To Know You More [11/26/13]

Heavenly Father, 

I want to know you more. I want to discover more of you - more of your character - that I may truly mean it when I say "I love you, Lord." I desire to fall deeply in love with you. I desire for you to be on my mind all day long, I wish to seek you in every waking moment and dream of you as I sleep. Reveal to me your character; help me get to know you! Father, show me who you are through scripture, through testimonies, through nature, through all of your creations. Show me, so that I can fall more and more in love with you with every passing day. 

In Your name, 

Amen. 

For the past couple of months, this has been my prayer. I want to know him more and more because as I do, I believe I will fall deeper in love with him and he will continue to surpass the limited human expectations I have placed on him. As I have been praying this prayer, he has truly been revealing himself to me. He has revealed many of his characteristics that I had previously heard of, but had not really known or understood.

Most recently, God revealed more of himself to me through the book of Deuteronomy. Specifically, through chapters 28 and 30 when Moses knows he is soon to be taken by the Lord and he speaks to the Israelites the commandments, blessings and curses. I encourage you to read them now :)

In chapter 28, what God showed me was his wrath against sin. Moses is speaking of what happens when the commands are obeyed and when they are disobeyed. First, the blessings are spoken of in the first 14 verses. But then, the curses are described from verse 15 to verse 68. The heavy emphasis of what happens to those who disobey the Lord stirred up a new fear in me as I sat in my bed reading. The wrath of God follows sin/the sinner everywhere it goes. Wherever you go, whatever you do, whatever you desire. Anything you take pleasure in or find joy in, will be taken away. As I read line after line, there was only one thought in my head: God hates sin. This passage is when the fear of the Lord began to make much more sense to me. But we'll get back to that later.

Now. Jumping to Deuteronomy 30, I found hope, and another characteristic of the Lord! Two chapters ago, Moses had been describing the blessings that will be given to those who obey, and the curses that fall open those who don't. But in chapter 30, he begins to describe what happens to those who return to the Lord!

Deuteronomy 30:1-4

And when all these things come upon you, the blessing and the curse,

which I have set before you, and you call them to mind among

all the nations where the Lord your God has driven you, 

and return to the Lord your God, you and your children, and obey

his voice in all that I command you today, with all your heart 

and all your soul,

then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you,

and he will gather you again from all the peoples where

the Lord your God has scattered you.

If your outcasts are in the uttermost parts of heaven,

from there the Lord your God will gather you, and 

from there he will take you. 

Our God is a compassionate, forgiving and gracious God! For even those who have gone to the lowest of lows, who have strayed the furthest and who have hid the longest have still not gone low enough, far enough, or long enough to be out of God's reach. If, and when, we choose to return to the Lord, he receives us! He does not reject us and leave us, but accepts us and guides us back to the right path. For in verse 6 it says, "and the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live."

He himself guides us because he desires for us to turn back to him. He desires for us to love him and trust in him! This desire is shown in verse 14 when it says, "But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it." This very verse is later quoted by Paul in Romans 10:8, but in it he weaves in the gift of the new covenant: Jesus Christ. If we believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths that Jesus Christ has risen from the dead, then we are saved! Just as Moses and Paul say, to be saved is not an impossible feat. In fact, God has made it very achievable for us because he loves us. He is such a merciful God.

He revealed so much of himself to me through these passages, and as I continued to research and seek, there was more that he revealed. The next thing he helped me to better understand was what it means to fear the Lord. This fear was explained through a sermon I was listening to that described it in a way that made it much clearer!

I'm going to paint a picture for you, so imagine it with me :)

You have some well-earned vacation time and you've gone on a trip to see Niagara Falls. It's your first time going and you're very, very excited as you have heard so much about it but never had the opportunity to witness the majestic beauty with your own two eyes. As you approach the waterfalls you can hear the water crashing down and you can't wait anymore, so you run to the railing! You stand on that little cement block the railing is built on and you lean slightly over the railing to get a better view of the breathtaking waterfalls. But suddenly, since you were so caught up in the moment, you realize you've leaned a little too far. You feel yourself losing balance and you know you're about to fall in. That's when the thought, "I'm about to die," jumps into your head. (If you've ever had a near-death incident, you know what I'm talking about.) But as soon as the thought crosses your mind, somebody grabs you and brings you back to safety. You grab on to them, but you haven't forgotten the sound of the crashing water, the feel of the cool wind on your face, the distance from the railing to the water. Your legs are still trembling and you still feel the fear from what almost happened even though you know you're safe. You grab onto the person who saved you and you never want to let them go.

This is what fearing the Lord is like. As sinners, we were destined for the wrath of God (remember the anger God has towards sin in Deuteronomy 28) - a life of misery and separation from the creator. But the Lord loves us and because of this love, he gave us the choice to choose life over death by accepting and believing in Jesus Christ. This is a gift that I have taken for granted... One that I want to appreciate more, and that has been another one of my prayers. I pray that God will allow me to realize what he saved me from! I believe that as I begin to see and realize what I was rescued from, I will love the Lord my God more and more.

Day by day, I learn more about the one who rescued me. I'm continuously learning and I'm excited to share with you what I'm learning :) Let's share together as we learn more and more about our creator! Don't be afraid to comment, message me, talk to me in person, or whatever method of communication you prefer.

Thanks for reading!

-kjoosaurus out!

Missions [6/2/12]

Hello!

I hope you have all been well :) I know I haven't posted in too long... I apologize for this. These past few days were full of confusion and extremely busy for me. I recently committed to go to Turkey for missions this summer. It isn't set in stone yet, but I am beginning to train for missions, and a lot has happened in the past little while!

Today, I just wanted to share a bit about the thought process throughout days until today. It all began in Ottawa. A sister of mine was part of an organization called intercp. She is very involved with this organization and she had already gone on missions before; she told us stories of her trip to Iraq, and it made me become more and more curious about missions. She encouraged me to check out intercp when I got back to Vancouver, and she graciously put me in contact with some of the people who were involved!

When I arrived back in Vancouver, I was in contact with some of the leaders of intercp, but only through the phone. It wasn't until last Tuesday when I finally met for coffee with the em leader. It was then when I committed to go to Turkey for missions. I told him, "I will go to Turkey this summer, and I will make sure there is Vision School when I get back to Ottawa."

Wow. Those were big words coming from little old me. I'm not the kind of person who stops out of her comfort zone very much. I like to be in my cozy little bubble, and I have never stepped too far out of it. As soon as I realized what I had committed to, I became very, very scared. I didn't want to do it. There was too much at stake for me. I had so many obstacles to overcome, and I didn't want to put the effort into overcoming them. So, I started to hide from God. I began to go out with my friends a lot, I stopped writing this blog very regularly, and I immersed myself in worldly things. This last week, I rarely prayed, and I only read the bible on several occasions.

All of a sudden, I had gone from a girl who was doing nothing but looking for a job this summer, to a girl who was going to do God's work! Eep! What a change! But it made me begin to think... Is this why God wanted me to come home this summer? Did he want to give me this opportunity? Does he want me to do this? Well, this scared me even more. If God wants me to do something, and I tell him I'm going to do it, then that means I'm doing it. My friends were so excited for me! They were really hyping it up, but that scared me more and more. I didn't want to commit; I wanted to back out! But it wasn't until today, that I finally feel at peace.

You see, I forgot about why I wanted to do missions in the first place!

John 15:12-13

This is my commandment:
Love each other in the same way I have loved you.

There is no greater love than to lay down one's life

for one's friends.

God calls us to love others the way he loves us. To go to the unreached nations to tell them of God's love and bringing light to their darkness... That is showing them how we love them! It doesn't matter if they reject the words we speak; it doesn't matter if they hate us. We must love them; we must want for them to experience the glory and mercy of God! God feels so much sorrow to see them sin; he loves them deeply. He wants us to go out, and tell them how he loves them! He wants us to go out and tell them there is a way! He wants to use us to lead them to the path of righteousness! 

This is why I wanted to do missions. I want God to use me to lead these people to the path of righteousness. I want others to be able to experience the love of God just the way I have experience it! I was so focused on myself, but I pray God will make me selfless! There are people who need to hear the word of God, and we need to tell them the word of God! Oh, how he loves us. Let us love each other just the way he loved us! God's love is the true love. God's love is the greatest love of all! :) 

- kjoosaurus out!