To Know You More [11/26/13]

Heavenly Father, 

I want to know you more. I want to discover more of you - more of your character - that I may truly mean it when I say "I love you, Lord." I desire to fall deeply in love with you. I desire for you to be on my mind all day long, I wish to seek you in every waking moment and dream of you as I sleep. Reveal to me your character; help me get to know you! Father, show me who you are through scripture, through testimonies, through nature, through all of your creations. Show me, so that I can fall more and more in love with you with every passing day. 

In Your name, 

Amen. 

For the past couple of months, this has been my prayer. I want to know him more and more because as I do, I believe I will fall deeper in love with him and he will continue to surpass the limited human expectations I have placed on him. As I have been praying this prayer, he has truly been revealing himself to me. He has revealed many of his characteristics that I had previously heard of, but had not really known or understood.

Most recently, God revealed more of himself to me through the book of Deuteronomy. Specifically, through chapters 28 and 30 when Moses knows he is soon to be taken by the Lord and he speaks to the Israelites the commandments, blessings and curses. I encourage you to read them now :)

In chapter 28, what God showed me was his wrath against sin. Moses is speaking of what happens when the commands are obeyed and when they are disobeyed. First, the blessings are spoken of in the first 14 verses. But then, the curses are described from verse 15 to verse 68. The heavy emphasis of what happens to those who disobey the Lord stirred up a new fear in me as I sat in my bed reading. The wrath of God follows sin/the sinner everywhere it goes. Wherever you go, whatever you do, whatever you desire. Anything you take pleasure in or find joy in, will be taken away. As I read line after line, there was only one thought in my head: God hates sin. This passage is when the fear of the Lord began to make much more sense to me. But we'll get back to that later.

Now. Jumping to Deuteronomy 30, I found hope, and another characteristic of the Lord! Two chapters ago, Moses had been describing the blessings that will be given to those who obey, and the curses that fall open those who don't. But in chapter 30, he begins to describe what happens to those who return to the Lord!

Deuteronomy 30:1-4

And when all these things come upon you, the blessing and the curse,

which I have set before you, and you call them to mind among

all the nations where the Lord your God has driven you, 

and return to the Lord your God, you and your children, and obey

his voice in all that I command you today, with all your heart 

and all your soul,

then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you,

and he will gather you again from all the peoples where

the Lord your God has scattered you.

If your outcasts are in the uttermost parts of heaven,

from there the Lord your God will gather you, and 

from there he will take you. 

Our God is a compassionate, forgiving and gracious God! For even those who have gone to the lowest of lows, who have strayed the furthest and who have hid the longest have still not gone low enough, far enough, or long enough to be out of God's reach. If, and when, we choose to return to the Lord, he receives us! He does not reject us and leave us, but accepts us and guides us back to the right path. For in verse 6 it says, "and the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live."

He himself guides us because he desires for us to turn back to him. He desires for us to love him and trust in him! This desire is shown in verse 14 when it says, "But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it." This very verse is later quoted by Paul in Romans 10:8, but in it he weaves in the gift of the new covenant: Jesus Christ. If we believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths that Jesus Christ has risen from the dead, then we are saved! Just as Moses and Paul say, to be saved is not an impossible feat. In fact, God has made it very achievable for us because he loves us. He is such a merciful God.

He revealed so much of himself to me through these passages, and as I continued to research and seek, there was more that he revealed. The next thing he helped me to better understand was what it means to fear the Lord. This fear was explained through a sermon I was listening to that described it in a way that made it much clearer!

I'm going to paint a picture for you, so imagine it with me :)

You have some well-earned vacation time and you've gone on a trip to see Niagara Falls. It's your first time going and you're very, very excited as you have heard so much about it but never had the opportunity to witness the majestic beauty with your own two eyes. As you approach the waterfalls you can hear the water crashing down and you can't wait anymore, so you run to the railing! You stand on that little cement block the railing is built on and you lean slightly over the railing to get a better view of the breathtaking waterfalls. But suddenly, since you were so caught up in the moment, you realize you've leaned a little too far. You feel yourself losing balance and you know you're about to fall in. That's when the thought, "I'm about to die," jumps into your head. (If you've ever had a near-death incident, you know what I'm talking about.) But as soon as the thought crosses your mind, somebody grabs you and brings you back to safety. You grab on to them, but you haven't forgotten the sound of the crashing water, the feel of the cool wind on your face, the distance from the railing to the water. Your legs are still trembling and you still feel the fear from what almost happened even though you know you're safe. You grab onto the person who saved you and you never want to let them go.

This is what fearing the Lord is like. As sinners, we were destined for the wrath of God (remember the anger God has towards sin in Deuteronomy 28) - a life of misery and separation from the creator. But the Lord loves us and because of this love, he gave us the choice to choose life over death by accepting and believing in Jesus Christ. This is a gift that I have taken for granted... One that I want to appreciate more, and that has been another one of my prayers. I pray that God will allow me to realize what he saved me from! I believe that as I begin to see and realize what I was rescued from, I will love the Lord my God more and more.

Day by day, I learn more about the one who rescued me. I'm continuously learning and I'm excited to share with you what I'm learning :) Let's share together as we learn more and more about our creator! Don't be afraid to comment, message me, talk to me in person, or whatever method of communication you prefer.

Thanks for reading!

-kjoosaurus out!

Where is the center of your life? [06/16/13]

Dear friends,

I hope you have all been well! And happy Father's day to all the wonderful fathers out there! I'm a little sad to be separated from my own father on this special day, but thank the Lord for technology! I could talk to him on the phone all day if I wanted! (More like if he wanted... which he doesn't.) But that is okay! I hope you all have an amazing day today filled with very special time with your families :)

Today, I would like to share with you a couple of verses that have been speaking to me in the past couple of days. You see, I'm preparing to go to Haiti in August and as we train together as a team, we are supposed to memorize a whole pile of bible verses, which is an excellent idea, but I have a very unfortunate memory. I've memorized next to nothing and no matter how hard I try, it just won't stick! But they've still been speaking to me. :)

Romans 12:1
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your act of spiritual worship."

Galatians 2:20
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

The life I had previously lived had been a Kristen-centered life. What was the purpose of my life? Earn money, buy a car, buy a house, buy clothes, buy food, be popular, be funny, be "loved," be famous, be fit... and the list goes on and on. These are the only things I wanted in life and I worked hard for them. I earned a lot of money in high school and I was able to buy many different objects, but I got bored of every single one of them. I also had many friends in high school, but I was never satisfied. I wanted more. I wanted them to love me the MOST. I wanted to be everybody's best friend.

I was, and still am, very sinful. My heart was so full of sin and pride... But at the time, I didn't realize the extent of it. Even now, I am still realizing every day exactly how sinful I really am, and it makes me all the more thankful for the mercy God poured out onto us. Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever realized how merciful our God truly is?

In Romans, Paul is urging us, but not telling us, to offer our bodies as living sacrifices to God. He is exhorting us to offer our lives to God. I was reading a commentary on this verse and it was explaining how the greek word for spiritual is logikos. But derived from logikos is also the English word logical - which is normally associated with the mind. The definition is a little confusing, but it makes sense when you put it into context. When it says "this is your spiritual act of worship," it makes sense for the word logikos to be inserted there. For it should be logical that since God has shown us mercy, we would offer our bodies as living sacrifices to him! He has freed us from our old masters... So now that we are free, why would we continue to serve our old masters?

Just as Galatians says, we have been given this new life to live where Christ lives in us! We are now in union with Christ - both actively and passively. Further on in Galatians (5:13-6:10), it speaks of both walking in the Spirit and being led by the Spirit. It is not only one or only the other, but it is both. Christ now lives in us, but we now also live by faith in the Son of God!

Amen to that! We have been freed from our old masters and are now able to serve our merciful God with our lives. We are able to walk in the Spirit and be led by the Spirit! I am truly so grateful that God has allowed my eyes to be opened to his great works. Every single time I heard the truth of how a God sent his one and only son to die on a cross for an undeserving human... I feel nothing but overwhelming thankfulness in my heart and the desire to give everything I am to my creator. How blessed are we, dear friends, to be able to serve such a wonderful God. I don't want to sit around and live for myself anymore!

Brothers and sisters, may we learn to love like our creator! May we learn to die to ourselves every single day and live for God! May we learn to love one another selflessly!

Much love. :)

-kjoosaurus out!

Memory of a goldfish [6/4/13]

Hi everybody! :) 

There has been a question in my mind for a few weeks now... And I really can't figure out the answer to this question! 

Is it summer yet? 

The weather has been up and down and all around and it seems as though I can no longer pinpoint what season it is. How confusing! But you know what's cool? Although our walk with God seems to be hectic at times, and there are periods of time when God feels more absent than others, he is always constant and he is always there. No matter what! 

In the past week and a bit that I haven't posted anything, a lot has happened and God has, as usual, been working and revealing new and old things to me! I no longer label my faith as a roller coaster ride, because thankfully, my faith has become more constant. The only roller coaster ride in my faith is how struggles come and go! But I try to welcome these struggles as I am able to participate in the sufferings of Christ and will be overjoyed when his glory is revealed! (1 Peter 4:13) The past couple of weeks have been a test of welcoming new struggles as they have been marked with different struggles where I was tempted let go of my trust in God and tried to deal with the problem myself. 

I love, love, love it when I am able to see what God has been doing my life. I love it when he reveals his plans to me and shows me what he has been teaching me and how he has been doing it! 

Today, I was spending some much needed time reading the word of God when I was lead to read Exodus 14-17. This specific part of Exodus is where the Israelites cross the Red Sea, and rejoice, then seem to forget what God has done for them when they complain for food and water. In Exodus 14:31 it says, "And when the Israelites saw the great power the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant." 

If I were them, I would be exactly the same! What other man or god could split the Red Sea in half and allow us to pass through with safety!? What else is capable of doing this impossible task? From my knowledge, the answer is nobody. There is no one else capable of such amazing works! None but our God! 

As I continued to read Exodus, I read Exodus 17:7 where it says, "And he called the place Massah and Meribah because the Israelites quarrelled and because they tested the Lord saying, "Is the Lord among us or not?" The meaning of Massah is testing and the meaning of Meribah is quarrelling and in my opinion, is that not slightly embarrassing for the Israelites that their lack of trust in God was so significant that they actually named the place after their doubt? 

From fear to testing - what a distinct contrast between Exodus 14 and Exodus 17! When I read this, I actually started chuckling a little bit. How inconsistent and foolish humans are. We say we fear the Lord one moment, and the next moment we test him? You would think that once you walked through a parted sea, you would always fear God and trust in him and his provision. But nope! We always end up doubting him and sometimes forgetting the amazing things he has done for us! 

As I read Exodus, God was gently telling me that I am no different from the Israelites. I as well have seen God do amazing things in my life, only to forget the next week and go back to my foolish ways of doubt. And I think this is the case for many people! If this is you, then you are not alone! We are often called to trust in God, in his provision and trust that his plan will be unraveled in his time, but we still end up worrying about whatever situation is causing us to struggle and we try to put things in our own control. 

So brothers and sisters, I want to encourage each and every one of you to remind yourselves of who our God is - how powerful, wonderful and caring he is. We should also encourage one another in these times (and all other times)! As I have had several different struggles entering my life recently, I was blessed to have brothers and sisters that continued to remind me to just trust in the Lord - be constant in prayer and thanksgiving to the Lord for what he does in my life. Praise the Lord!

May we trust in the Lord always! :) 

- kjoosaurus out!

Encouraging One Another [5/24/12]

Hello there!

Sorry I didn't post anything yesterday... Lately, I've been struggling with reading the word, and I've been putting it off for a long time, but last night, I finally decided to throw all laziness aside, and I spent some time with God. Of course, it was worth it! For the past few days, I've been staying home and watching movies and dramas. I've been doing absolutely nothing. I always had a feeling that I should be reading his word, but I just couldn't shake the laziness off!

So, yesterday, while I was spending some time with God, he told me a little something that I would love to share with you all today! As I was praying, God was reminding me of something I had heard a while ago. It's something many of us know, but fewer of us do. He told me we should be holding each other accountable and encouraging each other to spend time with God, and to keep up our relationship with him! This is something I had needed in the past week. I needed people to ask me how I was doing spiritually, I needed people to ask me about my relationship with God.

Hebrews 3:12-14

Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. 

Make sure that your own hearts

are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God.

You must warn each other every day, while it is still "today," so that

none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened

against God.

For if we are faithful to the end, 

trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, 

we will share in all that belongs to Christ. 

As my days without God went by, what I noticed was how I was slowly turning away from God. I had very few thoughts about him, and I was immersing myself into worldly things. I was becoming more and more obsessed with whatever drama or movie I was watching, and I chose to do worldly things instead of godly things. It is incredibly easy to fall into this trap! That's why the bible says, "You must warn each other every day." Do you guys see how important it is to keep God in our conversation and actions every single day? 

So... How should we go about doing this? Well, something I have personally decided to work on, is asking people how they're doing spiritually, or asking them how their relationship is going with God. Is it not important to check up with our brothers and sisters in Christ? I was trying to think of why I had never done this before, and I realized... It's because many people will act uncomfortable when we ask them this question. I never want to make people feel uncomfortable, so I think I've been avoiding this question. But, we need to be asking this question! We need to talk about God! 

Conversations about God should not only take place at church, or at bible studies. They should take place anywhere and everywhere! I hope you will begin to ask your brothers and sisters in Christ how they are doing spiritually. I'm going to do my best to talk about it too. Also, if anybody ever asks you, please don't say, "Oh, it's good." or "It's fine." Yes, it may be good, but we need to elaborate! Go in depth about it! Open up to others about your relationship with Christ! Tell your brothers and sisters in Christ what he is doing for you, so together we can grow! Honestly, I learn so much every time I have a christ based conversation with my brothers and sisters. So, what's stopping us!? Why aren't we talking about this with each other?! 

Another thing we should start doing, is meeting up with one another to read the bible together, to grow together and to pray together. I'm really eager to start doing this with my brothers and sisters in Christ! Just reading the word and praying together... How much growth and changes there will be in both of our lives! I'm not saying this should be a one time thing. Oh no, this should be continuous! We should do this as often as we can! For it says in Matthew 18:20:

For where two or three gather together 

as my followers, I am there among them.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. So, if two or three of us meet, and study the word and pray with one another, then that means Jesus is in that place with them! And if Jesus is there, then wonderful things MUST be happening! So, once again I say, why aren't we doing this!? Of course, we will always find excuses to why we aren't able to do this. We might say, "There's nobody interested" or "I don't have time." There are millions of excuses we could come up with, but none of them are good enough! There is not a single reason on earth that can justify not having fellowship! So, if you say you don't have time, well, make time! If you have time to be on Facebook, if you have time to watch tv, if you have time to sit there and do absolutely nothing, then you definitely have time to meet up with your brothers and sisters in Christ to read the word and pray together! 

Don't let laziness overcome you. Don't let it even take a part in your life! Don't let those lazy thoughts get into your head like they did in mine... I will pray for you! I will pray that we will all meet up together to learn more about God. That we will seek to do his will! That we will never ever turn away from him! So together, let us be faithful till the end! 

- kjoosaurus out!

God's will, not ours. [5/14/12]

Hello Hello!

kjoosaurus is back in business. I would like to thank all the mysterious authors who have been posting for me while I was in Korea. I think they did a fantastic job, and I hope God revealed things to them as they wrote :) My trip to Korea was a whole lot of fun! I went to learn Korean, and that didn't work out very well, but I had a very good time while I was there! The only thing I was shocked about was the vanity and materialism that consumes the country... But that is a story for another day!

Today, I would like to talk about something God has been teaching and showing me.

Hmmm. Where should I start. Okay, so I became friends with this one person a few years ago, called R (I'm using this since mysterious single-lettered names seem to have become a trend on this blog), and the two of us became very, very close. The only thing is, R is not a believer.

I didn't really care about R not being a believer because I was not at all focused on God at that time of my life. So, we had a very ungodly relationship, and other than coming to church with me sometimes, R had no experiences with God. But, as you know, I became very close to Christ while I was in Ottawa, and I actually came to realize how R was distracting me very much from building a relationship with Christ. So, at that time, I stopped talking to R very much, and I continued to build an amazing relationship with Christ.

Well, everything was going quite fine and dandy... Until I got home. R knew I was home, so R made a couple of visits to my home and things went downhill from there. You see, R is a very lonely person, and it hurt me to see my close friend be so alone. I wanted to be close with R again, but one thing R made very clear to me, was that there was no religion and no God to be a part of our relationship. R has never wanted to hear anything about God, but in the time we've been apart... This has become worse. Every time I mention anything about my wonderful God, R tunes out. So, just to please R, I stopped directly talking about God. Instead, I tried more subtle tactics (I am absolutely terrible at being subtle.) I prayed for R, and I tried to make R have a different perspective about God.

But, do you notice how I keep saying I? It was ME trying to do all the work. I was not at all letting God do the work. I was relying on my own power and knowledge to bring this dear friend to Christ.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.

You see, because of my desperation to help R find Christ, I forgot something very important. I forgot to trust God, and allow God to do all of the work with His power. I often find myself doing these things... It brings me so much sadness to see R be living life without Christ. To see somebody I love so much be living in such loneliness, and so much pain... It brings me quite a bit of heartache. But! I know God is working, and I'm most likely a distraction to R. God doesn't want me to try to take control... He doesn't want me to try to do any of the work. He wants me to hand R over to Him, and in time, R will be able to know the glory and mercy of God as well.

This isn't the only time I have tried to rely on my own knowledge and power. I often forget to rely solely on God. God has the most knowledge, and the most power. He knows exactly what is going on, and exactly what is going to happen. He just wants us to put our matters into His hands, and He will deal with them in His time. We just need to learn to let go of our habit of controlling things. It's definitely hard, but God hears our prayers. He's not sitting in Heaven with His ears plugged! He's listening to us, and he's always going to answer us! May we learn to trust the Lord, and not lean on our own understanding. :)

Thanks for reading my post tonight! I hope you are all doing well! God bless!

Here's the song I listened to while writing this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp5PZuuB3Pg

Also, I wanted to share the video of my baptism with you all! Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2ZAgSYH8oI

- kjoosaurus out! :) 

Spiritual Struggles [5/6/12]

Greetings all!

So today, I have very good news, and not so very good news.

This afternoon, I was finally baptized! Today, I publicly proclaimed my love for the Lord. I spoke of my struggles, and how God has been helping me overcome them. Together, with the church, we rejoiced! We sang out to our God, and we cried out words of praise to Him! It was a blessing to be baptized amongst such beautiful people. I will forever remember this glorious day.

Unfortunately, the devil hates this day.

He saw the group of us shouting out our love for the Lord, and he despised it. There is nothing more he would like to see than to see us fall, and go back on the words we declared. Although it has only been 10 hours since I was baptized, he has already attacked me.

For some reason, I felt lonely tonight. I kind of wanted to read the Word, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So, I began to do other things. I watched a drama, and I tried to write this blog. But, for some reason, the right words just wouldn't come to my mind. I was originally going to write this post about baptism, but God wanted me to write about something else instead. Tonight, He showed me how weak I am without Him.

One thing about me is that I'm very emotional. My actions rely greatly on my emotions, and many times, my common sense is clouded by my emotions. Therefore, if my emotions are played with, things tend to become disastrous. Tonight, the devil really played on my jealousy and my need for physical touch. I don't want to go into detail about what happened, but as always, I want to be honest. The devil tempted me, and I fell for it.

He brought up my darkest, and most human, desires and he toyed with my emotions. I felt like the devil had really used me. I felt so weak, so worthless... This is the first time I have cried in months. (That's a very long time for me.) How could it be that hours after being baptized, I had already fallen? I talked to my Mom about this for a very long time. Why am I so weak? Why did God let me fall so soon? If I'm falling for the devil's tricks now, then how will I ever survive?

But, what God wanted me to do, was rely on Him.

I had been too confident. I didn't think the devil would ever attack me in this way or so soon. At the moment, all intentions had seemed so innocent. But, as I look back now, I see how every step was an obvious trick of the devil. He's trying to take me away from God again. He wants me to fall. He wants to see me stumble, and distance myself from God, but I'm not going to let this happen.

This is the first time I've fallen since I was baptized, but God is already picking me up so I can get back on my feet. Tonight, He showed me that I am very, very weak without Him. I was letting myself be over-confident. I was thinking I was strong, but this was slowly making me become independent from God, and dependent on myself.

1 Chronicles 16:11  Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!

I had already forgotten to do this. I had been relying on my own strength, and because of this, I immediately became vulnerable. Right now, God is teaching me just how much I need to rely on Him. With Him, I can move mountains, without Him, I can do nothing! 

Please pray for me. Pray that I may continue to seek his strength. Even now, I know I am still weak. I know I am still vulnerable, and I know the devil is going to keep coming at me. But, I also know that no matter how much the devil tries to attack me, God will always triumph in the end. He is watching over us, and He is caring for us! 

I pray for strength, wisdom, and discretion. 

Thank you for reading my post tonight. God really wanted me to share about this with you all. I hope you will all seek his strength so that when temptations and struggles come, you will be able to cast them away in the name of God! God bless you all :) 

- kjoosaurus out!

My Testimony [5/5/12]

Hello Hello!

Tomorrow, I will finally be getting baptized! Well, I guess it's today now... But I'm sure you all know what I mean. At my church, we do a water baptism, so every person who gets baptized has to write a short testimony. I've been working on my testimony for a few hours... I wish I could put in every single detail of what the Lord has done in my life, but I could only put in the most important things. It's still very, very long though. 

Our God is an awesome God. He's a wonderful God. Full of wonders. Well, tonight, I thought I would share my testimony with you. God changed me from a human filled with hate, to a child of God filled with love. He is so great! 

My name is Kristen Joo, I am 19 years old, and a child of God.

Although I have no single, crazy event that led me to be saved, I had a series of events and multiple people that God used to bring me closer to Him, and the way he planned my life, and the way it perfectly unravelled, is just so wonderful and beautiful.

I was born and raised in a Christian family. Since I can remember, I have been going to church every single Sunday. I absolutely wasn’t allowed to skip church, and there was no arguing with that! So, every Sunday, I would go to church, and although I would be physically present, my mind would be worlds away. I would listen to story after story about this figure named God, but… I never got to know Him… I just attended church on Sunday, and then I went back to my old self for the rest of the week.

To be completely honest, I can’t remember when I was saved. There were so many times when I was on a spiritual high, but each lasted only a few weeks. So, I continued to live in a tug of war life with God. He would pull me closer to Him, and I would pull away. Closer, away. Closer, and away again.

But one thing I realized.. Is that he never lets us go. Once we are His, we are always His.

My initial goal for university was to move to Toronto so that I could be with my cousins. I applied at a couple schools around that area, but God had very different plans in mind. All of my plans to move to Toronto were thrown away, and I somehow ended up in Ottawa. I was upset at first, but I got over it quickly, because all I really wanted was to move away from home.

Once I arrived in Ottawa, I was finally free. I could do anything I wanted to do. I stayed up until 5 in the morning, I didn’t clean my room, I ate all the junk food I wanted, and the whole time, I had no parents nagging me! I also decided that I wasn’t going to go to church anymore. This new freedom that I had meant I could sleep in until 2 on Sundays; I could stay up late on Saturday night, and know I would have the next day to sleep. So, I stopped going to church...

But, my Mom started calling me. Every time she called me, she asked me, “Kristen, have you gone to church yet?” Every time, I would say, “No, I haven’t found one.” So, being the efficient mother she is, she found a church for me. But.. It was a Korean church. Because I can’t speak Korean, I’ve always had a very difficult time with Korean people. They see my face, and they immediately have expectations that I can not meet. Therefore, I avoided them at all costs. I tried a church, but it didn’t work out. So, to get my Mom to stop nagging me, I dragged myself to this dreaded Korean church.

God definitely wanted me to be there, because the first Sunday I attended was spectacular! I was so warmly welcomed by the people, and everybody spoke to me in English!! It was awesome!!  Before I knew it, I had built wonderful, Christ-based relationships. God began to use me, and change me. He changed me, and he continues to change me so much! There are many ways where God has changed me, but there is one huge area that He has changed. He really began to teach me how to love others.

Before I went away to university, I was filled with so much hate… I hated everything. I hated anybody that corrected me, I hated anybody that hated me, I hated anybody that was too nice to me. I just hated everything. This hate really showed in my actions… I treated my family terribly. I treated my friends without the care they deserved. I hurt people in ways so bad, I can’t bear to think about it now. My words were used as a sword to stab, and discourage. The purpose of my words was to bring people down… The fact that I struggled with pride didn’t help either. I wanted people to see me as above others. In ways, I was trying to glorify myself.

I think this may have been why I couldn’t get closer to God… I felt so, so guilty for how I had treated his beautiful creations. These were His own children that I was discouraging and hating! I had caused so much hurt and pain in these people… How could He bear to love me too?

But, for some reason, God kept loving me. I was constantly reminded of His love for us. There were verses all over the place about his love. There were people all over the place reminding me of how great his love is. God’s love was literally surrounding me! 

This verse is the only verse I have ever memorized. It has been on my heart for several years… It has never left me, and for some reason, I always catch myself saying it in my head.  

John 3:16  “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” 

Although these words were always on my heart, I never really thought about what they meant. But, as this past school year went by, God has been showing me more, and more. He has been opening my eyes and my heart. I finally realized what He had done for me! Even now, after I’ve realized it, I’m still mind-blown. He loved me THAT MUCH? Who am I to deserve this love? I am a sinner. I am unworthy, I am worthless, I am nothing. My world was filled with hate, pride, and jealousy… But, He still showed me His grace. He forgave me for ALL of my sins. ALL OF THEM! I still cannot believe it. Every single dirty, disgusting, revolting sin has been forgiven by the grace of God.

When I discovered this unimaginable love God has for us, a passion began to stir inside my heart. I want to become like Him. I want to be a reflection of Him! When I look into the mirror, I don’t want to see myself; I want to see Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour! As I have been getting closer and closer to Him, He has truly been changing and moulding me. I pray He will make me a humble servant, so that I may do His will. I pray He will help me give up my whole life for Him! I pray He will continue change me, so that I may love like He does. 

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

Today, I am proclaiming my love for Jesus! I am committing the rest of my life to do the work of the Lord!

Your Kingdom come,

Your will be done

On earth as it is in Heaven. 

- kjoosaurus out! 

Living Sacrifice [5/4/12]

If God asked you this question: "Will you sacrifice all you have for me?" How would you react?

If God asked you to give up your career for Him, if God asked you to give up all of your worldly possessions for Him, if God asked you to give up everything for Him. Would you do it without hesitation?

You know, one day, God might ask us this exact question. He might ask you to give up the job you worked so hard to get. He might ask you to let go of every single penny you have. We hold on so tightly to these worldly things, but what good is it doing for us? Why am I holding on to the things the world is giving me, when God is promising so much more?

Romans 12:1
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

A true and proper worship? God wants me to offer Him everything I have, and this will please Him. Everything I now hold in my hands, I should give to God. My whole life should be offered to Him. It's hard, isn't it? As soon as we were brought into this world, we were sinners. Our desires were of the flesh, and we craved and desired the things of this world. Oh, how unrighteous we are!

As we look at the people around us, what do you think they are all looking for? These goals we set for ourselves, what is the final purpose? The final purpose is happiness and fulfillment. People want to believe they have done something with their lives; they believe they will be happy. They think they will be happy once they have all of the money in the world. But, they're always wanting more. Humans are always craving more and more and more to fill the emptiness inside. We try to fill this emptiness with worldly things. Money, clothes, sex, food, idols, music, movies, etc. But, there is only one thing to fill this emptiness. It's our Lord and Savior!

Thinking about how He is the only one who can save us, and the only one who can fill this emptiness inside... It makes it a bit easier for me to sacrifice everything I am to Him. We don't need anything from this world, because He is providing for us. All we need is Him, so why do we allow ourselves to be distracted by the things of this world?

Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.


If we give up everything to Him, He will change us. He will fill us with His desires, and He will turn us into His image! The closer we get to Him, the more righteous we become! What He hates, we will hate. What He loves, we will love. He is going to mold us until we are no longer an image of the world, but an image of Him. All we have to do is let Him!

If God ever asks us to give up all we have for Him, I hope we will be eager to do it! The things of this world are worth nothing compared to what God has in store for us. :)

Thank you for reading this post! Here is the song I listened today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNjKLz380j8

- kjoosaurus out!

Loving the World [4/26/12]

Hello!

Lately, I've been wondering a lot about how attached I am to this world, and how much effort I put into worldly things. I've been asking myself questions like "Would I want to win the lottery?" or "Why do I claim to love materialistic things?" I know it sounds like a silly question to be asking, but I continue to ask myself these questions because I have come to realize how easily I fall for materialistic and worldly things. They are so distracting, and they are EVERYWHERE. They are tempting, and they are tricky. I used to often find myself being taken away from God because of the worldly things that surrounded me. 

I've been distracted by clothes, television, media, money, music, and so much more. I tell people "I love my iPod." Or, "I love this shirt." I could go on, and on, and on about how much I love these worldly things, but this must sound so sad to God! When I see other people with expensive and fancy things, I find myself wanting them. I catch myself thinking about how much I want these items. I want the latest gadget, and I want the newest style of clothes. Yes, these things seem cool, and they can be of use, but why do I obsess over them? How could I ever claim to "love" these things?

1 John 3:15
"Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you."

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has caught myself loving things from this world. I'm sure we have all caught ourselves obsessing over material things. If you've ever lost a great deal of money, or broken something valuable, I'm sure you've felt sadness and sometimes anger. But, this love we have for material things shouldn't be there. It distracts us from loving our God, and it prevents us from loving him to the fullest we could! Why do we love these things that are worth nothing...? They are temporary things. When we are finally with our Father, they will mean absolutely nothing to us! So, why do they mean so much now? 

Let's fill ourselves with love for God; let there be no room for us to love worldly things. This is extremely hard, but day by day, the amount of love we have for God will grow. We must pray that he fills us with his love! We will be with Him for all of eternity!

Thank you for reading my blog tonight! 

-kjoosaurus out!

Faith & Action [4/25/12]

Greetings!

I hope everybody is doing well; I'm super excited because I finally moved out of residence! It will hopefully be my last year in residence, unless I decide I can't handle living off-campus. I guess I will have to learn to cook too! I can't wait to see what the next year holds in store for me!

So, today, I wanted to talk about something I only recently discovered. This may be old news for many of you, but I still wanted to share it. I am constantly surprised at how many things I am learning about Christianity. I was raised in a Christian family, so I felt like I knew so much, yet I now realize I knew so little. Only recently, I realized a crucial piece of information that I did not take note of. This piece of information changed a lot for me, and it has given me a lot to think about.

For years, and years, and years, I thought I was a Christian. I thought I was saved because I had said the sinner's prayer. I said it one night, and immediately afterwards, I went back to my usual life. Afterwards, I rarely thought about God, and I lived every single day without his will in mind. My actions were selfish actions, and my thoughts were selfish thoughts. I truly believed in God, but I didn't have any sort of relationship with him. I did not seek to do his will, and I honestly didn't care. It wasn't until I began to make friends who encouraged me to build a relationship with Him that I began to learn more about the difference between faith and good actions.

James 2:17

So you see, faith by itself isn't enough. 

Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.

This verse really struck me. As I was discussing this verse with a friend, I began to realize how many people there are who believe in God, and even believe they have been saved. They say they have faith. They say they are saved, but are they really? There are many who believe in God. There are many who acknowledge his existence, but this does not mean we are saved! If we begin to seek God's will, we begin to do actions that are in His name. But, if you do not see a change in your daily life, then how can you say you are saved?

Our faith works together with our actions. We cannot have one, and not the other. Another serious issue that has been seen amongst people, is the issue of those who believe they are saved because they are doing actions. There are many who believe that the more good deeds they do, the bigger chance they will have in getting to Heaven. They donate money, they are kind to people, and from a worldly perspective, they are "good." But, doing only actions will not save you! Faith and good deeds go hand-in-hand. They go together! With faith, comes good deeds. God does not accept things we believe to be good deeds; we are doing these deeds for ourselves, and not for anybody else. Just because we think they are good deeds, does not mean God thinks they are.

Please don't fall into this trap... I fell into it. I believed I was saved, because I believed in the existence of God. I believed I was saved because I went to church once a week, but I was so wrong. I was tricked, and I fell for the trick. I pray that none of you will fall for this just as I did. Jesus is the only way!

Thank you for reading my blog tonight, I really enjoy writing this for you all! It gives me time to reflect on my walk with God, and I hope it gives you a chance to reflect as well. :) I didn't listen to a song tonight, because I had a lovely friend sing for me while I wrote this blog, but there will be another song up tomorrow!

- kjoosaurus out!

Peace and Comfort [4/24/12]

Hellooo there!

Exams are finally done! I'm pretty sure I passed all of my exams - yay! I hope everybody has been doing well; I hope all the students who are done exams are now filled with a sense of relief. I know I am! Yet, I still manage to procrastinate... I'm currently procrastinating packing. It's weird how I started packing at 2pm, and I still haven't finished. Oh well! I'll finish packing eventually!

Like I continue to repeat, over and over again, the relationships I've built in Ottawa have been beautiful, precious, and blessed! The majority of my relationships have been based on Christ, and this makes them so much deeper and much more meaningful. I have grown to love so many people; God used so many people to guide me and encourage me! The times spent together have been so memorable, fun and enjoyable! Honestly, I love spending time with all of these people so much; I always enjoy myself when I'm around my friends, and I cherish these moments together.

God has blessed me with such amazing people; He has put them in my life, and He has used every single one of them to guide, mold and encourage me! They have become such an important part of my life, but I am being separated with some for an indefinite amount of time... This means, I will no longer see them every day or every week, and I will no longer be able to have the same amount of face-to-face interaction that we have now. There are others that I will not be seeing for four months; although the time is short, it still makes me really sad... I think one of the hardest parts is knowing that I am really bad at keeping in touch with people through technology. I'm scared that relationships will be different when I come back to Ottawa in September; I'm scared that things will change.

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. 

Not as the world gives do I give to you. 

Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Although I held these feelings of fear and sadness inside of my heart, I turned to God, and told him of these emotions I was experiencing. Through Him, I found peace and comforting. If we turn to Him when we are experiencing troubles or sorrows, he will never disappoint! He will bring peace to our hearts, and we have no need to be afraid! I'm sure there are times when you struggle, and when you feel as if you are in the worst situation possible, but stop worrying! Stop letting things bring you down! Bring all of your troubles, sorrows, and problems to God. He is waiting for you to turn to Him!

God loves us. He is never ever going to abandon us. I am going to repeat this over, and over, and over again until each and every person on this earth understands and remembers this! Jesus died on the cross for us, our sins have been forgiven. We have been blessed, and we are loved! We have been put on this earth to serve Him! So when you are feeling down, discouraged or afraid, don't be scared to pour your heart out to Him. He is waiting for you. Let Him know your sorrows, and He will take these troubles off of your heart! He will give you peace. He will comfort you!

Our God is an awesome God! He loves us so, so much. Let's praise Him and continue to do His will, and His will only!

Thank you very much for reading my blog! :) Here's the song I listened to today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx2-Inc8TkA

- kjoosaurus out!

Lord Above All [4/21/12]

Hey guys!

kjoosaurus is back :) I hope you all enjoyed reading the prayer written out yesterday... I know I thoroughly enjoyed it. It so beautifully expressed how unrighteous I feel in front of my God, while also reminding me of how He loves us so dearly. It takes a lot to be able to admit to being a sinner; the pride of man stands in our way. It is an obstacle we face, and it is an obstacle we must overcome! We are only human. Our God is above us all.

This is something I wanted to talk about today... For many, pride is something that is hard to overcome. We naturally do not want to admit we are wrong, or that we have done wrong. We do not want to openly admit to being a sinner. We want to keep secret those mistakes we have made, or the many faults we possess. This is completely normal as a human. I personally struggled a great deal with it, and it was a huge obstacle in developing my relationship with God.

I find the idea of pride very interesting. People hold themselves up so highly. I think of nations, celebrities, world leaders, etc. They are in a position where people might even worship them. They put themselves in the spotlight, and bask in their fame and power. Although it is bad that they are glorifying themselves, we must be careful as well. There are many times when we are glorifying these famous people as well. We look up to them, and to some extreme cases, we worship them. I know this is weird, but the first example that comes to my mind is Justin Bieber. He has fans out there, that worship him. So many of his fans would do anything for him. They cry when they see him, they know everything about him, they seek him, they crave him, they worship him. This obsession they have with him makes me feel sad. We should be seeking our God, craving our God, worshiping our God.

¹⁹ Arise, LORD, do not let mortals triumph;
   let the nations be judged in your presence.
²⁰ Strike them with terror, LORD;
   let the nations know they are only mortal. 

This verse is crucial to remember. We are only mortal. There is absolutely nothing above our God! There is no celebrity, leader, or nation on this earth above him. He is the almighty, all powerful God. We must never forget this. Yes, there will be times when we may start to get sucked into all the worldly things around us, but we must not fall for it! Stand strong against all temptations and distractions. Remember that there is nothing and nobody above our God!

I am only mortal. But with God, I have eternal life. I live to serve Him, I live to do His will. I thrive to love like Him, to worship Him, and to be with Him. He has given us the greatest gift of all, and we are so much more than fortunate for it! I pray that all nations will bow down before Him, for He is the almighty God!

Thank you so much for reading my blog today! I appreciate it so much that you would all take some time out of your day to read my blog. It means so much to me. :) 

Here's the song I listened to while writing this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d61LamkXfwk

-kjoosaurus out! 

Purpose [4/18/12]

Hello to all you beautiful people!

Isn't it crazy how quickly time flies? I can so clearly remember my first day in Ottawa... I can remember how my hair became a huge frizz ball because of the difference in the weather from Vancouver, I remember moving into my room and waiting in anticipation of seeing my roommate for the first time, I remember waiting in line to figure out which room I would be in. But, that was eight months ago! Eight whole months have gone by since I moved to Ottawa, and in that time, I've changed so much as a person. I've learned so much, and my eyes have been opened to so many new things.

One thing that has changed in my life, is the purpose of my life. Before I came to know Christ, I don't think I had much of a purpose... My goals were steered towards education, a successful career, and a comfortable lifestyle. This was everything I was striving for; I wanted to be well-off, but then as I came to know Christ, I began to question this. What would happen if I DID become well-off and fulfill all of my "goals"? I would just breathe, work, live, and then what? Once I completed everything I wanted, what would be the purpose? Well, now that I think of it, there would be none. Those were such shallow, worldly, and selfish goals. All I wanted was for ME to live comfortably, or for ME to be happy... But I didn't think beyond that.

When I came to know Christ, I became passionate about so much more. I now want to serve him! I want to get to know him! I want to be with him! Things have drastically changed; my life is full of meaning because of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Although I have discovered these things, there are still certain aspects I struggle with.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Like I was talking about yesterday, God has plans for us, and we don't know what they are. We know they are for good, but we still don't know what they are. The part I struggle with, is when I can't see God using me. I so badly want to serve him, and have him use me to do his work, but there are times when I feel so USELESS. Even recently, I've been in situations where I just wish God would put the right words in my mouth, I pray that he would fill me with wisdom and knowledge to be able to reach out to other people, but I don't see it happening.

The most recent situation was where a friend of mine was feeling down. I wanted to help so badly, but I just didn't know what to say. I was praying that the Holy Spirit would work through me to reach out to this friend. I wanted to be the person God used to guide them, but this didn't happen. I went home feeling sad, and useless. I kept thinking and thinking. I wondered to myself, "When is God ever going to use me?" I was sitting there, and I was ready. I was ready for him to take control and use me to do his work. But, I wasn't seeing anything.

I kept wondering about this, and wondering why God wasn't using me. The more I thought about it, the more I didn't understand. But then, He revealed something to me. He showed me how although I was wanting to help a friend, my desires were actually selfish. The reason why is because I was seeking attention. I wanted people to compliment me for being such a good friend; I wanted people to consider me somebody with extremely wise words. I wasn't seeking God's glory, but my own. As God revealed this to me, I became so ashamed and embarrassed. I even hesitated to write about this on my blog, but I wanted to be honest. I have often struggled with my pride. Ever since I was young, I would seek compliments and attention from my peers. I would like to think I have become more humble, but I know I'm still struggling with my pride.

Proverbs 11:2 says, "Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."

I'm praying and praying that the Lord would help me become humble. Being prideful is such an unattractive quality, and the Lord crowns the humble with salvation! I praise the Lord for bringing me to where I am now! In the short time I have gotten to know him, I realize he has taught me so much... He has guided me through everything and he is moulding me right now! As he moulds me, he is unraveling his plan for me. We all have such amazing purposes! We are all of use to God, but we must be patient. Just because we can't see what he's doing, doesn't mean he isn't doing anything! I praise God for giving me such a phenomenal purpose in my life. He has given my life so much meaning!

Thanks for reading my blog!! Here's the song I listened to while writing this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdq9Q8wJdjc

-kjoosaurus out!