In Love [2/24/2014]

I have fallen helplessly in love.

In love with the one who cares for me.

In love with the one who pursues me.

In love with the one who comforts me.

In love with the one who loved me first.

In January and half of February, I had become very busy with school, church, work and meeting people. I’m not sure if it’s normal or if it’s because I have a weak body, but by mid-February, I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I was at a point where I was so tired but incapable of falling asleep at night because of all the thoughts of different things happening in my life. On top of all this, I was supposed to leave for Toronto to spend another week filled with plans! Just the thought of it made my body feel weak.

I was to leave for Toronto on Friday February 14^th, but as I was flying standby, I wasn’t completely sure I would make it. I was at the gate at the airport when the desk agent told me I wouldn’t make it on the plane because it was full but that I could wait until the end of boarding just in case. Oh brother, I just wanted to leave so I could hop into bed and sleep for days… But I waited anyways.

Everybody had already boarded the plane and I was getting ready to leave when the lady called the entire standby up to the desk. We went up, expecting to be told we would have to go home tonight. Instead, she handed each of us a ticket. It turns out a party of three had checked into the airport but weren’t able to make it through security. I did feel bad for them… But I got on the plane! This has never happened to me in all of my years of flying standby. It was a miracle.

Finally, I arrived at the Toronto airport, but still had a long way to go. I had to take a couple of different busses before I would arrive at my final destination. The bus came once every hour, and I missed the bus by five minutes. Frustrated again, I called my Mom because I hadn’t had a chance to tell her I actually got on the plane. Of course she was shocked, but in a hurry she told me to hang up the phone and call my Dad. It turns out that he had arrived at the airport minutes after I did because the flight he was supposed to get on had been delayed by several hours! Lucky me. I got to see my Dad that night and his friend also gave me a ride instead of me having to bus. Imagine if I hadn’t missed that bus by 5 minutes!

This is how my trip began. In every moment, I felt as if God was watching over me and giving me opportunities to rest since he knew how tired I was. How thankful I was!

I was able to spend my Saturday at home with my cousins. I can’t remember what we did that day, but I’m pretty sure the majority of it was spent sleeping. Oh, and I wrote a song about how much I love Jesus. Heehee.

Then, on Sunday, it began. I started to feel sickness creeping into my body. It began with constant sneezing and sniffling. Then a headache. On Monday, it was exhaustion, a fever and nausea. Not just me, but my cousins as well! For two days, we just slept, woke up for an hour or so, and then slept again.

I’m sure most people would say, “Wow, that really sucks. Going to Toronto and being sick for the whole trip.” But I meant it when I say this. It was an amazing trip. I did feel terrible for having to cancel plans, but my body had been pleading for rest! After so long without proper sleep and rest, my body was ready for recovery. My sickness lasted until last night when my headache, nausea and fatigue finally left me. But I found that it was a blessing in disguise. Forced rest haha. I felt as if God was saying to me, “My daughter, lay down your head and rest. I am here with you.”

He not only showed me love through his silent whispers, but also through the people who took care of me. My cousins, aunt and uncle were so hospitable, so loving and so caring. The night when our fevers were the highest, I remember my aunt and uncle checking up on me every few hours to check my temperature and give me medication. I would check the time. 11pm, 2am, 5am. Then even in Ottawa, my beloved friends would check up on me to make sure I was okay. They would offer to be there if I ever needed anything. And although I was much better, it was still a comfort to know they were there.

Through all of these little moments and what seemed to be small acts of love, I saw God’s love and hand working in every moment and to conclude my whole week, I read the perfect chapter of a book called “Just Like Jesus” by Max Lucado.

It spoke of a constant communion with God - an awareness of his presence. For God is always with us. There are moments when he feels further away, but the reality of it is that he is never far from us. Everything we do, he is doing it with us. He never leaves us.

As I was reminded of this and challenged to partake in unceasing communion with him, I felt joy. Joy knowing that I am able to be able to have this intimate relationship with my creator.

So this is where I am now. I want to put 1 Thessalonians 5:17 into action. I want to “pray without ceasing” and aim to engage in constant communion with my Father who loves me. I hope to blog about some of the special moments and journeys we go through together, and I hope that you will join me in this. J

With love,

Kristen

To Know You More [11/26/13]

Heavenly Father, 

I want to know you more. I want to discover more of you - more of your character - that I may truly mean it when I say "I love you, Lord." I desire to fall deeply in love with you. I desire for you to be on my mind all day long, I wish to seek you in every waking moment and dream of you as I sleep. Reveal to me your character; help me get to know you! Father, show me who you are through scripture, through testimonies, through nature, through all of your creations. Show me, so that I can fall more and more in love with you with every passing day. 

In Your name, 

Amen. 

For the past couple of months, this has been my prayer. I want to know him more and more because as I do, I believe I will fall deeper in love with him and he will continue to surpass the limited human expectations I have placed on him. As I have been praying this prayer, he has truly been revealing himself to me. He has revealed many of his characteristics that I had previously heard of, but had not really known or understood.

Most recently, God revealed more of himself to me through the book of Deuteronomy. Specifically, through chapters 28 and 30 when Moses knows he is soon to be taken by the Lord and he speaks to the Israelites the commandments, blessings and curses. I encourage you to read them now :)

In chapter 28, what God showed me was his wrath against sin. Moses is speaking of what happens when the commands are obeyed and when they are disobeyed. First, the blessings are spoken of in the first 14 verses. But then, the curses are described from verse 15 to verse 68. The heavy emphasis of what happens to those who disobey the Lord stirred up a new fear in me as I sat in my bed reading. The wrath of God follows sin/the sinner everywhere it goes. Wherever you go, whatever you do, whatever you desire. Anything you take pleasure in or find joy in, will be taken away. As I read line after line, there was only one thought in my head: God hates sin. This passage is when the fear of the Lord began to make much more sense to me. But we'll get back to that later.

Now. Jumping to Deuteronomy 30, I found hope, and another characteristic of the Lord! Two chapters ago, Moses had been describing the blessings that will be given to those who obey, and the curses that fall open those who don't. But in chapter 30, he begins to describe what happens to those who return to the Lord!

Deuteronomy 30:1-4

And when all these things come upon you, the blessing and the curse,

which I have set before you, and you call them to mind among

all the nations where the Lord your God has driven you, 

and return to the Lord your God, you and your children, and obey

his voice in all that I command you today, with all your heart 

and all your soul,

then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you,

and he will gather you again from all the peoples where

the Lord your God has scattered you.

If your outcasts are in the uttermost parts of heaven,

from there the Lord your God will gather you, and 

from there he will take you. 

Our God is a compassionate, forgiving and gracious God! For even those who have gone to the lowest of lows, who have strayed the furthest and who have hid the longest have still not gone low enough, far enough, or long enough to be out of God's reach. If, and when, we choose to return to the Lord, he receives us! He does not reject us and leave us, but accepts us and guides us back to the right path. For in verse 6 it says, "and the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live."

He himself guides us because he desires for us to turn back to him. He desires for us to love him and trust in him! This desire is shown in verse 14 when it says, "But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it." This very verse is later quoted by Paul in Romans 10:8, but in it he weaves in the gift of the new covenant: Jesus Christ. If we believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths that Jesus Christ has risen from the dead, then we are saved! Just as Moses and Paul say, to be saved is not an impossible feat. In fact, God has made it very achievable for us because he loves us. He is such a merciful God.

He revealed so much of himself to me through these passages, and as I continued to research and seek, there was more that he revealed. The next thing he helped me to better understand was what it means to fear the Lord. This fear was explained through a sermon I was listening to that described it in a way that made it much clearer!

I'm going to paint a picture for you, so imagine it with me :)

You have some well-earned vacation time and you've gone on a trip to see Niagara Falls. It's your first time going and you're very, very excited as you have heard so much about it but never had the opportunity to witness the majestic beauty with your own two eyes. As you approach the waterfalls you can hear the water crashing down and you can't wait anymore, so you run to the railing! You stand on that little cement block the railing is built on and you lean slightly over the railing to get a better view of the breathtaking waterfalls. But suddenly, since you were so caught up in the moment, you realize you've leaned a little too far. You feel yourself losing balance and you know you're about to fall in. That's when the thought, "I'm about to die," jumps into your head. (If you've ever had a near-death incident, you know what I'm talking about.) But as soon as the thought crosses your mind, somebody grabs you and brings you back to safety. You grab on to them, but you haven't forgotten the sound of the crashing water, the feel of the cool wind on your face, the distance from the railing to the water. Your legs are still trembling and you still feel the fear from what almost happened even though you know you're safe. You grab onto the person who saved you and you never want to let them go.

This is what fearing the Lord is like. As sinners, we were destined for the wrath of God (remember the anger God has towards sin in Deuteronomy 28) - a life of misery and separation from the creator. But the Lord loves us and because of this love, he gave us the choice to choose life over death by accepting and believing in Jesus Christ. This is a gift that I have taken for granted... One that I want to appreciate more, and that has been another one of my prayers. I pray that God will allow me to realize what he saved me from! I believe that as I begin to see and realize what I was rescued from, I will love the Lord my God more and more.

Day by day, I learn more about the one who rescued me. I'm continuously learning and I'm excited to share with you what I'm learning :) Let's share together as we learn more and more about our creator! Don't be afraid to comment, message me, talk to me in person, or whatever method of communication you prefer.

Thanks for reading!

-kjoosaurus out!

The Lord is my shepherd [05/22/13]

Hello to my wonderful friends :)

I've received many encouraging words about this blog, and I want to thank you for the kind words you've spoken! I've found that I'm rather unskilled at expressing my gratitude to people, but in reality, I am actually extremely grateful! I really do thank God for using you to encourage and challenge me. I'm better at expressing myself through writing so FEEL MY LOVE AND THANKS! :D

I love the way God works. He is so detail-oriented, meticulous, mysterious and exciting! The way he plans things in his perfect timing is amazing and mind-blowing every time he reveals part of his plan to me.

Yesterday, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed... The very wrong side. You know those mornings when you just feel groggy and disoriented? That was my Tuesday morning. When I wake up like that, I dread the day ahead because I'm grumpy and lazy and sensitive and just a bunch of not so very good things. So there went wrong side of the bed Kristen, walking very slowly to meet her friend at Starbucks and secretly, but not so secretly, wishing she could stay in bed forever.

As I waited, I said to God, "Please give me the energy to get through the day. Please give me the motivation to stay out and not cancel all of my plans and go home to my really warm and cozy bed."

You know what's cool? When you can SEE God answering your prayers! God is very true to his words.

1 John 5:14
And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.

Once I met up with my friend, we started talking about our faith. She's a brand new Christian friend I met in my Spanish class. She told me her testimony, about her life in Rwanda, about her many struggles with her family, about betrayals from the past and she just listed so many things she had gone through that I could never even imagine going through. Then, as she began to tell me about how Christ had saved her, I saw such pure and genuine love for God in her expressions and I could hear the thankfulness in her voice. I was so encouraged by her! Her ability to remain optimistic and hopeful in Christ when everybody else had hurt her and deserted her.

My day didn't end there either! Later on, I was walking along Mackenzie King bridge, and I made eye contact with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I have seen. I've seen many beautiful blue eyes, but this pair was especially captivating. These eyes belonged to a homeless man sitting on the side, asking for spare change. Normally, I just say "sorry, I don't have any change" (which I don't) and then proceed with my day, but I just had to stop and talk to him. He told me about his day, about the "newbie" panhandlers, about how this was his spot and how he had to kick people out of his spot sometimes. It was a simple conversation, but he was just filled with so much joy and happiness! I had to run to catch my bus, but as I was leaving, he gave me an excellent handshake accompanied with an enormous smile and said, "My name is Frankie. It was really nice to meet you."

God really provides us with everything we need. Sometimes, I laugh at myself because I worry about the silliest things like having to deal with people in my disoriented state of mind. I laugh because I know I have an all-powerful God who is constantly providing for me and loving me, yet I still worry.

In John 14:27, Jesus says:
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

What Jesus has to offer us is beyond anything the world tries to offer us. Thanks to Jesus, we can live every single day with joy and peace in our hearts. What the world hands us is temporary and short-lived, but what Christ has offered to us is beyond all else and I'm grateful for this truth in my life! I'm grateful for the way God leads me to people who will encourage me and brighten up my day - constantly showing me his goodness and captivating love.

This is not at all what I was planning on writing about, but that's okay because I was still able to share God's goodness in my life! :)

I want to end this post with Psalm 23.

This was my grandmother's favourite Psalm. It has always meant a lot to me, but as I saw her rejoice in the truth of these words in her passing days, it has found an extra special place in my heart. I'm working on memorizing it and I encourage you to join me! It will probably take me a while since my memory isn't my forte, so don't worry if your memory is bad too! :)

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. 

He makes me lie down in green 

pastures.

He leads me beside still waters. 

He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley

of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, 

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff, 

they comfort me. 

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies; 

you anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows. 

Surely goodness and mercy shall

follow me

all the days of my life

and I shall dwell in the house of the 

Lord 

forever." 

We are family! [05/19/13]

Hi there!

God is great! Amen? AMEN.

In recent days, God's glory has been revealing itself more and more in my life. The more I search for him, desire him, and seek him, the more I find him in all of the different areas of my life. What I'm about to say is a little bit cheesy, but I don't care so I'm going to say it anyways. :)

Lately, God has been showing me to appreciate the tiniest of things. He's been opening my eyes to the beauty of his creations as I walk around the city I live in. He's been showing me the simple beauty of the flowers, the way the clouds drift across the blue sky, the way the rain feels as it hits my skin. The fact that I can MOVE. That I have two legs to walk on. Two hands. Yeah, it's kind of cheesy, but I'm so grateful to be able to appreciate every bit of what my heavenly father has created for me to enjoy. I take many things in life for granted and rarely spend time to just stop and thank God for the breath I am breathing.

Why am I sharing this simple detail of my life with you? I'm sharing it because I have recently come to realize a desire that has been stirring in my heart. A desire to share the blessings from God with my brothers and sisters in Christ! Of course, I already do share a bit of my life with certain people, but God is doing so much more in my life than I share with others.

The bible talks a lot about sharing with others and encouraging one another.

1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Hebrews 10:24-25
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

I believe that through our daily testimonies, we are called to encourage one another and build each other up! God is constantly moving in our lives and wouldn't it be wonderful if we were constantly sharing his workings with each other? When we go to hang out with our friends, it's always a good time. We laugh, we talk about funny things, we tell stories and talk about current events, but I also think it would be wonderful to spend more time talking about our creator and how he is moving in our lives!

I was talking to a beloved friend the other day, and she said, "I don't think my testimony is one that is very encouraging."

The more I thought about it, the more I wondered about people who think their testimony isn't spectacular. Maybe it isn't the kind of testimony where the dead come back to life, and all the sick are healed, but it's still God moving, shaping and leading a person into a beautiful relationship with Christ! It's still a person coming to believe that Christ is their Lord and saviour - king of all kings. And that, is what I think is wonderful about every testimony.

I know there are people who think they don't have too much to say, and what Christ is doing in their life isn't really worth sharing about all the time, but I have to disagree with this way of thinking. I want to encourage more people to share with one another. I realized this is why God brought me to start writing this blog! (Yes, it took me over a year to discover the true purpose - I'm a little slower than average.) There are days when I would write, and I thought I was writing about silly things that nobody cared about but every word reflected on the different effects God has had in my daily life and although they may be small and simple, they are worth sharing with the world because everything God does is part of a greater purpose.

In today's sermon, PG talked about how we should be open about the love we have for our saviour! Why do we allow ourselves to be ashamed or quiet about our love? Shouldn't we be intentional in the ways we express our love for Christ? When I really love a person, I really can't stop talking about them. I can go on and on and on about a person that I really love, because I feel so close and comfortable with them. This should transfer to my relationship with Christ! And it's what I now aim to do! He is always up to something! God doesn't just sit there and twiddle his thumbs around waiting for something to happen. He is working and moving and watching us! In every moment! So yes, maybe there are days when it feels like not much has happened, but the more we look, the more we will find!

So, let's share with one another! Share with your brothers and sisters. When you find joy in a situation, tell somebody! It's wonderful to share our burdens, but let's also share our joy and rejoice in the joyful moments we all experience! Let us build each other up and encourage each other on a daily basis :)

Anyways, that is all for today! I hope to share my daily joys and struggles with you!

-kjoosaurus out! 

Where are we going now? [04/06/13]

Hello brothers and sisters!

My, oh my it has been a long time, hasn't it? It's been about a couple of months since the last time I was able to write anything, but I can assure you that the time was well spent doing things of worth rather than spending my time being unproductive.

Quick summary of our time apart:
- I actually a lot study now (I know, I'm surprised too)
- God has been working on my character! In ways I see, yet still do not fully understand.
- I am temporarily employed! (Temporary because I'm still looking for a job with better hours)

This summary doesn't really cover all the bases of what has been going on in the past while - I've been meaning to blog as I was always inspired by the works of God seen in my life, but for some reason, the opportunity was never taken.

I wish I could tell you about everything that has been happening in my life, but I would be writing forever and ever. I'll try my best to organize my thoughts in a way that is clear, concise and understandable. Okay, here we go!

The past 60 days were filled with disappointment, struggles, joy, love and a lot of eye opening. I've never been a deep thinker. Life to me is black and white. It's filled with lines where the in-between is illegible to me. When I'm forced to think too deeply and it gets hard, I easily give up. But God has been changing this in my once simple life.

Simply put, I have learned a bit more of three things:
1. Satan's lies
2. My true character
3. God's character

Satan's lies... They surround us in this world as it is a world where Satan is deemed as King: he promises comfort, satisfaction and pleasure. If we are to succumb to the pressures of this world, then we will be forever happy as we drown in endless amounts of money, food, gadgets and fun. He plays with the fleshly desires that we as humans are faulted with. He lies to us and tells us one of two things: God is bad or sin is better.

His lies, they are so simple - why do we fall for them over and over again?

We are sheep. We are lost without our shepherd who will love us and find us when we are lost, but praise the Lord for we are able to recognize his voice and learn to stop being deceived by the multitude of voices that claim to lead the way for us. In John 10, Christ explains so well how his sheep will recognize his voice and follow him through the gate. He paints an image of protection as he describes to what extent he will go just to protect his sheep. I want to be the sheep that is able to recognize the voice of the shepherd - the sheep who will diligently be lead by the shepherd.

As I became more aware of the lies Satan has been deceiving me with, God also guided me in becoming more aware of my true character. As I learn more about the different lies I have believed, I've realized how much the Lord has done in my life and also how much further I have to go!

I've been cowardly in my way of living. All my life, I have never been able to hold my ground when it came to any opinions I held. In arguments, I would always give in. Even in essays I wrote, I would always receive the same comments: Your arguments are valid, but you need to stick firmly to your opinion.

I was recently listening to a sermon when I came across this phrase: Nail one's colors to the mast.

I didn't understand at all what this meant, so I looked it up on the ever so useful Google and found a definition that convicted me of how I have lived my life so far.

In the 17th century, flags were lowered as a mark of submission. It is believed the phrase "nail one's colors to the mast" came from a battle where the English fleet was at the point where the main ship had been brought down and to the rest of the fleet, it may have appeared to be defeat, but the admiral climbed to what was left of the mast and nailed the flag at the top where it was visible to the rest of the fleet. This act of perseverance resulted in the English fleet being victorious.

To be able to stand so firmly in a seemingly lost battle. That is what it means to nail one's colors to the mast.

I am not a persistent person by nature, but with God, all things are possible. He gives us the strength to persist in battles that are lost. When people aren't responding to the gospel that is preached, when trials and tribulations are the persistent ones in the picture, when it seems as if you are alone in a dark world. That is when it is crucial to nail your colors to the mast. For God will be VICTORIOUS.

This finally leads us to God's character. He's such a mysterious God who works in such mysterious ways. The God of all gods, King of all kings, Lord of all lords. We so often hear people preach about the beautiful and wonderful things he has done in our lives. "God loves you so much. God wants you so much. God is love." These things are so true! The bible even says that "God is love." (1 John 4:8) I was raised on this teaching. I was raised to believe that God is a warm, loving, fuzzy wuzzy God who just wants me to lean on him when I'm having a hard time. But, I never took the time to think about the full character of God.

Yes, he is a God who loves us oh so dearly, and a God we must love! But, he is also a God we must fear. This is what I have only recently been applying to my life. A God whom I must fear. How often do I think about how powerful God is? The answer is, rarely. I often forget that this is the God who simply spoke the universe into existence. SPOKE. THE WORLD. INTO EXISTENCE. Astronomers estimate the universe to consist of over 100 billion galaxies and our God spoke it into existence. I can't even think of anything or anybody to compare that to. That is how powerful our God is.

My life was spent believing in a God of love, but this was not truly God I was believing in. Our God is a God we must love, and fear. In a sermon, I heard somebody talking about how we are not truly believing in God if we live a life thinking God is just a God of love, or if God is just a God we fear. He is both things. An all-powerful, all-knowledgeable, loving, caring God. Capable of all things - creating the universe, speaking every detail of our lives into existence. Now that, is my God.

I'm still in a learning process. This is just the beginning, but praise God for bringing me to where I am now. Praise God for revealing himself in our lives.

As I see my brothers and sisters in Christ growing together, I am challenged and convicted. I thank God so much for bringing them into my life as they help me become more thirsty for God. At times, I am tempted to run away from this life. I've been tempted to throw it all down and make a run for it because in a worldly sense, being a Christian really isn't easy, but Christ has shown me how worth it all is. He understands me and allows me to rejoice in these struggles. He lets me follow him, he feeds me when I'm hungry and gives me water when I'm thirsty.

I hope I can spend more time sharing with you the mysterious workings of God in my life, and I hope we can grow together as we learn to love, rejoice and serve.

Rabbi yhebbik. (God loves you)

- kjoosaurus out! 

Fruit of the Spirit [2/2/13]

Hello~

Finally, a week of madness is over! No more exams and tests... Until next week! haha. I finally have the chance to share a little bit with you all again :)

This morning as I was doing QT, I read Galatians 5:22-26.

It says:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." 

As I was reading this, I realized how important the fruit of Spirit must be because God specifically listed out each characteristic that qualifies as the fruit of the Spirit. It's also important to realize that the fruit is coming from the Holy Spirit and not from our own selves. Although we don't give ourselves these qualities, we still have to allow the Holy Spirit to work through and in us. God is so willing to change and mould us, but he can't do this if we are unwilling to be changed.

In John 15:5 Jesus says:

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." 

Just as the branches draw life from the vine, we as well draw our lives from Jesus. If the branch is separate from the vine, it can do nothing just as if we are separate from Jesus, we can do nothing.

I'm always amazed at how we always try to work and grow and live on our own when we're always reminded of how little we are able to do without Jesus! I'm sure we all know that we, on our own, have no strength, but we often forget to ask God for his guidance and his strength. 

I know that I personally rely on my own strength and knowledge to get through things... If I realize I can't do it on my own, I turn to other people, but why is it that I so often turn to God last? He has taught me this lesson over and over and over again, yet I am always making the same mistake! But God is so patient, loving and merciful... Even when we make the same mistakes over and over again, he so patiently teaches us the same lesson until we finally have it imprinted in our minds!

I pray that we will allow the Holy Spirit to work in us! I pray that we will let go of everything we don't need and allow God to be our everything as he is all we truly need.

Jesus, we thank you for your goodness, your glory, your patience and mercy.

Thanks for reading~

-kjoosaurus out!

You've got a friend in me [01/23/13]

Hello!

I just came home from a lovely night at youth hangout and although it consisted of two youth and around five c&c members, it was still a great night! While we were spending time together, PG asked us what we valued and wanted in a friend. I've been asked this question before and I had a list of things that I value in a friend (such as honesty, loyalty, acceptance, the ability to be comfortable around them, etc.) but then he asked us if we believe we are being that kind of friend to others and it really made me think. I began to wonder what kind of friend I'm really being and if I'm being the kind of friend that I am called to be to others!

I believe that as Christians, we should do our best to be a certain kind of friend to others! To be encouraging, to always be building each other up, and to be constantly praying for one another. That's the kind of friend I would hope to be to others and I would hope to have!

Ephesians 4:29-32
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

God calls us to be supportive and forgiving friends. Wouldn't it be great if being always encouraging, kind and forgiving was possible? But, unfortunately, it is VERY hard to be these things. Often in close relationships, there are conflicts. People and their feelings tend to get hurt and if they don't know how to forgive, then the relationship could possibly be lost. From previous experience, I've noticed that holding in feelings of pain and hurt have been hindering to not only the other person, but to myself as well. We should always be seeking to forgive as we are called to forgive just as God forgave us! 

God also blesses us with one other so that we may grow as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Proverbs 27:17 
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

At times, it's hard to sharpen your friends. It can be hard to say something constructive and also have it filled with love. I believe that we naturally get defensive of our flaws and prefer not to be reminded of them and because of this, we become offended when our flaws and mistakes are pointed out to us. But I also believe that this is something we should be doing. We should be encouraging one another to become better followers of Christ! Of course we wouldn't be sharpening one another out of pride, but we would be doing it out of love! Sharpening one another is a part of loving one another. We want each other to become better followers of Christ and at times, other people can see things in you that you wouldn't be able to see in yourself. 
After tonight, I think I'll personally be trying to find ways to become the friend I am called to be! My prayer is to become more encouraging, supportive, loving and forgiving! I hope we can all be this friend and have this friend. (:

Thanks for reading~~

- kjoosaurus out!

The Glory of God [9/28/12]

Hello :]

I'm back again! Haha. Second time in a WEEK. How exciting. I wish I had written more this summer... I actually really enjoy writing, and I love sharing with people, but as I've mentioned before, I was really struggling this summer and I think I just didn't feel like I was in the right place to be writing and sharing with people. But today, I'm writing because I want to share about what I learned from the struggle!

It's crazy how much of a difference time can make; we can go from the lowest point to the highest point in such a short time. But what do we have to do to get there? What is happening in the time from the lowest to the highest point? What is working - WHO is working? 

I'm not sure if everybody else is the same, but the biggest aspect I've noticed from my roller coaster ride in my life, is that in every second, in every twist and turn, I see God. I see his hands moving from one end to the other; I see them working in building, shaping and moulding. For some reason, I normally don't see it in the process of it, but I notice it afterwards when it has already been done. 

God has taught me something absolutely amazing these past few months. . As I was going through struggles this past while, I was feeling so alone and useless. I felt like nobody wanted me, and nobody cared about me. It really sucked! I kept complaining and complaining. "God, why are you doing this to me? Why are you letting this happen?" But he just remained silent, and I was forced to endure everything "alone." 

This went on for months. I was in the dark; I was lost. I came back to Ottawa in hopes that everything would become perfect again, but nope, I was wrong. I was still in the dark. I forced myself to go to church, I forced myself to help out, and I forced myself to pray. Then, things started to get even worse. Everyday was a struggle. It felt like my friends were absent from my life, and I didn't have my family with me either. I didn't know what I was doing! 

Then I started to notice something weird. Well, it's not really weird, it's great, but it was different. I noticed an abundance of people in my life who loved and cared for me. They were coming from all different directions; they were people I never would have expected to come into my life. I didn't really realize the work behind it all at first, but then as I kept talking with friends, one friend mentioned to me the glory of God, and how we should be thankful at all times.

That's when it hit me. It was GOD! He was comforting me and He was loving me. He was the hand behind it all, and He was teaching me to remember that He will never forsake me or abandon me, and that I should always be grateful for whatever He does, and for whatever I'm going through. It doesn't matter how bad a struggle is, or how bad a problem is. He will always be there, and he will always be glorified in every situation. 

1 Peter 4: 12-13:
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 

We are lucky to be able to go through the pain and sufferings, for God will be glorified through it all! We should always rejoice, and always praise His name, for He has blessed us to be able to experience not only the pain, but His glory as well!! I often forget that this world is not my home... It's only a pit stop before we go to our real home, and we get to be with our Father. 

I hope we can all try our best to remember to be thankful at all times, and to rejoice in our sufferings and our joys! I'm sorry this post is a bit messy... I blame it on my illness hehe. But I hope you get the general gist of it! May your day be filled with joy~

kjoosaurus out!

Hungry for Him [9/26/2012]

Hello all~

Wow, it sure has been a while since I've last written anything! And this is the first time I've written something at 6 in the morning! Holy moly, I hope what I say makes sense. I just had my first meal after fasting, and although it feels sooo good to be full, from kalbi, kimchi jigae, bap and japchae hehe, it feels even better to know that God revealed something amazing to me. Well, he revealed more than one thing to me.

Fasting... It's tough! I've never fasted for such a long time. Last night, I was so HUNGRY and so EXCITED about my next meal that I didn't fall asleep until 2 or 3 in the morning, and then of course because I was still hungry, I woke up at 5:30 in the morning. I was salivating like crazy when I woke up. But, as I was eating, I realized I was still hungry. I had eaten all of that food, but there was something more I wanted, something I craved! So, naturally, I brought out my beautiful bible :)

I felt like I needed to read the book of John. There was this little internal argument going on in my head hehe. One part of me was saying, "You've already read this! You don't need to read it again. This would be your third time!" While another part of me was saying, "REAAAAD ITTTTT NOWWW."

So, I read it.

The part I opened to was John 4:34-38.

³⁴ “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. ³⁵ Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. ³⁶ Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. ³⁷ Thus the saying ‘One sows and another reaps’ is true. ³⁸ I sent you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.”

What was I truly hungry for? I was hungry to do the will of God. I was hungry for more of Him, and God showed me and reminded me that the hunger I have for food was nothing in comparison to the hunger I have for his will. I will never be satisfied by the food I eat; I will always crave more and more and more and in the end, I will never be full. But the Lord is faithful, and when I am hungry for him, and when I search for him, he will fill my cup until it is overflowing. 

Not only was I reminded of how much I need Him, but I was also reminded of his great love for me - for us! 

Last night, as I was so hungry and so tired (yet not sleeping), I was put in a position that I would never wish to be in. It was a sense of betrayal from somebody I had cared so much about, and I was angry. Super, super angry. I went on a rampage, and became a destructive ball of anger. I called out to God, and I asked Him to help me! I felt so lost, and alone.. Betrayed and abandoned. Normally, when I pray and ask God to help me, there is nothing but silence. This time, things were different. I was reminded of how God cares so much for us, and how he doesn't want us to hurt! Yes, he does discipline us, but the pain and the challenge won't last forever. 

Psalm 18:16-19

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁶ He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
    he drew me out of deep waters.
¹⁷ He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
    from my foes, who were too strong for me.
¹⁸ They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
    but the Lord was my support.
¹⁹ He brought me out into a spacious place;
    he rescued me because he delighted in me.

I love this passage... It shows the true power and strength of our Lord, Jesus Christ. He is the Almighty God, and our faithful father! Last night, in a time of hardship, he provided me with more than what I needed. He surrounded me with love, and he reminded me of how he loves us. He helped me forgive somebody who had hurt me in the past, and it is a beautiful feeling! Forgiveness is amazing. I'm not sure about you, but I find it so difficult. Just thinking about the people who have hurt me, and the way they have hurt me, I never want to forgive them, but as we pray and pray, the Lord blesses us with a forgiving heart, does he not? Of course, I haven't forgiven everybody yet, but the day is coming :) He is still by my side, he is still loving me, and he is still surrounding me. 

Psalms 18 really encourages and reminds me of how great, loving and powerful he is! I hope it encourages you as well. May we always remember the grace he has shown us, and the power of his love for us! For we would be empty, broken, and lost if we did not have Him.

We love you, Lord!

- kjoosaurus out! 

Sharing is Caring [6/6/12]

Hi everybody!!

Sorry, once again, for not posting for a while... At times I feel like giving up this blog completely, but I made a promise, and I'm planning on keeping it! There has been a lot going on in my life. Last night, I was given the opportunity to share my testimony with the youth at my church! I was super excited and nervous, but I think it went well! (Well, that's what I heard from other people.) It was really great to hear that after I shared my testimony, many of the youth opened up in their small groups... :)

Lately, I have been reading Acts because it is the book we are studying at my bible study. It has quite a bit of material, and there is a lot of heavy stuff involved. There is one story of how a couple lied to the church about how much money they were giving, and after both of them lied, they dropped dead. (Acts 5) But, what I wanted to share with you guys today is a lighter, yet inspiring story. It is found in Acts 4.

Acts 4:32-37

All the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt

that what they owned was not their own, so they shared 

everything they had. The apostles testified powerfully to the

resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and God's great blessing was upon

them all.  There were no needy people among them, because

those who owned land or houses would sell them and bring the

money to the apostles to give to those in need.

For instance, there was Joseph, the one the apostles

nicknamed Barnabas (which means "Son of Encouragement").

He was from the tribe of Levi and came from the island of Cyprus.

He sold a field he owned and brought the money to the apostles.

I really enjoyed reading this. This is something I truly, truly desire! To be united in heart and mind with other believers. To understand that the possessions I have in this world are not my own; they have all been given to me by God! They are all things of this world. It would be so wonderful and great if we could all let go of our worldly possessions, and learn to share them amongst ourselves! What I have is what you have. I often find myself being so caught up in my own possessions; I went through a phase when nobody was allowed to touch my stuff! 

But look at what these believers were doing! They were sharing everything God had provided them with; because they were sharing, they were able to say "there were no needy people among them"! How great would it be to say that!? 

I have to admit, I'm not really ready to sell all of my stuff to help everybody else out... But I hope God will one day turn me into somebody who is that loving and generous! But for now, I do know that I want to start sharing what I do have with others... Whatever I have, no matter how small! I have no right to be possessive over clothes, over gadgets, over food, over money... Everything I "own" has been provided to me by God! I can't say I "own" these things, because it wasn't even me who did any work for these things! God was the one who allowed me to put my hands on whatever I have, and I should just as easily let them go! 

I pray that God will help us all realize how little significance our worldly possessions have... That we will not shy away from being generous with these possessions, but we will rejoice when we are able to let go of these possessions! We already have so much more than we need... Yet we keep collecting more and more and seem to give away so little! 

Thanks for reading this post! :D 

- kjoosaurus out!

Open Doors [6/3/12]

Hello everybody!

God has recently been working a whole lot in my life; he's been using me in so many different ways, and it feels great! Today, I just wanted to share how God uses us all in different ways; he opens doors for us, and we should never be afraid to take these opportunities! These open doors are a precious gift he has given us; it gives us a chance to speak of his love and power, and it allows us to love others! As I mentioned yesterday, he is opening the door for me to go on missions! Well, he opened another door for me today!

Lately, I've been having very strong images of speaking to the youth group at my church. Every night, before I fall asleep, all I was able to think about was sharing my testimony with the youth, and telling them about God's love! I guess it was a daydream since I wasn't asleep. Anyways, it was a different kind of image than any other daydream; this time, it was a full speech, and there were words that I said in this daydream that I never would have thought of myself. And also, I had the same daydream every single night. I began to realize that God probably wanted me to actually go and speak to the youth group, but I was too scared to ask.

So, I briefly mentioned it to a close friend of mine, and we briefly mentioned it to the youth pastor. He didn't really react to what I said, so I decided to leave it be and just live without speaking to the youth group. Then, last night, I had this huge wave of desire to speak this coming Tuesday! I decided to ask the youth pastor; I said to myself, "Kristen, tomorrow is the day." So, I got to church today, and I saw the youth pastor, AND I chickened out. Haha. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to ask him...

So I headed home, and that was when I received a text message from a friend. It said, "Kristen, Tim wants to know if you would like to share your testimony on Tuesday." I jumped for joy!! Praise God!! He answered my prayers, and although I failed to make the effort myself, he opened the door wide open for me! :)

2 Corinthians 2:14

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession 

in Christ and through us spreads everywhere 

the fragrance of the knowledge of him.

God is truly using us all to spread the knowledge of him! He uses us in ways we have never even imagined. Let us be full of joy when we are doing the work of God; let us do his work because we love him, and love others! There are so many people who do not know the real and true love of God! Something to remember is that you shouldn't only be teaching about God's love when you go on missions; it should be happening when you are at home too! It doesn't matter where it is, or who it's with. We should always be teaching about God's love, should we not? 

At our workplaces, at school, with friends, and in our communities! If we all did our best - if we all stepped out of our comfort zones a bit; the impact would be tremendous! 

Galatians 6:9

 And let us not grow weary of doing good, 

for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

We must persevere! I know, it's so difficult to talk to non-believers about God... Surrounding us, there are so many people who have heard of him, yet do not believe in him. Our friends, our family, our colleagues.. Some will come to hate us, others will drift away from us, while even more will mock us, but this is no reason to give up! We must continue to love them, and do our best to show them God's love! Don't ever give up. Not the first time, the second time, the third time or any other time! God never gives up on loving us, right? We should never give up on loving others as well! Let us continue to praise God through any times of hardship and through any times of struggling! Let us ask him to help us persevere in doing good; ask him to guide us and let him use us!

Praise God for what he has done for us! Praise God for loving us and forgiving us! We have the most powerful and loving God, and he deserves all the glory! Let us love him just as he loves us; let us love others just as he loves us! Amen? AMEN! 

- kjoosaurus out!

Missions [6/2/12]

Hello!

I hope you have all been well :) I know I haven't posted in too long... I apologize for this. These past few days were full of confusion and extremely busy for me. I recently committed to go to Turkey for missions this summer. It isn't set in stone yet, but I am beginning to train for missions, and a lot has happened in the past little while!

Today, I just wanted to share a bit about the thought process throughout days until today. It all began in Ottawa. A sister of mine was part of an organization called intercp. She is very involved with this organization and she had already gone on missions before; she told us stories of her trip to Iraq, and it made me become more and more curious about missions. She encouraged me to check out intercp when I got back to Vancouver, and she graciously put me in contact with some of the people who were involved!

When I arrived back in Vancouver, I was in contact with some of the leaders of intercp, but only through the phone. It wasn't until last Tuesday when I finally met for coffee with the em leader. It was then when I committed to go to Turkey for missions. I told him, "I will go to Turkey this summer, and I will make sure there is Vision School when I get back to Ottawa."

Wow. Those were big words coming from little old me. I'm not the kind of person who stops out of her comfort zone very much. I like to be in my cozy little bubble, and I have never stepped too far out of it. As soon as I realized what I had committed to, I became very, very scared. I didn't want to do it. There was too much at stake for me. I had so many obstacles to overcome, and I didn't want to put the effort into overcoming them. So, I started to hide from God. I began to go out with my friends a lot, I stopped writing this blog very regularly, and I immersed myself in worldly things. This last week, I rarely prayed, and I only read the bible on several occasions.

All of a sudden, I had gone from a girl who was doing nothing but looking for a job this summer, to a girl who was going to do God's work! Eep! What a change! But it made me begin to think... Is this why God wanted me to come home this summer? Did he want to give me this opportunity? Does he want me to do this? Well, this scared me even more. If God wants me to do something, and I tell him I'm going to do it, then that means I'm doing it. My friends were so excited for me! They were really hyping it up, but that scared me more and more. I didn't want to commit; I wanted to back out! But it wasn't until today, that I finally feel at peace.

You see, I forgot about why I wanted to do missions in the first place!

John 15:12-13

This is my commandment:
Love each other in the same way I have loved you.

There is no greater love than to lay down one's life

for one's friends.

God calls us to love others the way he loves us. To go to the unreached nations to tell them of God's love and bringing light to their darkness... That is showing them how we love them! It doesn't matter if they reject the words we speak; it doesn't matter if they hate us. We must love them; we must want for them to experience the glory and mercy of God! God feels so much sorrow to see them sin; he loves them deeply. He wants us to go out, and tell them how he loves them! He wants us to go out and tell them there is a way! He wants to use us to lead them to the path of righteousness! 

This is why I wanted to do missions. I want God to use me to lead these people to the path of righteousness. I want others to be able to experience the love of God just the way I have experience it! I was so focused on myself, but I pray God will make me selfless! There are people who need to hear the word of God, and we need to tell them the word of God! Oh, how he loves us. Let us love each other just the way he loved us! God's love is the true love. God's love is the greatest love of all! :) 

- kjoosaurus out!

Broken Down Walls [5/28/12]

Hello there!

Tonight, I was able to experience a beautiful moment with my own mother. For a few days, we have been  talking about how we want to pray with each other, but it didn't happen until tonight! Of course, I was feeling lazy once again, so I almost backed out of it. I didn't feel like getting out my bible and discussing it with her. For some reason, while we were reading the bible, I kept getting annoyed of her as well. It was extremely odd because I had absolutely no reason to be annoyed by her, and it was really distracting me from reading God's word!

Either way, I just prayed to God that he would help me. I prayed for him to cast away all of the distractions, and right away, they disappeared! I was able to focus on the word of God, and I was able to freely discuss the book with my Mom! :)

Then, as we were praying, an even more amazing thing happened.

To explain a bit, lately, God has been asking me to call out to him while I'm in prayer. I often pray at night when everybody is sleeping, so my prayers happen to be whispers. Yet, every time I prayed, God kept asking me to call out to him. He just wanted me to yell out his name! Although I knew this, I used the excuse of it being too late at night to stop myself from calling out his name. But tonight, as I was praying with my Mom, she was praying for me when she started to say, "Lord, cast out this spirit of heaviness. Kristen, just call out to God. He wants you to call out to him! Kristen! Call out to him!"

Of course, I realized then how much there is blocking the path between me and God. He has been wanting to get closer to me recently, but I've been allowing myself to be brought down and distracted... Before my Mom even said this, I was wanting so badly to call out his name! I wanted to yell out! "JESUS! JESUS!" But there was something in my way... God definitely wanted me to pray with my Mom tonight, because tonight, I finally called out to him. Slowly, very slowly, I'm getting closer and closer to God.

I can still feel the clutter of stuff that's in the way, but I felt so much freer tonight! I want to be able to love God with all my heart, and with everything I have!

Mark 12:30

And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart,

all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. 

He really does want us to love him with every thing we have. He wants us to give everything up to him, and just love him! I desperately want to be able to love him with all that I have! I hope you do too! There are so many things that can keep us from loving him completely. This world is filled with distractions and doubts, but God does want us to be close with him. He wants us to draw closer and closer to him every single day. We need to break down these walls! We need to throw away our pride! We need to seek him in every thing we do. We need to pray and pray and pray!

Our God is a beautiful, wonderful God. Tonight, he brought me so much joy! I feel so much happier and freer as I draw closer to him! I want to love him completely! One day, I hope to love him as much as he loves us. :) 

- kjoosaurus out!

One on One [5/27/12]

Hi everybody!

I hope you're all doing well. A lot has been happening in my life in these past few days, and I hope I can share about them sometime soon! I've been learning a lot in the past while, but I just wanted to share with you all something God has been asking me to do.

My life has always been prone to becoming very hectic. I've always been terrible at staying at home, and being without people. Therefore, I'm almost always out and I'm almost always surrounded by many people. As I've mentioned before, I have recently gotten to know God a bit more and he has really motivated me to reach out to others and tell them the good news! With this new vision, I've been going out and meeting up with more and more people! It has definitely been great and all, but it has caused me to forget something very important.

In this busy life, I have forgotten that I need to spend some time with God too. No, not in a crowd of people, but time where it's just me and God.

As Jesus spent his time on earth, he preached, healed and performed miracles! But, he always found time to spend with God.

Matthew 26:39

He went on a little farther and bowed

with his face to the ground, praying

"My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of

suffering be taken away from me.

Yet I want your will to be done, not mine."

He prays a similar prayer to God three separate times. I really love to see this from Jesus. To see how he really does have a relationship with God, and how he tells God what is going on and how he is feeling. It's also very encouraging to see Jesus say, "I want your will to be done, not mine." Jesus sets us a perfect example. He knows what is to come, and he takes the time to pray to God about it. I mean, when I think about it, this is huge. A lot of times, when something really bad is happening to me, I don't pray about it. I'm so consumed in my worries and my sorrows, that I forgot to lift them all up to God. 

Jesus finds the time to lift everything up to God. He finds the time to be alone with God. 

Luke 5:16

But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer. 

Jesus was doing quite a bit. He was a very busy man, and he was doing huge things! But, he still found time to spend with God! When I read this, I realized how much junk I need to cut out of my life. I have so many distractions that surround me, and I'm letting them distract me quite a bit! Sometimes, I'm not even busy. Sometimes, I just find a whole bunch of nothing to do, and I call myself "busy." Because of this, I've been spending less and less time with God... But recently, he's been calling me back to him. He wants me to spend time with him! He wants you to spend time with him! 

I actually deleted my Facebook account for a while... Just to get used to not having it around. It's terrible, but I really let Facebook distract me. Of course, there are tons of other things that distract me, but Facebook is the biggest. It's silly because I don't really do anything on Facebook anyways! God doesn't want these things to keep us from him. I mean, they're a great way for me to connect with people, but I definitely cannot let it consume so much time as I've already let it! I'm sure we all have something that is distracting us from spending time with God. I hope we will all realize what that is, and figure out a way to stop it from being a distraction! 

Let's all get to know our God even better! :) Thanks for reading this post!

- kjoosaurus out!