tell them there is a way! He wants to use us to lead them to the path of righteousness! 

This is why I wanted to do missions. I want God to use me to lead these people to the path of righteousness. I want others to be able to experience the love of God just the way I have experience it! I was so focused on myself, but I pray God will make me selfless! There are people who need to hear the word of God, and we need to tell them the word of God! Oh, how he loves us. Let us love each other just the way he loved us! God's love is the true love. God's love is the greatest love of all! :) 

- kjoosaurus out!

Broken Down Walls [5/28/12]

Hello there!

Tonight, I was able to experience a beautiful moment with my own mother. For a few days, we have been  talking about how we want to pray with each other, but it didn't happen until tonight! Of course, I was feeling lazy once again, so I almost backed out of it. I didn't feel like getting out my bible and discussing it with her. For some reason, while we were reading the bible, I kept getting annoyed of her as well. It was extremely odd because I had absolutely no reason to be annoyed by her, and it was really distracting me from reading God's word!

Either way, I just prayed to God that he would help me. I prayed for him to cast away all of the distractions, and right away, they disappeared! I was able to focus on the word of God, and I was able to freely discuss the book with my Mom! :)

Then, as we were praying, an even more amazing thing happened.

To explain a bit, lately, God has been asking me to call out to him while I'm in prayer. I often pray at night when everybody is sleeping, so my prayers happen to be whispers. Yet, every time I prayed, God kept asking me to call out to him. He just wanted me to yell out his name! Although I knew this, I used the excuse of it being too late at night to stop myself from calling out his name. But tonight, as I was praying with my Mom, she was praying for me when she started to say, "Lord, cast out this spirit of heaviness. Kristen, just call out to God. He wants you to call out to him! Kristen! Call out to him!"

Of course, I realized then how much there is blocking the path between me and God. He has been wanting to get closer to me recently, but I've been allowing myself to be brought down and distracted... Before my Mom even said this, I was wanting so badly to call out his name! I wanted to yell out! "JESUS! JESUS!" But there was something in my way... God definitely wanted me to pray with my Mom tonight, because tonight, I finally called out to him. Slowly, very slowly, I'm getting closer and closer to God.

I can still feel the clutter of stuff that's in the way, but I felt so much freer tonight! I want to be able to love God with all my heart, and with everything I have!

Mark 12:30

And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart,

all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. 

He really does want us to love him with every thing we have. He wants us to give everything up to him, and just love him! I desperately want to be able to love him with all that I have! I hope you do too! There are so many things that can keep us from loving him completely. This world is filled with distractions and doubts, but God does want us to be close with him. He wants us to draw closer and closer to him every single day. We need to break down these walls! We need to throw away our pride! We need to seek him in every thing we do. We need to pray and pray and pray!

Our God is a beautiful, wonderful God. Tonight, he brought me so much joy! I feel so much happier and freer as I draw closer to him! I want to love him completely! One day, I hope to love him as much as he loves us. :) 

- kjoosaurus out!

Cry for Attention [5/25/12]

Hello there!

Today, I had a friend ask me how I was doing spiritually... Although I did not have the time to express my joy, I can say now, I am extremely joyful that he asked me this! Just with that one question, a whole conversation about God came up! Isn't that wonderful? I'm getting excited right now as I realize how simple it is to bring God into our lives. So, I hope we will all ask each other how our spiritual lives are! 

Now, today, I'm going to quickly share about something I learned in Matthew. I was reading Matthew chapter 6, and I noticed a very obvious recurring theme. This chapter was teaching about giving to the needy, prayer, fasting and money. Here, I'll show you some of the verses I read. 

Matthew 6:1-2

Watch out! 

Don't do your good deeds publicly,

 to be admired by others, 

for you will lose the reward 

from your Father in heaven.

When you give to someone in need, don't do

as the hypocrites do-blowing 

trumpets in the synagogues and streets

to call attention to their acts of charity!

I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. 

Then I read:

Matthew 6:5-6

When you pray, 

don't be like the hypocrites

who love to pray publicly on street corners and in

the synagogues where everyone can see them. 

I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get.

But when you pray, go away by yourself, 

shut the door behind you, and pray

to your Father in private.

Then your Father, who sees everything,

will reward you. 

And the final example:

Matthew 6:16

And when you fast, don't make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, 

for they try to look miserable and dishevelled 

so people will admire them for their fasting. 

I tell you the truth, that is the only reward they will ever get. 

So, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but in every single passage, there is one common theme. We must not boast to others. We must not do the things we do for the fame of it! This is something I am definitely guilty of. I've always struggled with seeking the attention of others, and I would do things to get people to notice me. I wanted people to like me, and to look up to me. But, because of this, I was just falling more and more. 

As humans, we often seem to seek the attention from others. We crave it. We want to know people care about us and look up to us, so we try to put ourselves out there for them to see. But is this the reward we should be seeking? Are we going to be satisfied when we get some attention from people? The answer is no. Nothing of this world will ever completely satisfy us. The best and most fulfilling reward comes from God! 

So, let's do good deeds to honour our father, and not to be admired by others! The rewards from our father are the best rewards! They are the only rewards we should be seeking. It will be tough, but together, we can all overcome this need for worldly rewards! Hooray~ :) 

Sorry, it was a bit shorter tonight... But, we will meet again tomorrow! Hehe. 

Good night everybody!

- kjoosaurus out!

Encouraging One Another [5/24/12]

Hello there!

Sorry I didn't post anything yesterday... Lately, I've been struggling with reading the word, and I've been putting it off for a long time, but last night, I finally decided to throw all laziness aside, and I spent some time with God. Of course, it was worth it! For the past few days, I've been staying home and watching movies and dramas. I've been doing absolutely nothing. I always had a feeling that I should be reading his word, but I just couldn't shake the laziness off!

So, yesterday, while I was spending some time with God, he told me a little something that I would love to share with you all today! As I was praying, God was reminding me of something I had heard a while ago. It's something many of us know, but fewer of us do. He told me we should be holding each other accountable and encouraging each other to spend time with God, and to keep up our relationship with him! This is something I had needed in the past week. I needed people to ask me how I was doing spiritually, I needed people to ask me about my relationship with God.

Hebrews 3:12-14

Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. 

Make sure that your own hearts

are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God.

You must warn each other every day, while it is still "today," so that

none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened

against God.

For if we are faithful to the end, 

trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, 

we will share in all that belongs to Christ. 

As my days without God went by, what I noticed was how I was slowly turning away from God. I had very few thoughts about him, and I was immersing myself into worldly things. I was becoming more and more obsessed with whatever drama or movie I was watching, and I chose to do worldly things instead of godly things. It is incredibly easy to fall into this trap! That's why the bible says, "You must warn each other every day." Do you guys see how important it is to keep God in our conversation and actions every single day? 

So... How should we go about doing this? Well, something I have personally decided to work on, is asking people how they're doing spiritually, or asking them how their relationship is going with God. Is it not important to check up with our brothers and sisters in Christ? I was trying to think of why I had never done this before, and I realized... It's because many people will act uncomfortable when we ask them this question. I never want to make people feel uncomfortable, so I think I've been avoiding this question. But, we need to be asking this question! We need to talk about God! 

Conversations about God should not only take place at church, or at bible studies. They should take place anywhere and everywhere! I hope you will begin to ask your brothers and sisters in Christ how they are doing spiritually. I'm going to do my best to talk about it too. Also, if anybody ever asks you, please don't say, "Oh, it's good." or "It's fine." Yes, it may be good, but we need to elaborate! Go in depth about it! Open up to others about your relationship with Christ! Tell your brothers and sisters in Christ what he is doing for you, so together we can grow! Honestly, I learn so much every time I have a christ based conversation with my brothers and sisters. So, what's stopping us!? Why aren't we talking about this with each other?! 

Another thing we should start doing, is meeting up with one another to read the bible together, to grow together and to pray together. I'm really eager to start doing this with my brothers and sisters in Christ! Just reading the word and praying together... How much growth and changes there will be in both of our lives! I'm not saying this should be a one time thing. Oh no, this should be continuous! We should do this as often as we can! For it says in Matthew 18:20:

For where two or three gather together 

as my followers, I am there among them.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. So, if two or three of us meet, and study the word and pray with one another, then that means Jesus is in that place with them! And if Jesus is there, then wonderful things MUST be happening! So, once again I say, why aren't we doing this!? Of course, we will always find excuses to why we aren't able to do this. We might say, "There's nobody interested" or "I don't have time." There are millions of excuses we could come up with, but none of them are good enough! There is not a single reason on earth that can justify not having fellowship! So, if you say you don't have time, well, make time! If you have time to be on Facebook, if you have time to watch tv, if you have time to sit there and do absolutely nothing, then you definitely have time to meet up with your brothers and sisters in Christ to read the word and pray together! 

Don't let laziness overcome you. Don't let it even take a part in your life! Don't let those lazy thoughts get into your head like they did in mine... I will pray for you! I will pray that we will all meet up together to learn more about God. That we will seek to do his will! That we will never ever turn away from him! So together, let us be faithful till the end! 

- kjoosaurus out!

One Way [5/15/12]

Hello my friends!

How are you all doing? I hope you are living beautiful Christ-filled lives :) I went to my church's youth group tonight, and it was absolutely wonderful! It is so great to see these young people filled with so much joy. Truly a blessing! I pray they will continue to become more and more passionate for God; I pray  their hearts would really open up to God!

As I was praying about what to write tonight, God told me to go straight to illbehonest.com to watch some videos. The first video I saw was this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=8X8dYCfKk_g. The video speaks of how Jesus Christ is the one and only way.

The reason why this immediately caught my interest was because of how I have recently been in the presence of many, many Catholics. It began a couple of months ago. I was discussing with a fellow sister in Christ of the differences between Catholicism and Christianity. I truly could not think of any difference other than the processes of things, and how Catholics pray to the Virgin Mary. Then, this sister began to explain how Catholics also believe they are able to go to Heaven by more ways than just Jesus. She told me they believed doing good deeds would also allow them to go to Heaven. This surprised me very much!

After I talked about this with her, I noticed an increase of Catholics in my life. I met people on the greyhound who were Catholic, I discovered I have family that is Catholic, and I recently met many Catholic people on my trip to Korea! Now, I know Catholicism is not a rare religion, but I was still surprised at how I have only recently noticed how many Catholics are around me!

Then, I began to think... Is there a reason why God is placing them in my life? Is there something He wants me to do? I'm still not completely sure of what it is He wants, but it has started to get me thinking.

There must be so many people in this world who are SO close to being saved, but they are thinking they are able to be perfect in God's eyes if they do good deeds, good things, etc. Yet, the truth is, Jesus Christ is the only way! It is only through Jesus Christ that we are able to be with our perfect God in heaven above. As the video says, we must trust in Jesus Christ. We must truly believe Christ died for us; it is the biggest proof of His great love for us! Nothing we ourselves do will make us perfect in God's eyes. Only when we accept Jesus Christ and accept the beautiful and true story of how he died for us, all of us sinners, will we become perfect in the eyes of our God.

It would be great if God would use us all to show others how Jesus Christ is the one and only way! May He speak through us and use us to tell the truth to all the nations!

John 14:6

New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

I wasn't listening to this song while I was writing this post, but I remembered it as I was finishing up! We always used to sing this song at VBS :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPuUIUWE8h8

Thank you so much for reading this post! Every single one of you is such a special blessing in my life. You are all God's beautiful children, and He loves every single one of us so much! May you continue to trust in Him through every second of your day. May His presence be very obvious in your life!


- kjoosaurus out! 

God's will, not ours. [5/14/12]

Hello Hello!

kjoosaurus is back in business. I would like to thank all the mysterious authors who have been posting for me while I was in Korea. I think they did a fantastic job, and I hope God revealed things to them as they wrote :) My trip to Korea was a whole lot of fun! I went to learn Korean, and that didn't work out very well, but I had a very good time while I was there! The only thing I was shocked about was the vanity and materialism that consumes the country... But that is a story for another day!

Today, I would like to talk about something God has been teaching and showing me.

Hmmm. Where should I start. Okay, so I became friends with this one person a few years ago, called R (I'm using this since mysterious single-lettered names seem to have become a trend on this blog), and the two of us became very, very close. The only thing is, R is not a believer.

I didn't really care about R not being a believer because I was not at all focused on God at that time of my life. So, we had a very ungodly relationship, and other than coming to church with me sometimes, R had no experiences with God. But, as you know, I became very close to Christ while I was in Ottawa, and I actually came to realize how R was distracting me very much from building a relationship with Christ. So, at that time, I stopped talking to R very much, and I continued to build an amazing relationship with Christ.

Well, everything was going quite fine and dandy... Until I got home. R knew I was home, so R made a couple of visits to my home and things went downhill from there. You see, R is a very lonely person, and it hurt me to see my close friend be so alone. I wanted to be close with R again, but one thing R made very clear to me, was that there was no religion and no God to be a part of our relationship. R has never wanted to hear anything about God, but in the time we've been apart... This has become worse. Every time I mention anything about my wonderful God, R tunes out. So, just to please R, I stopped directly talking about God. Instead, I tried more subtle tactics (I am absolutely terrible at being subtle.) I prayed for R, and I tried to make R have a different perspective about God.

But, do you notice how I keep saying I? It was ME trying to do all the work. I was not at all letting God do the work. I was relying on my own power and knowledge to bring this dear friend to Christ.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.

You see, because of my desperation to help R find Christ, I forgot something very important. I forgot to trust God, and allow God to do all of the work with His power. I often find myself doing these things... It brings me so much sadness to see R be living life without Christ. To see somebody I love so much be living in such loneliness, and so much pain... It brings me quite a bit of heartache. But! I know God is working, and I'm most likely a distraction to R. God doesn't want me to try to take control... He doesn't want me to try to do any of the work. He wants me to hand R over to Him, and in time, R will be able to know the glory and mercy of God as well.

This isn't the only time I have tried to rely on my own knowledge and power. I often forget to rely solely on God. God has the most knowledge, and the most power. He knows exactly what is going on, and exactly what is going to happen. He just wants us to put our matters into His hands, and He will deal with them in His time. We just need to learn to let go of our habit of controlling things. It's definitely hard, but God hears our prayers. He's not sitting in Heaven with His ears plugged! He's listening to us, and he's always going to answer us! May we learn to trust the Lord, and not lean on our own understanding. :)

Thanks for reading my post tonight! I hope you are all doing well! God bless!

Here's the song I listened to while writing this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp5PZuuB3Pg

Also, I wanted to share the video of my baptism with you all! Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2ZAgSYH8oI

- kjoosaurus out! :) 

My Testimony [5/5/12]

Hello Hello!

Tomorrow, I will finally be getting baptized! Well, I guess it's today now... But I'm sure you all know what I mean. At my church, we do a water baptism, so every person who gets baptized has to write a short testimony. I've been working on my testimony for a few hours... I wish I could put in every single detail of what the Lord has done in my life, but I could only put in the most important things. It's still very, very long though. 

Our God is an awesome God. He's a wonderful God. Full of wonders. Well, tonight, I thought I would share my testimony with you. God changed me from a human filled with hate, to a child of God filled with love. He is so great! 

My name is Kristen Joo, I am 19 years old, and a child of God.

Although I have no single, crazy event that led me to be saved, I had a series of events and multiple people that God used to bring me closer to Him, and the way he planned my life, and the way it perfectly unravelled, is just so wonderful and beautiful.

I was born and raised in a Christian family. Since I can remember, I have been going to church every single Sunday. I absolutely wasn’t allowed to skip church, and there was no arguing with that! So, every Sunday, I would go to church, and although I would be physically present, my mind would be worlds away. I would listen to story after story about this figure named God, but… I never got to know Him… I just attended church on Sunday, and then I went back to my old self for the rest of the week.

To be completely honest, I can’t remember when I was saved. There were so many times when I was on a spiritual high, but each lasted only a few weeks. So, I continued to live in a tug of war life with God. He would pull me closer to Him, and I would pull away. Closer, away. Closer, and away again.

But one thing I realized.. Is that he never lets us go. Once we are His, we are always His.

My initial goal for university was to move to Toronto so that I could be with my cousins. I applied at a couple schools around that area, but God had very different plans in mind. All of my plans to move to Toronto were thrown away, and I somehow ended up in Ottawa. I was upset at first, but I got over it quickly, because all I really wanted was to move away from home.

Once I arrived in Ottawa, I was finally free. I could do anything I wanted to do. I stayed up until 5 in the morning, I didn’t clean my room, I ate all the junk food I wanted, and the whole time, I had no parents nagging me! I also decided that I wasn’t going to go to church anymore. This new freedom that I had meant I could sleep in until 2 on Sundays; I could stay up late on Saturday night, and know I would have the next day to sleep. So, I stopped going to church...

But, my Mom started calling me. Every time she called me, she asked me, “Kristen, have you gone to church yet?” Every time, I would say, “No, I haven’t found one.” So, being the efficient mother she is, she found a church for me. But.. It was a Korean church. Because I can’t speak Korean, I’ve always had a very difficult time with Korean people. They see my face, and they immediately have expectations that I can not meet. Therefore, I avoided them at all costs. I tried a church, but it didn’t work out. So, to get my Mom to stop nagging me, I dragged myself to this dreaded Korean church.

God definitely wanted me to be there, because the first Sunday I attended was spectacular! I was so warmly welcomed by the people, and everybody spoke to me in English!! It was awesome!!  Before I knew it, I had built wonderful, Christ-based relationships. God began to use me, and change me. He changed me, and he continues to change me so much! There are many ways where God has changed me, but there is one huge area that He has changed. He really began to teach me how to love others.

Before I went away to university, I was filled with so much hate… I hated everything. I hated anybody that corrected me, I hated anybody that hated me, I hated anybody that was too nice to me. I just hated everything. This hate really showed in my actions… I treated my family terribly. I treated my friends without the care they deserved. I hurt people in ways so bad, I can’t bear to think about it now. My words were used as a sword to stab, and discourage. The purpose of my words was to bring people down… The fact that I struggled with pride didn’t help either. I wanted people to see me as above others. In ways, I was trying to glorify myself.

I think this may have been why I couldn’t get closer to God… I felt so, so guilty for how I had treated his beautiful creations. These were His own children that I was discouraging and hating! I had caused so much hurt and pain in these people… How could He bear to love me too?

But, for some reason, God kept loving me. I was constantly reminded of His love for us. There were verses all over the place about his love. There were people all over the place reminding me of how great his love is. God’s love was literally surrounding me! 

This verse is the only verse I have ever memorized. It has been on my heart for several years… It has never left me, and for some reason, I always catch myself saying it in my head.  

John 3:16  “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” 

Although these words were always on my heart, I never really thought about what they meant. But, as this past school year went by, God has been showing me more, and more. He has been opening my eyes and my heart. I finally realized what He had done for me! Even now, after I’ve realized it, I’m still mind-blown. He loved me THAT MUCH? Who am I to deserve this love? I am a sinner. I am unworthy, I am worthless, I am nothing. My world was filled with hate, pride, and jealousy… But, He still showed me His grace. He forgave me for ALL of my sins. ALL OF THEM! I still cannot believe it. Every single dirty, disgusting, revolting sin has been forgiven by the grace of God.

When I discovered this unimaginable love God has for us, a passion began to stir inside my heart. I want to become like Him. I want to be a reflection of Him! When I look into the mirror, I don’t want to see myself; I want to see Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour! As I have been getting closer and closer to Him, He has truly been changing and moulding me. I pray He will make me a humble servant, so that I may do His will. I pray He will help me give up my whole life for Him! I pray He will continue change me, so that I may love like He does. 

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

Today, I am proclaiming my love for Jesus! I am committing the rest of my life to do the work of the Lord!

Your Kingdom come,

Your will be done

On earth as it is in Heaven. 

- kjoosaurus out! 

Living Sacrifice [5/4/12]

If God asked you this question: "Will you sacrifice all you have for me?" How would you react?

If God asked you to give up your career for Him, if God asked you to give up all of your worldly possessions for Him, if God asked you to give up everything for Him. Would you do it without hesitation?

You know, one day, God might ask us this exact question. He might ask you to give up the job you worked so hard to get. He might ask you to let go of every single penny you have. We hold on so tightly to these worldly things, but what good is it doing for us? Why am I holding on to the things the world is giving me, when God is promising so much more?

Romans 12:1
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

A true and proper worship? God wants me to offer Him everything I have, and this will please Him. Everything I now hold in my hands, I should give to God. My whole life should be offered to Him. It's hard, isn't it? As soon as we were brought into this world, we were sinners. Our desires were of the flesh, and we craved and desired the things of this world. Oh, how unrighteous we are!

As we look at the people around us, what do you think they are all looking for? These goals we set for ourselves, what is the final purpose? The final purpose is happiness and fulfillment. People want to believe they have done something with their lives; they believe they will be happy. They think they will be happy once they have all of the money in the world. But, they're always wanting more. Humans are always craving more and more and more to fill the emptiness inside. We try to fill this emptiness with worldly things. Money, clothes, sex, food, idols, music, movies, etc. But, there is only one thing to fill this emptiness. It's our Lord and Savior!

Thinking about how He is the only one who can save us, and the only one who can fill this emptiness inside... It makes it a bit easier for me to sacrifice everything I am to Him. We don't need anything from this world, because He is providing for us. All we need is Him, so why do we allow ourselves to be distracted by the things of this world?

Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.


If we give up everything to Him, He will change us. He will fill us with His desires, and He will turn us into His image! The closer we get to Him, the more righteous we become! What He hates, we will hate. What He loves, we will love. He is going to mold us until we are no longer an image of the world, but an image of Him. All we have to do is let Him!

If God ever asks us to give up all we have for Him, I hope we will be eager to do it! The things of this world are worth nothing compared to what God has in store for us. :)

Thank you for reading this post! Here is the song I listened today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNjKLz380j8

- kjoosaurus out!

A Forbidden Love Story... [5/1/12]

Hi everyone! I will be filling in for kjoosaurus since she is most likely exhausted from travelling back to Vancouver today.

I had a difficult time trying to figure out what God really wanted me to write about today… And as I am writing this right now, I am still overwhelmed and perplexed by the topic he gave me.

Love. Love love love. Love? Love. L-o-v-e. LOVE.

Four simple letters, one short word, a simple syllable – yet, why is it so heavy laden with substance? I’m not sure about you guys, but whenever I think about this concept, I am so confused. I’m going to be completely honest with you all…

I sometimes wonder if I am able to love because when I think about love, I feel so blank. I want to really grasp what love truly means because my Lord and Saviour and Almighty God just radiates love out of every part and essence of Himself. He so loved the world that he died for us (John 3:16). Love. Love. Love?

I know this sounds really cliché, but what is love?

Maybe it’s because I’m a person who chooses to keep to myself about my innermost feelings and thoughts, but I struggle with loving others, and even myself. As I am writing this, thoughts are flooding through my head. Does this mean that I struggle also with loving God? What does it mean to truly love someone? To truly love myself? To truly love my Creator? Ah. I wonder if you guys can sense my frustration as I am trying to figure this out. God give me wisdom!

Let’s examine.. well, who else is better to examine than God himself? He IS love: “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is Love” (1John4:8).  Actually, that verse just shook me a bit. Whoever does not love… does not know God… whoever does not love… whoever does not love… Do I love? How do I know? What is love?

Well, since I am utterly confused at this point, let’s set the obvious things straight:

God is love. God loves me. God loves the world. God has loved, is loving, and always will love. God is love.

God in scriptures has shown great displays of love. Especially in the New Testament when his manifestation of love came down to earth to fulfill his ultimate display of love. But actually, what some people fail to recognize is that God’s love story is not just in the beginning of the New testament, but it began before creation, manifested itself in creation, even carried on through the fall of man, throughout the times of the prophets, past Jesus’ time, to our time, to revelations and the end times, and what is amazing is that it will carry on through eternity.

Actually, I was talking with one of my brothers in Christ today about love, and romantic love between a man and a woman. It brought us into a deeper confusion about what true love means and how true godly love should feel and manifest itself. While watching a bit of a Korean drama, I realized that the world has so many predispositions and it overtly hypes up romantic love. What I got from the world’s perspective of love was that love makes you feel warm, fuzzy, nervous inside, it makes you go crazy, it makes you vulnerable, and ultimately, it hurts. Especially when it’s forbidden or hindered. (Forbidden love seems to be a recurring theme in many K-dramas, I noticed. heh..) Through this situation, the characters became miserable, relationships broke, and hurt was inevitable.

Is love supposed to hurt? Does it make the victims miserable? And by this I mean, true love – the kind of love that God designed us to have. I don’t know what I’m trying to get at. We just became more confused discussing all this worldly representations of love. But then I realized that this idea of forbidden love isn’t a concept so far off from God himself:

(This is an extract from my paper I wrote during the past year “Genesis of Forbidden Love”)

Not many look to the book of Genesis when in search for a heart-warming love story.  Often, people look at the famous account of Adam and Eve as a story of how humans have borne their sinful nature. However, a love story exists amid the serpent, the temptation, the fall, and the separation; perhaps the greatest love story of all. 

This love story is not between the couple, Adam and Eve, who actually encouraged and allowed each other to fall into sin. In fact, the love between the two is only a miniscule representation of the greater love that surpasses time and boundaries. This love story involves the Almighty Creator and His creations; the limitless love of God is made even more glorious through the fall His two creations, Adam and Eve, as written in the book of Genesis. His love for His creations becomes the beginning of a beautiful forbidden-love story, where a God who is so perfect (2Samuel22:31), so righteous (Pslams 116:5), so pure (1John 3:3) puts himself in a vulnerable position of loving the imperfect (2Chronicles 6:36), the unrighteous (Isaiah 55:7), the impure. It is through the fall of man and the introduction of sin into the nature of man that causes the separation between the Creator and His creations. Therefore, one can question: How can two entities, so incompatible in nature and circumstance, still be subject to love?

[…]God created Adam and Eve and had made them in his own image (Genesis 1:27) in order to love them and to have fellowship with them. This is evident when he walks with them in the Garden of Eden and has a direct relationship with them (Genesis 3:8). The one and only thing God did not want man to do was not to eat the forbidden fruit. However, man defied God and his command, eating the fruit; it was in fact, the serpent (or the Devil) (Genesis 3:1), which had tempted Eve to taste the fruit, and give the sweet-tasting poison to her husband Adam. When this happened, “the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked” (Genesis 3:7). This is the fall of man, when the creations disobeyed the Creator and hid from Him out of fear and shame. God then clothed his beloved Adam and Eve (Genesis 3:21) and was separated from them. Although a God so perfect and sinless could not coexist with something that is impure and sinful, he still made a way for his love to reach his people.

[…]This ‘fall’ is rarely associated with a love story; in fact, there is a tendency for people to view it as a story of God’s righteousness where he condemns sin in both Adam and Eve. However, where sin is abound, God’s grace is more abound, according to the apostle Paul (Romans 5:20). Although man (through the temptation of the Devil) brought about the separation of God and man, God refuses to be separated from his beloved creations. One must note that something pure cannot coexist with impure sin; sin cannot exist in association to God. Therefore, in order to solve the issue of sin, God came to earth to sacrifice a part of Himself and to condemn Himself in the place of humans. Jesus Christ came in to the world to cleanse the sins of any one who believes in His self-sacrifice (Revelation 1:5). Although Adam and Eve brought sin into the world, Jesus cleanses this sin of man in order for man to be reconciled and to once again have fellowship with God. This is the ultimate story of forbidden love: one who is forbidden to love the other, under the given circumstances, sacrifices oneself in order to be with the other.

***

True love manifested in Genesis truly reflects what Christ said that day to his disciples: There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:13). That’s exactly what God did, especially when love was forbidden between man and God through man’s sinfulness. Surprisingly, inside God’s love story, love does hurt, it does create pain, vulnerable victims, and distance; but we really need to note that it’s not because of God that suffering exists in this love story, but rather because of the sinfulness of humans that made humans go running away from the One who truly loves us. In God’s love story, there is a broken relationship, but I find it truly beautiful and amazing how He, by committing an act of the greatest love, mends the brokenness through self-sacrifice just to be with us once again.

A few days ago, I had a discussion with a few brothers/sisters about worldly movies and whether we as Christians should be watching them or not. We were engulfed in a deep conversation (which I hope Kjoosaurus will write about soon!) but today, I realized something after watching a bit of this worldly Korean drama. That God is everywhere, even reflected in the melodramatic, sappy, forbidden love affairs of this world that don’t glorify him (at first sight). These sentimental affairs reflected to me that this thirst for love and this pain of love that exists in the world can reflect God’s pain and His longing to be with us. All of us. All of his lost lambs. His children. All of his creations… His nations. He longs to be with us…

And also as a side note, for those of you who have experienced similar love affairs in your past and it still lingers and hurts today, it just means that you have been blessed enough to have had a taste of what God feels for his lost people! Rejoice in your sufferings (Romans 5:3) is the verse that pops in to my head at this time.

I realized I talked of ‘eros’ love which is love between a man and a woman, but what about ‘Phillia’ (brotherly) love between friends? This is yet another love that I struggle to understand completely.

I struggle to understand this and have been struggling for a while. I have been pleading with God to reveal to me what His true Godly love is and how I can have it and how I can make it a part of my daily life towards others, towards myself, and towards Him. I have a sister in Christ who displays love and truly loves those around her, and it clearly shows. She has shown others and me great displays of love and it is so evident in her caring actions, her words, and her smile. God works through her, and I long for this for myself.

At the end of this long blog, I am still struggling to understand love for others, myself, and my loving Creator. I realize that I have long ways to go in truly understanding God’s greatest commandment of all (John 13:34). But I do know this and it gives me great hope: We are made in God’s image. Therefore, it means that we are totally capable of loving the way he loves! And what’s more, we have the living Christ residing in us. Doesn’t that make us even more capable of truly loving as he did?

The brother in Christ from earlier told me this after a long discussion: “God is love, we are made in his image and likeness, and so we have love. But sin makes it difficult because it keeps us from being like Christ. But if we become like Christ, we’ll know how to love. We’ll start to live a life of love.”

Realizing this once again, I’m just overwhelmed at the power of his "Agape" (unconditional) love that overcomes all barriers. I do not want to continue muttering mere words confessing my love for God if I don’t truly mean or understand it from the heart. I do not want to continue godless and love-lacking relationships with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I DO want to become more like Christ though, because he is love, and through him all things are possible.

My questions about love are still numerous, and I have a feeling it will be this way for a while because love is such a huge reality that will only take complete manifestation when we stand in his presence at heaven’s doorsteps. I know I didn’t come to much of a conclusion about finding out about love.. but I hope you guys come to think about our God of Love a bit more just like I am. And I pray that through God, while overcoming and sanctification of sin, you can become more and more Christ-like and truly let it take over your lives. Love, that is.