I have fallen helplessly in love.
In love with the one who cares for me.
In love with the one who pursues me.
In love with the one who comforts me.
In love with the one who loved me first.
In January and half of February, I had become very busy with
school, church, work and meeting people. I’m not sure if it’s normal or if it’s
because I have a weak body, but by mid-February, I was emotionally and
physically exhausted. I was at a point where I was so tired but incapable of
falling asleep at night because of all the thoughts of different things
happening in my life. On top of all this, I was supposed to leave for Toronto to
spend another week filled with plans! Just the thought of it made my body feel
weak.
I was to leave for Toronto on Friday February 14th,
but as I was flying standby, I wasn’t completely sure I would make it. I was at
the gate at the airport when the desk agent told me I wouldn’t make it on the
plane because it was full but that I could wait until the end of boarding just
in case. Oh brother, I just wanted to leave so I could hop into bed and sleep
for days… But I waited anyways.
Everybody had already boarded the plane and I was getting
ready to leave when the lady called the entire standby up to the desk. We went
up, expecting to be told we would have to go home tonight. Instead, she handed
each of us a ticket. It turns out a party of three had checked into the airport
but weren’t able to make it through security. I did feel bad for them… But I
got on the plane! This has never happened to me in all of my years of flying
standby. It was a miracle.
Finally, I arrived at the Toronto airport, but still had a
long way to go. I had to take a couple of different busses before I would
arrive at my final destination. The bus came once every hour, and I missed the
bus by five minutes. Frustrated
again, I called my Mom because I hadn’t had a chance to tell her I actually got
on the plane. Of course she was shocked, but in a hurry she told me to hang up
the phone and call my Dad. It turns out that he had arrived at the airport
minutes after I did because the flight he was supposed to get on had been
delayed by several hours! Lucky me. I got to see my Dad that night and his
friend also gave me a ride instead of me having to bus. Imagine if I hadn’t
missed that bus by 5 minutes!
This is how my trip began. In every moment, I felt as if God
was watching over me and giving me opportunities to rest since he knew how
tired I was. How thankful I was!
I was able to spend my Saturday at home with my cousins. I
can’t remember what we did that day, but I’m pretty sure the majority of it was
spent sleeping. Oh, and I wrote a song about how much I love Jesus. Heehee.
Then, on Sunday, it began. I started to feel sickness creeping
into my body. It began with constant sneezing and sniffling. Then a headache. On
Monday, it was exhaustion, a fever and nausea. Not just me, but my cousins as
well! For two days, we just slept, woke up for an hour or so, and then slept
again.
I’m sure most people would say, “Wow, that really sucks.
Going to Toronto and being sick for the whole trip.” But I meant it when I say
this. It was an amazing trip. I did feel terrible for having to cancel plans,
but my body had been pleading for rest! After so long without proper sleep and
rest, my body was ready for recovery. My sickness lasted until last night when
my headache, nausea and fatigue finally left me. But I found that it was a
blessing in disguise. Forced rest haha. I felt as if God was saying to me, “My
daughter, lay down your head and rest. I am here with you.”
He not only showed me love through his silent whispers, but
also through the people who took care of me. My cousins, aunt and uncle were so
hospitable, so loving and so caring. The night when our fevers were the
highest, I remember my aunt and uncle checking up on me every few hours to
check my temperature and give me medication. I would check the time. 11pm, 2am,
5am. Then even in Ottawa, my beloved friends would check up on me to make sure
I was okay. They would offer to be there if I ever needed anything. And
although I was much better, it was still a comfort to know they were there.
Through all of these little moments and what seemed to be
small acts of love, I saw God’s love and hand working in every moment and to
conclude my whole week, I read the perfect chapter of a book called “Just Like
Jesus” by Max Lucado.
It spoke of a constant communion with God - an awareness of
his presence. For God is always with us. There are moments when he feels
further away, but the reality of it is that he is never far from us. Everything
we do, he is doing it with us. He never leaves us.
As I was reminded of this and challenged to partake in
unceasing communion with him, I felt joy. Joy knowing that I am able to be able
to have this intimate relationship with my creator.
So this is where I am now. I want to put 1 Thessalonians
5:17 into action. I want to “pray without ceasing” and aim to engage in
constant communion with my Father who loves me. I hope to blog about some of
the special moments and journeys we go through together, and I hope that you
will join me in this. J
With love,
Kristen
