Memory of a goldfish [6/4/13]

Hi everybody! :) 

There has been a question in my mind for a few weeks now... And I really can't figure out the answer to this question! 

Is it summer yet? 

The weather has been up and down and all around and it seems as though I can no longer pinpoint what season it is. How confusing! But you know what's cool? Although our walk with God seems to be hectic at times, and there are periods of time when God feels more absent than others, he is always constant and he is always there. No matter what! 

In the past week and a bit that I haven't posted anything, a lot has happened and God has, as usual, been working and revealing new and old things to me! I no longer label my faith as a roller coaster ride, because thankfully, my faith has become more constant. The only roller coaster ride in my faith is how struggles come and go! But I try to welcome these struggles as I am able to participate in the sufferings of Christ and will be overjoyed when his glory is revealed! (1 Peter 4:13) The past couple of weeks have been a test of welcoming new struggles as they have been marked with different struggles where I was tempted let go of my trust in God and tried to deal with the problem myself. 

I love, love, love it when I am able to see what God has been doing my life. I love it when he reveals his plans to me and shows me what he has been teaching me and how he has been doing it! 

Today, I was spending some much needed time reading the word of God when I was lead to read Exodus 14-17. This specific part of Exodus is where the Israelites cross the Red Sea, and rejoice, then seem to forget what God has done for them when they complain for food and water. In Exodus 14:31 it says, "And when the Israelites saw the great power the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant." 

If I were them, I would be exactly the same! What other man or god could split the Red Sea in half and allow us to pass through with safety!? What else is capable of doing this impossible task? From my knowledge, the answer is nobody. There is no one else capable of such amazing works! None but our God! 

As I continued to read Exodus, I read Exodus 17:7 where it says, "And he called the place Massah and Meribah because the Israelites quarrelled and because they tested the Lord saying, "Is the Lord among us or not?" The meaning of Massah is testing and the meaning of Meribah is quarrelling and in my opinion, is that not slightly embarrassing for the Israelites that their lack of trust in God was so significant that they actually named the place after their doubt? 

From fear to testing - what a distinct contrast between Exodus 14 and Exodus 17! When I read this, I actually started chuckling a little bit. How inconsistent and foolish humans are. We say we fear the Lord one moment, and the next moment we test him? You would think that once you walked through a parted sea, you would always fear God and trust in him and his provision. But nope! We always end up doubting him and sometimes forgetting the amazing things he has done for us! 

As I read Exodus, God was gently telling me that I am no different from the Israelites. I as well have seen God do amazing things in my life, only to forget the next week and go back to my foolish ways of doubt. And I think this is the case for many people! If this is you, then you are not alone! We are often called to trust in God, in his provision and trust that his plan will be unraveled in his time, but we still end up worrying about whatever situation is causing us to struggle and we try to put things in our own control. 

So brothers and sisters, I want to encourage each and every one of you to remind yourselves of who our God is - how powerful, wonderful and caring he is. We should also encourage one another in these times (and all other times)! As I have had several different struggles entering my life recently, I was blessed to have brothers and sisters that continued to remind me to just trust in the Lord - be constant in prayer and thanksgiving to the Lord for what he does in my life. Praise the Lord!

May we trust in the Lord always! :) 

- kjoosaurus out!

God's will, not ours. [5/14/12]

Hello Hello!

kjoosaurus is back in business. I would like to thank all the mysterious authors who have been posting for me while I was in Korea. I think they did a fantastic job, and I hope God revealed things to them as they wrote :) My trip to Korea was a whole lot of fun! I went to learn Korean, and that didn't work out very well, but I had a very good time while I was there! The only thing I was shocked about was the vanity and materialism that consumes the country... But that is a story for another day!

Today, I would like to talk about something God has been teaching and showing me.

Hmmm. Where should I start. Okay, so I became friends with this one person a few years ago, called R (I'm using this since mysterious single-lettered names seem to have become a trend on this blog), and the two of us became very, very close. The only thing is, R is not a believer.

I didn't really care about R not being a believer because I was not at all focused on God at that time of my life. So, we had a very ungodly relationship, and other than coming to church with me sometimes, R had no experiences with God. But, as you know, I became very close to Christ while I was in Ottawa, and I actually came to realize how R was distracting me very much from building a relationship with Christ. So, at that time, I stopped talking to R very much, and I continued to build an amazing relationship with Christ.

Well, everything was going quite fine and dandy... Until I got home. R knew I was home, so R made a couple of visits to my home and things went downhill from there. You see, R is a very lonely person, and it hurt me to see my close friend be so alone. I wanted to be close with R again, but one thing R made very clear to me, was that there was no religion and no God to be a part of our relationship. R has never wanted to hear anything about God, but in the time we've been apart... This has become worse. Every time I mention anything about my wonderful God, R tunes out. So, just to please R, I stopped directly talking about God. Instead, I tried more subtle tactics (I am absolutely terrible at being subtle.) I prayed for R, and I tried to make R have a different perspective about God.

But, do you notice how I keep saying I? It was ME trying to do all the work. I was not at all letting God do the work. I was relying on my own power and knowledge to bring this dear friend to Christ.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.

You see, because of my desperation to help R find Christ, I forgot something very important. I forgot to trust God, and allow God to do all of the work with His power. I often find myself doing these things... It brings me so much sadness to see R be living life without Christ. To see somebody I love so much be living in such loneliness, and so much pain... It brings me quite a bit of heartache. But! I know God is working, and I'm most likely a distraction to R. God doesn't want me to try to take control... He doesn't want me to try to do any of the work. He wants me to hand R over to Him, and in time, R will be able to know the glory and mercy of God as well.

This isn't the only time I have tried to rely on my own knowledge and power. I often forget to rely solely on God. God has the most knowledge, and the most power. He knows exactly what is going on, and exactly what is going to happen. He just wants us to put our matters into His hands, and He will deal with them in His time. We just need to learn to let go of our habit of controlling things. It's definitely hard, but God hears our prayers. He's not sitting in Heaven with His ears plugged! He's listening to us, and he's always going to answer us! May we learn to trust the Lord, and not lean on our own understanding. :)

Thanks for reading my post tonight! I hope you are all doing well! God bless!

Here's the song I listened to while writing this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp5PZuuB3Pg

Also, I wanted to share the video of my baptism with you all! Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2ZAgSYH8oI

- kjoosaurus out! :)