Memory of a goldfish [6/4/13]

Hi everybody! :) 

There has been a question in my mind for a few weeks now... And I really can't figure out the answer to this question! 

Is it summer yet? 

The weather has been up and down and all around and it seems as though I can no longer pinpoint what season it is. How confusing! But you know what's cool? Although our walk with God seems to be hectic at times, and there are periods of time when God feels more absent than others, he is always constant and he is always there. No matter what! 

In the past week and a bit that I haven't posted anything, a lot has happened and God has, as usual, been working and revealing new and old things to me! I no longer label my faith as a roller coaster ride, because thankfully, my faith has become more constant. The only roller coaster ride in my faith is how struggles come and go! But I try to welcome these struggles as I am able to participate in the sufferings of Christ and will be overjoyed when his glory is revealed! (1 Peter 4:13) The past couple of weeks have been a test of welcoming new struggles as they have been marked with different struggles where I was tempted let go of my trust in God and tried to deal with the problem myself. 

I love, love, love it when I am able to see what God has been doing my life. I love it when he reveals his plans to me and shows me what he has been teaching me and how he has been doing it! 

Today, I was spending some much needed time reading the word of God when I was lead to read Exodus 14-17. This specific part of Exodus is where the Israelites cross the Red Sea, and rejoice, then seem to forget what God has done for them when they complain for food and water. In Exodus 14:31 it says, "And when the Israelites saw the great power the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant." 

If I were them, I would be exactly the same! What other man or god could split the Red Sea in half and allow us to pass through with safety!? What else is capable of doing this impossible task? From my knowledge, the answer is nobody. There is no one else capable of such amazing works! None but our God! 

As I continued to read Exodus, I read Exodus 17:7 where it says, "And he called the place Massah and Meribah because the Israelites quarrelled and because they tested the Lord saying, "Is the Lord among us or not?" The meaning of Massah is testing and the meaning of Meribah is quarrelling and in my opinion, is that not slightly embarrassing for the Israelites that their lack of trust in God was so significant that they actually named the place after their doubt? 

From fear to testing - what a distinct contrast between Exodus 14 and Exodus 17! When I read this, I actually started chuckling a little bit. How inconsistent and foolish humans are. We say we fear the Lord one moment, and the next moment we test him? You would think that once you walked through a parted sea, you would always fear God and trust in him and his provision. But nope! We always end up doubting him and sometimes forgetting the amazing things he has done for us! 

As I read Exodus, God was gently telling me that I am no different from the Israelites. I as well have seen God do amazing things in my life, only to forget the next week and go back to my foolish ways of doubt. And I think this is the case for many people! If this is you, then you are not alone! We are often called to trust in God, in his provision and trust that his plan will be unraveled in his time, but we still end up worrying about whatever situation is causing us to struggle and we try to put things in our own control. 

So brothers and sisters, I want to encourage each and every one of you to remind yourselves of who our God is - how powerful, wonderful and caring he is. We should also encourage one another in these times (and all other times)! As I have had several different struggles entering my life recently, I was blessed to have brothers and sisters that continued to remind me to just trust in the Lord - be constant in prayer and thanksgiving to the Lord for what he does in my life. Praise the Lord!

May we trust in the Lord always! :) 

- kjoosaurus out!

Where are we going now? [04/06/13]

Hello brothers and sisters!

My, oh my it has been a long time, hasn't it? It's been about a couple of months since the last time I was able to write anything, but I can assure you that the time was well spent doing things of worth rather than spending my time being unproductive.

Quick summary of our time apart:
- I actually a lot study now (I know, I'm surprised too)
- God has been working on my character! In ways I see, yet still do not fully understand.
- I am temporarily employed! (Temporary because I'm still looking for a job with better hours)

This summary doesn't really cover all the bases of what has been going on in the past while - I've been meaning to blog as I was always inspired by the works of God seen in my life, but for some reason, the opportunity was never taken.

I wish I could tell you about everything that has been happening in my life, but I would be writing forever and ever. I'll try my best to organize my thoughts in a way that is clear, concise and understandable. Okay, here we go!

The past 60 days were filled with disappointment, struggles, joy, love and a lot of eye opening. I've never been a deep thinker. Life to me is black and white. It's filled with lines where the in-between is illegible to me. When I'm forced to think too deeply and it gets hard, I easily give up. But God has been changing this in my once simple life.

Simply put, I have learned a bit more of three things:
1. Satan's lies
2. My true character
3. God's character

Satan's lies... They surround us in this world as it is a world where Satan is deemed as King: he promises comfort, satisfaction and pleasure. If we are to succumb to the pressures of this world, then we will be forever happy as we drown in endless amounts of money, food, gadgets and fun. He plays with the fleshly desires that we as humans are faulted with. He lies to us and tells us one of two things: God is bad or sin is better.

His lies, they are so simple - why do we fall for them over and over again?

We are sheep. We are lost without our shepherd who will love us and find us when we are lost, but praise the Lord for we are able to recognize his voice and learn to stop being deceived by the multitude of voices that claim to lead the way for us. In John 10, Christ explains so well how his sheep will recognize his voice and follow him through the gate. He paints an image of protection as he describes to what extent he will go just to protect his sheep. I want to be the sheep that is able to recognize the voice of the shepherd - the sheep who will diligently be lead by the shepherd.

As I became more aware of the lies Satan has been deceiving me with, God also guided me in becoming more aware of my true character. As I learn more about the different lies I have believed, I've realized how much the Lord has done in my life and also how much further I have to go!

I've been cowardly in my way of living. All my life, I have never been able to hold my ground when it came to any opinions I held. In arguments, I would always give in. Even in essays I wrote, I would always receive the same comments: Your arguments are valid, but you need to stick firmly to your opinion.

I was recently listening to a sermon when I came across this phrase: Nail one's colors to the mast.

I didn't understand at all what this meant, so I looked it up on the ever so useful Google and found a definition that convicted me of how I have lived my life so far.

In the 17th century, flags were lowered as a mark of submission. It is believed the phrase "nail one's colors to the mast" came from a battle where the English fleet was at the point where the main ship had been brought down and to the rest of the fleet, it may have appeared to be defeat, but the admiral climbed to what was left of the mast and nailed the flag at the top where it was visible to the rest of the fleet. This act of perseverance resulted in the English fleet being victorious.

To be able to stand so firmly in a seemingly lost battle. That is what it means to nail one's colors to the mast.

I am not a persistent person by nature, but with God, all things are possible. He gives us the strength to persist in battles that are lost. When people aren't responding to the gospel that is preached, when trials and tribulations are the persistent ones in the picture, when it seems as if you are alone in a dark world. That is when it is crucial to nail your colors to the mast. For God will be VICTORIOUS.

This finally leads us to God's character. He's such a mysterious God who works in such mysterious ways. The God of all gods, King of all kings, Lord of all lords. We so often hear people preach about the beautiful and wonderful things he has done in our lives. "God loves you so much. God wants you so much. God is love." These things are so true! The bible even says that "God is love." (1 John 4:8) I was raised on this teaching. I was raised to believe that God is a warm, loving, fuzzy wuzzy God who just wants me to lean on him when I'm having a hard time. But, I never took the time to think about the full character of God.

Yes, he is a God who loves us oh so dearly, and a God we must love! But, he is also a God we must fear. This is what I have only recently been applying to my life. A God whom I must fear. How often do I think about how powerful God is? The answer is, rarely. I often forget that this is the God who simply spoke the universe into existence. SPOKE. THE WORLD. INTO EXISTENCE. Astronomers estimate the universe to consist of over 100 billion galaxies and our God spoke it into existence. I can't even think of anything or anybody to compare that to. That is how powerful our God is.

My life was spent believing in a God of love, but this was not truly God I was believing in. Our God is a God we must love, and fear. In a sermon, I heard somebody talking about how we are not truly believing in God if we live a life thinking God is just a God of love, or if God is just a God we fear. He is both things. An all-powerful, all-knowledgeable, loving, caring God. Capable of all things - creating the universe, speaking every detail of our lives into existence. Now that, is my God.

I'm still in a learning process. This is just the beginning, but praise God for bringing me to where I am now. Praise God for revealing himself in our lives.

As I see my brothers and sisters in Christ growing together, I am challenged and convicted. I thank God so much for bringing them into my life as they help me become more thirsty for God. At times, I am tempted to run away from this life. I've been tempted to throw it all down and make a run for it because in a worldly sense, being a Christian really isn't easy, but Christ has shown me how worth it all is. He understands me and allows me to rejoice in these struggles. He lets me follow him, he feeds me when I'm hungry and gives me water when I'm thirsty.

I hope I can spend more time sharing with you the mysterious workings of God in my life, and I hope we can grow together as we learn to love, rejoice and serve.

Rabbi yhebbik. (God loves you)

- kjoosaurus out! 

One Way [5/15/12]

Hello my friends!

How are you all doing? I hope you are living beautiful Christ-filled lives :) I went to my church's youth group tonight, and it was absolutely wonderful! It is so great to see these young people filled with so much joy. Truly a blessing! I pray they will continue to become more and more passionate for God; I pray  their hearts would really open up to God!

As I was praying about what to write tonight, God told me to go straight to illbehonest.com to watch some videos. The first video I saw was this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=8X8dYCfKk_g. The video speaks of how Jesus Christ is the one and only way.

The reason why this immediately caught my interest was because of how I have recently been in the presence of many, many Catholics. It began a couple of months ago. I was discussing with a fellow sister in Christ of the differences between Catholicism and Christianity. I truly could not think of any difference other than the processes of things, and how Catholics pray to the Virgin Mary. Then, this sister began to explain how Catholics also believe they are able to go to Heaven by more ways than just Jesus. She told me they believed doing good deeds would also allow them to go to Heaven. This surprised me very much!

After I talked about this with her, I noticed an increase of Catholics in my life. I met people on the greyhound who were Catholic, I discovered I have family that is Catholic, and I recently met many Catholic people on my trip to Korea! Now, I know Catholicism is not a rare religion, but I was still surprised at how I have only recently noticed how many Catholics are around me!

Then, I began to think... Is there a reason why God is placing them in my life? Is there something He wants me to do? I'm still not completely sure of what it is He wants, but it has started to get me thinking.

There must be so many people in this world who are SO close to being saved, but they are thinking they are able to be perfect in God's eyes if they do good deeds, good things, etc. Yet, the truth is, Jesus Christ is the only way! It is only through Jesus Christ that we are able to be with our perfect God in heaven above. As the video says, we must trust in Jesus Christ. We must truly believe Christ died for us; it is the biggest proof of His great love for us! Nothing we ourselves do will make us perfect in God's eyes. Only when we accept Jesus Christ and accept the beautiful and true story of how he died for us, all of us sinners, will we become perfect in the eyes of our God.

It would be great if God would use us all to show others how Jesus Christ is the one and only way! May He speak through us and use us to tell the truth to all the nations!

John 14:6

New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

I wasn't listening to this song while I was writing this post, but I remembered it as I was finishing up! We always used to sing this song at VBS :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPuUIUWE8h8

Thank you so much for reading this post! Every single one of you is such a special blessing in my life. You are all God's beautiful children, and He loves every single one of us so much! May you continue to trust in Him through every second of your day. May His presence be very obvious in your life!


- kjoosaurus out!