Stripping Away Our Pride [4/30/12]

Hello hello!

I hope everybody is doing well; I am writing this blog early today because I have a busy day ahead of me!  There are a lot of things that must be done before I go home, and I wanted to make sure I wasn't too tired to write this. Actually, I should probably make it a habit to write this blog earlier in the day... :)

Anyways! Today, God provided me with the topic of pride. He has truly been changing me, and very slowly taking away my pride. Pride is something I have struggled with for many, many years. I honestly don't have any idea where my pride came from, but it was, and still is, a very big challenge in my life. Since I was younger, I was extremely prideful. I always wanted to be the one people looked at, I wanted people to continuously compliment me, and I wanted people to look up to me. I relied on nobody but myself, because I believed I myself could do everything best. I only ever relied on my own knowledge, and my own wisdom. I would try to give people my own advice because I wanted people to rely on me and look up to me, and tell me how wise I was.

Whenever anybody ever criticized me, I would snap back. My parents often tried to talk to me about my pride, my greed and my selfish actions, but it never ever worked. My friends would talk with me about these problems, but when they brought them up, I became extremely angry. I would explode and talk about how they were full of faults too. I told them they were in no place to judge me and try to change me! I always did my own thing, and I did not let anybody put me down.

This pride is still a part of my life... I know I am not a truly humble servant of God yet. Even now, when people try to help me, I find myself tuning out. I find that I stop listening to them, and I don't remember the words they say to me. I don't ever want to be told that I am wrong, but little by little, God has been reminding me of how many faults I have, and how it is only Him that can change me and mold me. Over the past few months, he has taught me so much about how pride can hinder our relationship with Him.

Psalms 25:9

He leads the humble in doing right, teaching them his way.

What God has been teaching me about pride is that He cannot use me if I hold on to my pride. If I hold on to my pride, I will begin to glorify myself, and do things in MY own way, not HIS. God's way is the only way, and I must become humble for Him to teach me His way. I pray, and pray, and pray that He would bring me down to the lowest of the lows, and humble me. I pray that He would strip away all of my pride, and use me to do His will! God has been humbling me through people, the Bible, and events that occur in my life. I pray that He would change my heart and my mind so that I may rely on Him only; not myself or anybody else. 

I praise God because I know he has been changing my way into his way. I pray that you will all seek His face and His will, and ask Him to humble you! 

Thank you for reading my blog! The next time I blog, it will be from Vancouver! How exciting :) 

-kjoosaurus out!

Doubting Thomas [4/29/12]

John 20:24

One of the twelve disciples, Thomas (nicknamed the Twin), was not with 

the others when Jesus came. They told him, "We have seen the Lord!"
But he replied, "I won't believe it unless I see the
nail wounds in his hands, put my fingers into them, and place
my hand into the wound in his side."
Eight days later, the disciples were together again, and this time
Thomas was with them. The doors were locked; but suddenly, as
before, Jesus was standing among them.
"Peace be with you," he said. Then he said
to Thomas, "Put your finger here, and look at my hands.
Put your hand into the wound in my side. Don't be faithless any longer.

Believe!"

"My Lord and my God!" Thomas exclaimed.
Then Jesus told him, "You believe because you have seen me.
Blessed are those who believe without seeing me."

This past weekend was full of interesting events. God continuously revealed things to me, and he told me something I hadn't even realized. On Friday, a friend of mine made a brief reference to Thomas in the bible. She was calling somebody "Doubting Thomas," and I didn't understand her reference. I had never heard of "Doubting Thomas" before, and I didn't think much of it at the time. So, I brushed it off, and I continued on with my life. The day after, Thomas was mentioned two more times. Then again, Thomas was referred to on the next day! It was on the fourth time that Thomas was mentioned that I realized something... God was telling me to search up the bible verse on "Doubting Thomas!"

As I was reading the verse on Thomas, I immediately understood the message God was conveying to me. I hadn't realized (or maybe I just didn't take note of it) that there were many doubts that continued to creep into my head while I was praising God, or praying to Him. At times, I realized I would doubt how mighty He was, or the things He had done. I didn't take note of these doubts right away, until I realized they were very persistent, and they only came when I was getting closer to God. When this was revealed to me, I was scared. I didn't want to doubt God; I wasn't trying to. I probably wouldn't have taken note of this if God had not revealed it to me! 

God doesn't want me to doubt Him in any way, and I'm sure it saddens Him when I do. He brought this to my attention, so that I may cast all of my doubts away. They have still been crawling into my mind at times when I grow closer to Him, but God is working in me as I pray to Him every time this happens. I realized there are times when we don't even notice we are struggling; we don't see what we are struggling with, but God revealed my struggles to me so that I would pray to Him and ask Him for His guidance! I pray that I may have 100% faith in Him without having to have "proof." I pray that I do not need to be doubting like Thomas was; I pray that I would be able to believe without seeing! He is a wonderful God who continuously works inside of us! He is always molding us, and changing us! What a beautiful, and mighty God! 

Thank you very much for reading my blog! One of these days, when I'm not too tired, I will write two blogs so that I can catch up for the Friday that I missed! May God bless your day!

- kjoosaurus out!

Holy Spirit [4/28/12]

Hello!

So, I have a lot to talk about today. I'm going to do this blog in two separate posts. This first one is going to talk about a prayer that was answered, and how the Holy Spirit guided me through a very new experience. These past couple of days, I have been traveling in Toronto/Mississauga/Oakville. The reason for me being in that area was because I was attending a Vision Camp that my friend was speaking at; the experience was amazing and God spoke to me in amazing ways, but I would like to save that story for another day! The story I would like to share with you happened on the greyhound on the way to the Vision Camp. It was an event that I have never been able to experience before, and it was truly through God's grace that it could happen!

I was heading to Toronto with a friend of mine, and when we got on the bus, there wasn't enough space for the two of us to sit together. Because of this, I ended up sitting beside a young-looking girl. As I sat down beside her, I began to pray. I asked God to give me an opportunity to start a conversation with her. I also requested that I would be able to give her something to think about; I prayed that he would use the Holy Spirit to guide me, and use my mouth to utter wise words. For the first hour of the bus ride, I didn't say a single word to her. I forgot about my prayer, when all of a sudden she began fiddling with the air conditioning. She asked me if I was feeling cold, and from there, a conversation started.

The first hour of conversation is a blur to me. It went by extremely fast, and I got to know so much about her in such a short amount of time! We talked about our lives, what we were doing, what we were interested in, etc. Then, she asked me what I was going to Toronto for. I told her I was going to a church event, and from there, we began to speak about Christianity. I discovered that she is Catholic, and I began to ask her about her faith. I was genuinely curious, because I don't know much about that religion. I always knew it was similar to Christianity, but I wasn't sure how it was different. One difference we found was that Catholics believe there is another way to Heaven other than Jesus. This girl believed she would be able to get into Heaven if she were able to do many good deeds. When I heard this, I asked her if she believed she was a sinner. She said no, and then proceeded to ask me if I believed I was a sinner.

I told her: Yes, I believe I am a sinner. I believe there is no way I could ever possibly follow all of the ten commandments. I told her about a couple of them, and how impossible they are to follow! Then, I proceeded to tell her that although I am a sinner, it is because I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour that I am able to accepted by God, and taken to Heaven to be with Him.

The reaction I got to this was unexpected. She stared at me, and told me she had never heard of this before. She sat there, and thought and thought and thought. She told me it was very interesting, and she really seemed to be in shock about this. As the conversation moved on, we continued to talk about more and more. She told me she had not talked about religion in a long time, and I would like to think she had more to think about. I pray that the Holy Spirit is working in her at this very moment!

Luke 12:12, "for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say."

The Holy Spirit took control of my body; I was used to tell this girl about the grace of God! The words that came out of my mouth were not my own, but the words of the Spirit. I feel so blessed to be able to be used in this way! I pray that the Holy Spirit will work the same way in each and every one of you. Trust in God, and let the Holy Spirit take control! God provides us with so many opportunities; we must grasp these opportunities, and let him work through us! 

Thank you for reading this post! Instead of posting another one tonight, I will post two tomorrow because I'm exhausted right now! I have so much more to share with you all, and I have a feeling that I will be having a lot to say in the next couple of days, so keep on reading! :) 

-kjoosaurus out!

Loving the World [4/26/12]

Hello!

Lately, I've been wondering a lot about how attached I am to this world, and how much effort I put into worldly things. I've been asking myself questions like "Would I want to win the lottery?" or "Why do I claim to love materialistic things?" I know it sounds like a silly question to be asking, but I continue to ask myself these questions because I have come to realize how easily I fall for materialistic and worldly things. They are so distracting, and they are EVERYWHERE. They are tempting, and they are tricky. I used to often find myself being taken away from God because of the worldly things that surrounded me. 

I've been distracted by clothes, television, media, money, music, and so much more. I tell people "I love my iPod." Or, "I love this shirt." I could go on, and on, and on about how much I love these worldly things, but this must sound so sad to God! When I see other people with expensive and fancy things, I find myself wanting them. I catch myself thinking about how much I want these items. I want the latest gadget, and I want the newest style of clothes. Yes, these things seem cool, and they can be of use, but why do I obsess over them? How could I ever claim to "love" these things?

1 John 3:15
"Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you."

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has caught myself loving things from this world. I'm sure we have all caught ourselves obsessing over material things. If you've ever lost a great deal of money, or broken something valuable, I'm sure you've felt sadness and sometimes anger. But, this love we have for material things shouldn't be there. It distracts us from loving our God, and it prevents us from loving him to the fullest we could! Why do we love these things that are worth nothing...? They are temporary things. When we are finally with our Father, they will mean absolutely nothing to us! So, why do they mean so much now? 

Let's fill ourselves with love for God; let there be no room for us to love worldly things. This is extremely hard, but day by day, the amount of love we have for God will grow. We must pray that he fills us with his love! We will be with Him for all of eternity!

Thank you for reading my blog tonight! 

-kjoosaurus out!

Faith & Action [4/25/12]

Greetings!

I hope everybody is doing well; I'm super excited because I finally moved out of residence! It will hopefully be my last year in residence, unless I decide I can't handle living off-campus. I guess I will have to learn to cook too! I can't wait to see what the next year holds in store for me!

So, today, I wanted to talk about something I only recently discovered. This may be old news for many of you, but I still wanted to share it. I am constantly surprised at how many things I am learning about Christianity. I was raised in a Christian family, so I felt like I knew so much, yet I now realize I knew so little. Only recently, I realized a crucial piece of information that I did not take note of. This piece of information changed a lot for me, and it has given me a lot to think about.

For years, and years, and years, I thought I was a Christian. I thought I was saved because I had said the sinner's prayer. I said it one night, and immediately afterwards, I went back to my usual life. Afterwards, I rarely thought about God, and I lived every single day without his will in mind. My actions were selfish actions, and my thoughts were selfish thoughts. I truly believed in God, but I didn't have any sort of relationship with him. I did not seek to do his will, and I honestly didn't care. It wasn't until I began to make friends who encouraged me to build a relationship with Him that I began to learn more about the difference between faith and good actions.

James 2:17

So you see, faith by itself isn't enough. 

Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.

This verse really struck me. As I was discussing this verse with a friend, I began to realize how many people there are who believe in God, and even believe they have been saved. They say they have faith. They say they are saved, but are they really? There are many who believe in God. There are many who acknowledge his existence, but this does not mean we are saved! If we begin to seek God's will, we begin to do actions that are in His name. But, if you do not see a change in your daily life, then how can you say you are saved?

Our faith works together with our actions. We cannot have one, and not the other. Another serious issue that has been seen amongst people, is the issue of those who believe they are saved because they are doing actions. There are many who believe that the more good deeds they do, the bigger chance they will have in getting to Heaven. They donate money, they are kind to people, and from a worldly perspective, they are "good." But, doing only actions will not save you! Faith and good deeds go hand-in-hand. They go together! With faith, comes good deeds. God does not accept things we believe to be good deeds; we are doing these deeds for ourselves, and not for anybody else. Just because we think they are good deeds, does not mean God thinks they are.

Please don't fall into this trap... I fell into it. I believed I was saved, because I believed in the existence of God. I believed I was saved because I went to church once a week, but I was so wrong. I was tricked, and I fell for the trick. I pray that none of you will fall for this just as I did. Jesus is the only way!

Thank you for reading my blog tonight, I really enjoy writing this for you all! It gives me time to reflect on my walk with God, and I hope it gives you a chance to reflect as well. :) I didn't listen to a song tonight, because I had a lovely friend sing for me while I wrote this blog, but there will be another song up tomorrow!

- kjoosaurus out!

Peace and Comfort [4/24/12]

Hellooo there!

Exams are finally done! I'm pretty sure I passed all of my exams - yay! I hope everybody has been doing well; I hope all the students who are done exams are now filled with a sense of relief. I know I am! Yet, I still manage to procrastinate... I'm currently procrastinating packing. It's weird how I started packing at 2pm, and I still haven't finished. Oh well! I'll finish packing eventually!

Like I continue to repeat, over and over again, the relationships I've built in Ottawa have been beautiful, precious, and blessed! The majority of my relationships have been based on Christ, and this makes them so much deeper and much more meaningful. I have grown to love so many people; God used so many people to guide me and encourage me! The times spent together have been so memorable, fun and enjoyable! Honestly, I love spending time with all of these people so much; I always enjoy myself when I'm around my friends, and I cherish these moments together.

God has blessed me with such amazing people; He has put them in my life, and He has used every single one of them to guide, mold and encourage me! They have become such an important part of my life, but I am being separated with some for an indefinite amount of time... This means, I will no longer see them every day or every week, and I will no longer be able to have the same amount of face-to-face interaction that we have now. There are others that I will not be seeing for four months; although the time is short, it still makes me really sad... I think one of the hardest parts is knowing that I am really bad at keeping in touch with people through technology. I'm scared that relationships will be different when I come back to Ottawa in September; I'm scared that things will change.

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. 

Not as the world gives do I give to you. 

Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Although I held these feelings of fear and sadness inside of my heart, I turned to God, and told him of these emotions I was experiencing. Through Him, I found peace and comforting. If we turn to Him when we are experiencing troubles or sorrows, he will never disappoint! He will bring peace to our hearts, and we have no need to be afraid! I'm sure there are times when you struggle, and when you feel as if you are in the worst situation possible, but stop worrying! Stop letting things bring you down! Bring all of your troubles, sorrows, and problems to God. He is waiting for you to turn to Him!

God loves us. He is never ever going to abandon us. I am going to repeat this over, and over, and over again until each and every person on this earth understands and remembers this! Jesus died on the cross for us, our sins have been forgiven. We have been blessed, and we are loved! We have been put on this earth to serve Him! So when you are feeling down, discouraged or afraid, don't be scared to pour your heart out to Him. He is waiting for you. Let Him know your sorrows, and He will take these troubles off of your heart! He will give you peace. He will comfort you!

Our God is an awesome God! He loves us so, so much. Let's praise Him and continue to do His will, and His will only!

Thank you very much for reading my blog! :) Here's the song I listened to today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx2-Inc8TkA

- kjoosaurus out!

Prayer [4/23/12]

Good evening!

Last night, I was able to have an amazing experience with God and a close friend of mine. For the first time, I spent a couple of hours in prayer with a friend. It wasn't anything planned, and it was completely brought by God! It was incredible to pray together with a friend for other people. It was so beautiful to be able to praise and thank God alongside a close friend! It was such a wonderful experience, and I began to wonder why I had never done it before.

Prayer has only recently begun to become an important part of my life. Before, it was something I would do if I remembered, and I never tried very hard to remember to pray. My prayers would always be empty, and effortless. I would mumble a quick prayer before I ate my food, and I would mumble a quick prayer before I fell asleep at night. When my grandmother came over, she would wake up every morning at 6, and she would pray for an hour or two. I didn't understand why she took such a long time to pray; I didn't see what she could be praying for. When I prayed, they always used to be for selfish things. They were prayers with my own goals in mind, not the goals of my Father. Therefore, I would pray selfishly and emptily.

As I grow, and learn more, I have begun to realize how beautiful and precious prayer is. Through prayer, we are able to achieve so much!

Matthew 21:22 

"And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith."

Prayer is important because it allows us to become closer with God, and he reveals things to us as we pray because with prayer, we are able to ask Him every and any request we have in our hearts. With prayer, we are able to repent to God. We are able to ask Him for forgiveness, and we are able to spill our struggles and trials to Him. It is beautiful to know that we are able to have such a close relationship with Him, and knowing that, why do choose to not spend time with Him? We could get to know Him so much better if we spent more time with Him, but why are we letting other things distract us so easily? 

Also, God revealed to me how it is possible for my grandmother to pray for hours. He revealed to me that if we have His goals in our mind, we could pray about these goals forever. To pray for those who are not yet saved, to pray for the things he wants, to pray for the things we wish for him to change about us, to pray for our sisters and brothers. We could pray day after day after day. Doing God's will isn't just a temporary thing. There are endless things to pray about, and we must continue to pray until we are finally with Him!!

Prayer is a crucial part of our walk with God. It should become a major part of our everyday life. We should pray alone, but also with our fellow sisters and brothers in Christ! Prayer is so powerful. If you have any prayer requests, please let me know! I would be so happy to pray for you!

Thank you for reading my blog on this lovely night :) May the rest of your night, and your day tomorrow, be filled with the holy spirit! May God's presence be evident in every aspect of your day. May you see Him everywhere you go! 

 

Here is the song I listened to while writing this blog: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vny6oFHw1Sw

-kjoosaurus out!

God's Chisel [4/22/12]

Aloha~

I hope everybody was able to spend time worshiping and praising God today! I hope even more that you would be spending quiet time with him as much as possible. Your day should never be too busy to spend some time with God. I know I get distracted very easily by things that have no meaning, but I'm striving to find time for God in every single day of my life.

Today, I wanted to talk about a video and a personal experience I've had with it. Here's a video that really touched my heart in the beginning of the year: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhfUzodLRvk

This video talks about how God molds us. He carries us through trials and struggles to shape us into the beautiful masterpiece he wants us to be! We go through things that seem so tough, but with God, we always learn through these difficult experiences, and we grow into something beautiful. God really helped me through trials in my life...

My teenage years were filled with self-hate. My body was filled with jealousy from head to toe. I was jealous of other people because they were all better looking than me, they were funnier, they were more artistic, they were smarter, they were more passionate, they were more social. I wanted so badly to be like them. I wanted to be that girl who people looked up to; I wanted to be a person that people thought highly of. But, there was nothing about me that made me stick out a lot. I struggled to appreciate myself, and I became very angry at God; I became very angry in general.

I went through a lot of pain because of how inferior I felt when I was with other people. My friends always seemed to be so much better than me. They would have what I wanted, and they would be who I wished I could be. I became sad when I would see them, and I would often distance myself from people who had qualities I wished I could have. I was angry at God for making me into what I thought was such a useless and talentless person. It was when I came to know Christ, that I began to look towards him when I struggled with these insecurities instead of being angry at him.

As I continued to look towards Him, He taught me so much in such a short time. He taught me how I am HIS creation. This makes me beautiful already! I am now so appreciative of the gifts he has given me. I am able to walk; this makes me able to travel to different places to bring the good news. I am able to communicate; this allows me to speak with others about God. I am able to use my voice; this makes me capable of yelling his name out loud!! These basic gifts he has given me are still beautiful blessings... They are not even the beginning of the gifts he has given me, but I have learned to appreciate the basic things.

God molded me into somebody who would be willing to serve him. He showed me the different gifts he had given me to do his will! Yes, I went through struggles and difficult times. I failed to appreciate the amazing gifts he had given me! I had hated the beautiful body he had provided me to do his will, but I have learned to appreciate it because I am able to do his work!

James 1:2-4 says, "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, you endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."

These dark, angry, and jealous times I went through were a way for God to teach me about the blessings he has given me, and what these blessings are meant to be used for! My faith was tested. I let myself become extremely furious at God and I strayed far from God, but God pulled through as always and showed me the light! He was there for me since the beginning, and he used his chisel to make me more like the masterpiece I will become!

I will continue to accept the struggles I am given, because I know God is working in me. He is always molding us, and always working with us!

Thank you for reading my post today! :) Here is the song I listened to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iCoV6rDDjs&feature=fvwrel


-kjoosaurus out!

Lord Above All [4/21/12]

Hey guys!

kjoosaurus is back :) I hope you all enjoyed reading the prayer written out yesterday... I know I thoroughly enjoyed it. It so beautifully expressed how unrighteous I feel in front of my God, while also reminding me of how He loves us so dearly. It takes a lot to be able to admit to being a sinner; the pride of man stands in our way. It is an obstacle we face, and it is an obstacle we must overcome! We are only human. Our God is above us all.

This is something I wanted to talk about today... For many, pride is something that is hard to overcome. We naturally do not want to admit we are wrong, or that we have done wrong. We do not want to openly admit to being a sinner. We want to keep secret those mistakes we have made, or the many faults we possess. This is completely normal as a human. I personally struggled a great deal with it, and it was a huge obstacle in developing my relationship with God.

I find the idea of pride very interesting. People hold themselves up so highly. I think of nations, celebrities, world leaders, etc. They are in a position where people might even worship them. They put themselves in the spotlight, and bask in their fame and power. Although it is bad that they are glorifying themselves, we must be careful as well. There are many times when we are glorifying these famous people as well. We look up to them, and to some extreme cases, we worship them. I know this is weird, but the first example that comes to my mind is Justin Bieber. He has fans out there, that worship him. So many of his fans would do anything for him. They cry when they see him, they know everything about him, they seek him, they crave him, they worship him. This obsession they have with him makes me feel sad. We should be seeking our God, craving our God, worshiping our God.

¹⁹ Arise, LORD, do not let mortals triumph;
   let the nations be judged in your presence.
²⁰ Strike them with terror, LORD;
   let the nations know they are only mortal. 

This verse is crucial to remember. We are only mortal. There is absolutely nothing above our God! There is no celebrity, leader, or nation on this earth above him. He is the almighty, all powerful God. We must never forget this. Yes, there will be times when we may start to get sucked into all the worldly things around us, but we must not fall for it! Stand strong against all temptations and distractions. Remember that there is nothing and nobody above our God!

I am only mortal. But with God, I have eternal life. I live to serve Him, I live to do His will. I thrive to love like Him, to worship Him, and to be with Him. He has given us the greatest gift of all, and we are so much more than fortunate for it! I pray that all nations will bow down before Him, for He is the almighty God!

Thank you so much for reading my blog today! I appreciate it so much that you would all take some time out of your day to read my blog. It means so much to me. :) 

Here's the song I listened to while writing this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d61LamkXfwk

-kjoosaurus out! 

Unrighteousness

Hello, unfortunately kjoosaurus rex could not write her post today because she has to study for her exam :(

So a mysterious writer has filled in for her! yay

This is my confession and prayer I want to share with you.

God, I come to you.

I am so sinful. I am not worthy of your love, not even to call you, my Lord.

How can I say that I follow Christ, when I do things that dishonor you?

My life is filled with sin!

Today, I did nothing that was righteous, and lost all self-control.

How can I claim to have fellowship with Christ when I walk in the darkness?

I am lying and do not live by the truth.

My heart is filled with unrighteousness and ignorance.

I thank you that you hide your plans from me,

for I would trample on it with my unrighteousness.

Why do you love a person like me?

I dishonor you daily. I break your commands and walk in the dark.

I think of selfish things and do things that the world loves to do.

I dance and sing foolishly to music that you hate.

Why do you love me?

I do not know you, for I am unrighteous.

How can I preach about Christ if I don't know Him?

Why do you place me in such trials?

Don't you know how unrighteous I am?

Am I so faithful that I could win against the evil one?

I am weak! Don't you know?

My heart condemns me because of the contradiction that I live.

I say I am your child and yet I continue to live in sin!

I worship you with my hands and praise you with my mouth.

And with the same hands and mouth, I use them to sin!

If I am born of God, how can I go on sinning?

Do I belong to the devil?

You say that your commands are not burdensome, for everyone

born of God overcomes the world.

But your commands are impossible for an unrighteous man like me!

Don't you hear me crying out for help?

Or have you given up on me?

You tell me not to be overcome by evil, but rather, overcome evil with good.

There is no good within me with which I can overcome evil!

But I have Jesus, my Lord and Savior, who overcame all evil

as an atoning sacrifice for man.

His grace covers me from judgment.

So bless the Lord, for he is good.

His love endures forever.

Have mercy on me, Lord.

Let me be righteous, as your Son is righteous.

Let all my heart, all my spirit, all my mind, and all my strength

give you glory always!

All glory be to you, Lord God Almighty,

forever and ever,

Amen.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just

and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

1 John 1:9

"God made him (Jesus) who had no sin to be sin for us,

so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

2 Corinthians 5:21

Song I listened to: Rescue by Desperation Band

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEO12GqfKPM

Sins Forgiven [4/19/12]

Hello hello!

So lately, I've been having a hard time thinking about what to write about, but at the last minute, God has always provided me with the right words. It might be that I have been thinking too hard about what to write, because when I think I've chosen something to write about, it always changes! It's great to know that God has his own plan for us!

I've finally finished reading the book of Matthew, and it's absolutely incredible. Jesus Christ was betrayed, he was tortured, and he was killed. He knew and predicted what was coming, yet he endured it because of his mighty love for us! When he died on the cross, we were forgiven for all of our sins... It is because of him that we are able to be with God in heaven!

As I was reading about how Jesus died on the cross, I was reminded of a Life Group session from last semester. We were talking about the ten commandments, and what exactly they were. It was an eye-opening experience for me because it made me realize how much of a sinner I am. I always knew I was a sinner, but by going over all ten commandments and explaining them made me realize so much. I realized how impossible it is to be perfect in God's eyes without Jesus...

One commandment that really stuck out to me is shown in Exodus 21:13. All it says is "you shall not murder." For the majority of my life, I found this to be an easy commandment! I always thought "Well, that's easy enough! I wasn't planning on murdering anybody anyways!" But, when I went to life group that night, I learned a whole lot more on this simple commandment. I learned that the equivalent to murdering somebody, is hating somebody. My. Mind. Was. Blown. I never knew this! I spent 18 years full of intense hatred towards certain people, and this whole time, I was sinning!

Hatred is such a strong emotion, and it is everywhere in this world. I was so caught up in hatred, and I didn't even know what I was doing. Now I realize how much of a sinner I am, and I admit it everyday. I am a sinner. I sin in every way, and without Jesus Christ, I am nothing! The book of Matthew is so beautiful; it is filled with so many miracles, and it is full of Christ's love for us. He loves us, and although we are sinners, he paid the price on the cross and all of our sins have been forgiven! How fortunate are we? We have a God who blesses us, and loves us. A love so powerful, precious and beautiful. Let's continue to remember this love he has for us, and what he has done for us!

Thank you very much for reading this post! I hope you realize and admit we are all sinners, but also understand that Jesus has forgiven our sins! Praise him for what he has done for us! :)

Here's the song I listened to while writing this blog: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr9Wz3F9JPs

-kjoosaurus out!

Purpose [4/18/12]

Hello to all you beautiful people!

Isn't it crazy how quickly time flies? I can so clearly remember my first day in Ottawa... I can remember how my hair became a huge frizz ball because of the difference in the weather from Vancouver, I remember moving into my room and waiting in anticipation of seeing my roommate for the first time, I remember waiting in line to figure out which room I would be in. But, that was eight months ago! Eight whole months have gone by since I moved to Ottawa, and in that time, I've changed so much as a person. I've learned so much, and my eyes have been opened to so many new things.

One thing that has changed in my life, is the purpose of my life. Before I came to know Christ, I don't think I had much of a purpose... My goals were steered towards education, a successful career, and a comfortable lifestyle. This was everything I was striving for; I wanted to be well-off, but then as I came to know Christ, I began to question this. What would happen if I DID become well-off and fulfill all of my "goals"? I would just breathe, work, live, and then what? Once I completed everything I wanted, what would be the purpose? Well, now that I think of it, there would be none. Those were such shallow, worldly, and selfish goals. All I wanted was for ME to live comfortably, or for ME to be happy... But I didn't think beyond that.

When I came to know Christ, I became passionate about so much more. I now want to serve him! I want to get to know him! I want to be with him! Things have drastically changed; my life is full of meaning because of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Although I have discovered these things, there are still certain aspects I struggle with.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Like I was talking about yesterday, God has plans for us, and we don't know what they are. We know they are for good, but we still don't know what they are. The part I struggle with, is when I can't see God using me. I so badly want to serve him, and have him use me to do his work, but there are times when I feel so USELESS. Even recently, I've been in situations where I just wish God would put the right words in my mouth, I pray that he would fill me with wisdom and knowledge to be able to reach out to other people, but I don't see it happening.

The most recent situation was where a friend of mine was feeling down. I wanted to help so badly, but I just didn't know what to say. I was praying that the Holy Spirit would work through me to reach out to this friend. I wanted to be the person God used to guide them, but this didn't happen. I went home feeling sad, and useless. I kept thinking and thinking. I wondered to myself, "When is God ever going to use me?" I was sitting there, and I was ready. I was ready for him to take control and use me to do his work. But, I wasn't seeing anything.

I kept wondering about this, and wondering why God wasn't using me. The more I thought about it, the more I didn't understand. But then, He revealed something to me. He showed me how although I was wanting to help a friend, my desires were actually selfish. The reason why is because I was seeking attention. I wanted people to compliment me for being such a good friend; I wanted people to consider me somebody with extremely wise words. I wasn't seeking God's glory, but my own. As God revealed this to me, I became so ashamed and embarrassed. I even hesitated to write about this on my blog, but I wanted to be honest. I have often struggled with my pride. Ever since I was young, I would seek compliments and attention from my peers. I would like to think I have become more humble, but I know I'm still struggling with my pride.

Proverbs 11:2 says, "Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."

I'm praying and praying that the Lord would help me become humble. Being prideful is such an unattractive quality, and the Lord crowns the humble with salvation! I praise the Lord for bringing me to where I am now! In the short time I have gotten to know him, I realize he has taught me so much... He has guided me through everything and he is moulding me right now! As he moulds me, he is unraveling his plan for me. We all have such amazing purposes! We are all of use to God, but we must be patient. Just because we can't see what he's doing, doesn't mean he isn't doing anything! I praise God for giving me such a phenomenal purpose in my life. He has given my life so much meaning!

Thanks for reading my blog!! Here's the song I listened to while writing this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdq9Q8wJdjc

-kjoosaurus out!

Wisdom of God [4/17/12]

Hello all!

Hope things are going well for everybody! I'm almost done exams! I only have one more left, and it's in a week. I also found out that I MIGHT have another week in Ottawa. It would be so incredible if I were able to spend more time with all of these amazing people. Even though it's only four months, it's going to be hard without you guys, because I love you all like crazy. The people I've met in Ottawa have become a part of my family :)

One of the biggest challenges I've had in my walk with God has been my communication with him. It's so hard for me to believe in something I can't even see or hear. I want to know what his plan is; I want to know everything that is going on, but God doesn't work this way. He's not just going to tell you his plan in the beginning. It's not like he gives us a detailed list of everything that will happen to us in our lives when we are born. So, we must ask him when we are confused and do not understand. He always answers our prayers! It may not be an instant response, and it might not be the response we wish to hear, but he will always answer our prayers.

James 1:5-6 says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

There are many times when I have asked God to provide me with the wisdom I need; at times when I struggled, I have asked God to guide me. I ask God what his plan for me is because there are so many times when I don't understand his plan for me... He seems to be working in ways in my life that don't seem to be having any effect, or are having a negative effect, but everything has a purpose. I often catch myself lacking faith; I have little doubts here and there.

Before I came to Ottawa, I had my own plan on how my life would unfold itself. I wanted to get into school in Toronto, and spend all of my time with my extended family. I wanted to attend Ryerson, and live in Toronto. But, God threw away all of my plans, and unraveled a new one. I never ended up getting into Ryerson. I hadn't even tried to get into Carleton because my average grade wasn't high enough, but I still got accepted with a scholarship. I was torn. I hadn't gotten into my first choice, and I didn't really want to go to Carleton because I wasn't sure about what I would do in Ottawa. I didn't know anybody, and I had never visited the city. At this point of my life, I wasn't praying at all. I wasn't reading the bible at all. I didn't think about God at all. But I needed to know why he was pushing me towards Carleton, so I asked him. He then revealed to me why he allowed me to be rejected from Ryerson; if I had gone to Ryerson, I would not have grown in the way I have now. I wouldn't have created beautiful relationships with the people I know now. I might not have been writing this blog!

So, even though what you really want does not always happen, if you trust in God, he will bless you with more than you expected. If you don't understand his plan, then ask him. He will tell you! He will reveal his plan to you! My relationship with Christ continues to grow everyday; I still find myself having doubts, but one day, those doubts will be gone. I continue to ask him when I don't understand, and he reveals things to me. Our God is an awesome God. He is capable of anything. He can move mountains, and with him, we can do anything as well! Let's cast away ALL doubts we may have!

Thank you very very much for reading my blog! Here is the song I listened to while writing this blog: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwsvqVmFV6Y


- kjoosaurus out!

He is my Strength [4/16/12]

Hihi!

I have an exam tomorrow morning, so I'm going to make this short! (Just watch, I'll probably write for an hour.) It was funny. Today, I was starting to write the blog about a completely different topic, and I just kept getting this feeling that it wasn't right. I think God wanted me to save that topic for later, and share this topic with you now. The topic for today is how God is my strength!

Something to know about me is that I depend very much on other people; I value my relationships so much. I know I could deal with it if God took all of my relationships away from me, but it would be extremely hard for me. They are what I value most in this world. It's interesting, because God seems to be starting to do this to me now.

You see, I have made a few very close friends in Ottawa, and the most amazing thing is that these relationships have been based on Christ. They all mean so much to me, and I could never appreciate them or love them enough. This year, God provided me with the most beautiful blessings I have ever received. Every single day, I thank him for the precious relationships I've made. I thank him for giving me people who will encourage me, care about me, spend time with me and love me. But, I also know that I rely on them a lot. And, if it so happens, God may choose to take them away.

I recently found out that there is a chance that I may lose them for a while. There is a likely chance that I may not be able to see their faces everyday. The second I discovered this, I was blanketed in sadness. My heart fell, and I honestly felt a bit angry. It felt unfair that I would have to let go of these amazing people even though I hadn't been with them for very long. I didn't understand why he would put me through the unbearable pain. I just could not comprehend why he would take away such important people. But, as I thought about it more and more, I came to realize that I had to trust in him. He has a reason to everything, and I just need to trust that he is still guiding me.

Isaiah 41:10 says, "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

This verse spoke directly to me. I am very afraid of being apart from people who are so valuable to me, but God is still with me. I am afraid of what will change if I am apart from them, but God has a reason for this and he is molding us! Although I am afraid, I have no reason to be. God is my strength. He is my rock, and he never fails! All I ever need is him, and even though he may take everything away, I will always have him.

That's the beauty of it all. The Lord is my strength. The Lord will never leave me. The Lord is always with me. I think I fall more and more in love with him everyday; I continue to learn so much about him, and it baffles me to realize I could love him even more than I already do. But, it keeps happening! I learn more, and I love more. Isn't it wonderful? To worship him through struggles and challenges, to worship him through blessings and miracles. To worship him everyday from the minute I wake up, to the minute I go to bed. To worship him always!

Thanks for reading my blog today :) I actually didn't listen to a song while writing this post... But there will probably be a song tomorrow! Good luck on all of your exams!


-kjoosaurus out!

Accepted and Loved [4/15/12]

Oh hey there!

I'm blogging at a very odd time for me... I usually blog after midnight, but for once, I'm blogging in the afternoon :) The reason why I'm doing it now is because I just listened to a clip that reminded me of something so crucial and wonderful. Today, I was reminded of how much God really loves me. I wasn't able to attend church today because my stomach started acting up a lot, but I started listening to little clips. While doing so, I stumbled upon this one: http://illbehonest.com/Come-to-Christ-He-is-Mighty-to-Save-Paul-Washer and as soon as I listened to it, I knew I had to write about it. It's only four minutes, so feel free to listen to it before I start talking about it!

The clip speaks about a daughter who leaves her mom to make a better life. The mother knows the daughter will stray, and live a life she doesn't want. So, once her daughter leaves her, she takes all of her money and goes to the city where her daughter is. She goes to a photo booth and uses most of her money to take photos of herself. She then proceeds to go to all hotels, movie theaters, and dance halls in search of her daughter. Everywhere she goes, she leaves a picture of herself. Once she runs out of money, she leaves the city and goes back home.

One day, the daughter, who became a prostitute, is walking down the stairs in a hotel. She looks into a mirror, and notices how she looks so aged. She then notices something in the corner of her eye. She sees a  picture of her mother, and she is filled with joy! She turns the picture over, and reads this "I do not care what you have done. I do not care what you have become. Please come home."

When I heard this, I began to tear up. The power of his love is so wonderful. He doesn't care what we have done. He doesn't care who we have become. He just wants us to go to him! We are all sinners. None of us are perfect. We have all done things that fill us with regret; we have been foolish and selfish. But, he still loves and wants us! His love is something that we can't understand. I can't describe his love. I can't even imagine the extent of his love.

Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Isn't this so amazing? I just looked in the thesaurus for synonyms that might help me describe God. We could say God is wonderful, amazing, admirable, astonishing, awesome, brilliant, divine, fabulous, fantastic, magnificent, incredible, marvelous, miraculous, outstanding, phenomenal, remarkable, sensational, stupendous, superb, terrific, tremendous and wondrous. I'm looking at all of these words, and they still aren't enough to describe him. How is it possible that I, being a sinner, am worthy of his love? How could he DIE for me? He loves me. He loves you. He loves us.

Doesn't this make you feel so happy? Because of this, we should praise him all the time. At times, it might seem like God isn't there, or he isn't answering your prayers, but look at what he has done for us! He has loved us in a way we cannot even comprehend. He died on the cross for us, and all of our sins were forgiven! How could we ever stop praising him?

So, let's praise him! Praise him! Praise him!

I'm so grateful that you read my post today. It means so much to me to be able to share about his glory to you all! Here's the song I listened to while writing this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxFyX29pZnI


- kjoosaurus out! 

Praise Him Always [4/14/12]

Hi guys!

I had a really hard time thinking of what to write today. I'm not sure why, because I learned so much throughout the whole day, but it was probably because there were so many different lessons I learned today. The conversations I had today were filled with lessons and blessings from Christ; they were all extremely meaningful and valuable. I wish I could write about everything I learned today, but with time, I'm sure those will come up in my blog as well.

What I wanted to focus on today was praising God and always looking towards him.

Psalm 34:1 says, "I will praise the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips."

The reason why I wanted to lift this verse up is because I have come to realize that it can be extremely difficult to praise God at all times. At bible study, a friend of mine spoke about how some Christians are focused on the feelings and emotions. I didn't really understand what he was talking about when he said this, but I think I understand now.

There are Christians who seem to praise God according to their feelings; they will have times when they FEEL like praising God. They will praise God when they are happy and they may stay away from God when they feel sad or rejected. I relate very well with this statement because I am a very emotional person. My actions are largely based on my emotions, and I have struggled a lot in the past with my relationship with God because of my roller coaster ride of emotions. It has been a struggle to continuously love God and praise him all day, everyday.

God has a plan for all of us, but we have no idea what he has in store for us. Because of the mystery behind God's actions, we often praise him when our prayers are answered or when he blesses us. But what about times when he challenges us or "lets" bad things happen to us?

The other day, my younger brother went to the hospital. I was worried. It was extremely out of character for him because he so rarely gets sick. It wasn't that I felt angry with God for letting him get sick... I think I just showed a great lack of faith in him. I didn't trust God at that moment, and I let my human emotions take over and I was filled with so much worry. It wasn't that I felt negatively towards him, but I didn't look towards him, or trust him, in my time of need.

I believe our emotions and challenges should never change the way we look at God. When bad things happen to me, I should always be looking towards God. When good things happen to me, I should always be thanking God and looking towards him. There should never be a time when I'm looking away from him, because no matter what is happening and no matter what I am doing, I should always have him in my mind; he should always be what I am looking towards.

It doesn't matter where I am, who I'm with, or what is going on. I'm going to thrive to praise his name always! I want him to be my everything. I want him to take control of my life and let me live in his name only. Let's praise him always!

Thanks for reading my messy post today :) Here's the song I listened to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOY-eHUsHdM

- kjoosaurus out!

Grateful to Serve [4/13/12]

Hallo everybody!

I am extremely excited for my blog today because something very out of the ordinary happened to me. I was able to experience something that had never happened to me before, but I'm warning you all now, it's probably more exciting to me than it will be to you. I'm hyping it up a lot right now because I'm so excited to share with you all, but it will be like the way I hyped up the Hunger Games and then had people disappointed from the high expectations I gave them, so don't be expecting too much!

Before I share my story with you, I wanted to share a verse. John 13:12-14 says, "After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, "Do you understand what I was doing? You call me "teacher" and "Lord," and you are right, because that's what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other's feet."

This verse was brought to my attention a couple of weeks ago, and it got me thinking about serving others, and how I have been doing with serving others. I realized that I do not serve others as much as I could, so I have been putting more and more of an effort into serving others. It can be difficult to constantly serve others - especially if they are not doing the same for us. I often find myself struggling with serving others because I get lazy, I begin to feel like it's unfair if they are not serving me, or I just stop caring. Once I read this verse, my attitude changed. I find myself wanting to serve others as much as I can because the Lord set an example for us! He stooped down to the lowest level, and He served. It would be silly for me to say I want to be more like Him yet maintain my selfish attitude.

The reason why I decided to write about serving others is because I was given an incredible opportunity to serve a complete stranger today, and I feel so good about it!

Last night, I wasn't able to fall asleep until 4, and then I woke up with not enough sleep for me to be completely functional. This caused me to be slightly grumpy and extremely tired throughout the day, and while I was out, all I wanted to do was go back to my room so I could sleep. Around 6:30, I was finally making my way home, and right as I was about to reach my building, I noticed a middle-aged woman splayed across a fence. I noticed her from a distance, and I saw a few people walk past her without doing anything other than give her a look.

To be completely honest, I was about to walk right past her too. I feel guilty that the thought even entered my head, but it did, and I couldn't do anything about it. Luckily, I was able to push the thought away, and as I approached her, I could tell she was not in the right state of mind. So I asked her if she was okay. She looked up at me from the ground and said, "Of course I'm okay!" Then she proceeded to look around and asked me, "Why am I on the ground?"

When she asked me this question, I realized something must have happened. At first, I thought she was drunk, but I quickly realized that she wasn't drunk, but in pain. I wasn't sure what to do. I asked her what happened, and as she recounted what she could remember, I realized that she had fainted! She hadn't tripped over anything, but she had actually passed out in the middle of the sidewalk! To be completely honest, I started freaking out on the inside at this point. I didn't know what to do, and thankfully, another girl walked by. She saw what was happening and started freaking out as well. Once we calmed down, we concluded to call campus security.

While we waited for campus security, she kept repeatedly thanking us for helping her. As she was thanking us, I was wondering to myself "why is she thanking me? I'm not even doing anything." It was only afterwards that I realized what I must have done for her. In pain, she had fallen to the ground. She was alone, and several other people had walked by without offering any help. I had pushed aside my feelings of exhaustion, and I had stayed with her until she was able to get medical help. Although it didn't feel like much, I realized that I had been able to serve her! I was given an amazing opportunity to serve a complete stranger who was in need, and it brightened my day to know I had been able to serve her.

I'm not sure why, but I saw this opportunity to serve a stranger so incredible! I want to serve more and more people. It has motivated me to serve people in whatever way I can. I'm grateful that God put me in the right place in the right time. He gave me the chance to serve a stranger, and I hope He gives me the opportunity to help many more people in the future! It's great that we are able to serve others. I hope you all seek ways to serve each other :)

Thanks for reading my extremely long blog today! Here's the song I listened to while writing this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4x6Ha4yQRg

- kjoosaurus out!

Forgiveness [4/12/12]

Ni hao!

To those of you reading this right now, I just wanted to say thank you. It fills me with so much joy to know there are people reading my blog! It's really encouraging, and it motivates me to write more and more! I know I blog a lot about loving others and forgiving others. I'm not sure why, but it seems to be a very important topic in my life right now! I always find myself learning how to love others more and learning how to forgive others. Today, I just wanted to share a parable and a personal story.

The parable I want to talk about today is Matthew 18:23-35. This parable is about an unforgiving debtor. There was a king who came to realize that one of his debtors owed him an enormous amount of money. He ordered the man, his wife, and his children be sold in order to pay for the debt. The man begged for forgiveness and the king decided to forgive him. The man then ran home to find money to pay off his debts; he found that one of his own servants owed him money, and he forced this servant to pay him back. The servant was not able to pay the man back right away, and although the servant pleaded, the man put him into prison until he could pay it back. When the king heard about this, he was furious. He told the man, "You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?" The king then proceeds to send the man to prison until he is able to pay the debt back.

Jesus then says, "That's what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart."

So, I know that was a big clump of writing to read, but I still believe it's important to understand. I personally have been having an extremely hard time forgiving a friend of mine. Things have been tense between the two of us, and I've been having so many negative feelings towards her. For weeks, I've felt nothing but bitterness towards her, and I am so ashamed of this. I read this parable, and I realized I absolutely had to forgive her. It's hard to forgive her because I've been hurt, but the Lord has forgiven me even though I have sinned over and over and over again. If he can forgive me for all the sins I have done, why can't I forgive her?

I want to show her the grace He has shown me, so I'm going to do my very best to forgive her and treat her with love! If you have any bitterness in your heart towards anybody, I pray that you will be able to learn to forgive this person, no matter how challenging it is.

Thank you so much for reading my blog today! Here's the wonderful song I listened to while writing this blog: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8I3VO19i2w

- kjoosaurus out!

Lifted Burdens [4/11/12]

Aloha everybody!

Today was an odd day. It was an off day for me, and it was odd because I'm not sure why it was an off day. For some reason,  a wave of sadness hit me. I felt hopeless, useless, and sad. The only thing I wanted to do is crawl into my bed, and sleep until a new day shone. It isn't common for me to feel like this; I'm normally happy, but this odd feeling of sadness isn't a stranger to me either.

It's almost impossible to be happy every single day, every single hour, every single second.

I'm not even sure why I'm feeling this way. For hours now, I've been wracking my brain in search of a reason to these destructive emotions. Did somebody say something rude to me today? Did I fail to accomplish something? Is there something tugging at my conscience? Is there something stressing me out? I've been thinking, and thinking, and thinking about it, but I can't find anything.  There was nothing out of the ordinary today. Things were as they usually are, but my general composure is different. A smile is hard to create, a laugh is rare to hear. My heart feels heavy, my mind feels dull.

This feeling overpowered me for hours. I'm not sure if you guys feel the same way at times, but it isn't fun at all. It feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.

It was when I was feeling this heavy weight that I read Psalm 55:22. It says, "Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall."

Boy, when I read this verse, that weight on my shoulders was lifted. It reminded me that God is always watching over me, and he's not going to let me fall. He loves me so much, and He is always taking care of me. I'm still not my normal self, but I feel comforted. It's great to know how wonderful our God is. He is always there for us; He is always loving us.

I don't need to handle all of my troubles myself. If I give my problems to God, and ask Him to guide me, He will do this. I'm not alone. I don't need to handle all my problems myself because He is always with me and watching over me! Praise the Lord! :)

Thanks for reading my post :) Here's the song I listened to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI9RIbaa87I

- kjoosaurus out!

Special Blessings [4/10/12]

Hello there everybody!

I'm sure a lot of you are stressed from exams right now... I know I am. It's weird. I'm stressed about exams, but I still can't bring myself to study anything! For some reason, I no longer have a strong desire to get extremely good marks. Anyways, today's blog won't be very long because I'm pretty exhausted, but I wanted to talk about some blessings God has given me.

I personally value relationships a lot. I'm an extremely social person, and I'm the happiest when I'm surrounded by a lot of people.  I love going out with my friends, meeting new people and spending quality time with the people I love. But this year, God blessed me with even more amazing people. Every relationship I have had in the past was so extremely special to me. I learned so much from all of the different people I've met, and many people have helped me grow. But this year, God blessed me with a new kind of relationship. He blessed me with relationships that were deeply rooted in Christ, and for this I am so grateful.

Before God blessed me this year, I never knew what it was like to have a relationship with somebody that was based on Christ. There was nobody who I could talk to about Christ everyday. I always felt like people didn't care, or just didn't have anything to say when I brought up Jesus. Therefore, I didn't talk about Him much, and because I didn't talk about Him, I didn't think about Him. I believe this had an impact on my relationship with God. I was struggling so much with reading the bible and praying; I always forgot and it wasn't a priority for me.

Hebrews 10:24-25 says, "Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near."

This verse perfectly describes many of the relationships I've created. Through almost every struggle I went through, I had somebody who encouraged me through it. Every time I was about to fall, I had somebody pick me up and motivate me. By loving me, I was encouraged to love others. God used my friendships to help me grow; He used my friends to encourage and love me. I can't get over how blessed I feel to be able to experience it. This verse also encourages me to be this person to others. I want to be somebody who is always encouraging others. I want to be somebody who is always loving others. I want to be somebody who is always motivating others.

Thanks for reading this post. :) I really wanted to take time to thank God for blessing me. I could never display all the gratitude I feel for how He has blessed me! The song I listened to today was actually what inspired me to write this. It made me realize that God has provided special relationships for us to remind us that we are not alone; He puts people in our life that we need to love, cherish and encourage.

Jars of Clay - Shelter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bcgj-Jbl2RY

P.S. I'm sorry I wrote so much. I didn't think I would because I was so tired, but I ended up writing for an hour. Hehehe.

P.P.S. I changed the commenting settings, so it should be easier to post now! I think I changed it to anybody can post or something. I don't know. Give it a try if you would like! :)

- kjoosaurus out!

Hard to Love, Easy to Hate [4/9/12]

Hello friends! 

I hope you all enjoyed your Monday. A fresh start to the week, and a day off for some of you! I spent the whole day studying... That's what I get for slacking off, I guess. It's alright though, I actually enjoyed it a bit. I feel privileged to be able to study. I'm so lucky to be getting an education! I also went for a run today... I should also be grateful to have such a healthy body! Praise God for the blessings he has given us. :)

So, today, I wanted to talk about a problem I've been having lately. It concerns troubles I've been having with a certain person; I grew to dislike them, and I had so many bitter feelings towards them. For a while, I only felt anger when I thought of this person. I wanted nothing to do with them, and I just wished they would stop talking to me. At times, I let this bitterness take over my thoughts. I had one mean thought after the other, and when we spoke, I was always rude. I never really considered my actions; I didn't realize how much pain I was probably causing this person with my cold, hostile words. I only thought about the pain they caused me, and my sole focus was on that. But today, things change. God used a friend to speak to me, and I had a very, very tough lesson to learn.

As I was speaking to my friend about what I should do, and what actions I should take, they gave me a bible verse to read. It was Ephesians 4:29-5:2.

It says, "Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be a encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another just as God through Christ as forgiven you. Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

When I read this passage, I felt sad, guilty, and shocked. I had been treating this old friend like a piece of dirt. I had been doing the opposite of what Christ did for us; I had kept all of my bitter feelings, my anger and my harsh words. I had no thoughts of forgiveness in my heart, and I allowed this anger to grow inside of me. As soon as I read this passage, I knew I had to change my ways. I had to learn to forgive all the wrongs that had been done to me. I had to learn how to love this person again. It's really hard for me to do this; it's natural for us to remember all of the wrongs done to us, but it doesn't help us in any way.

God wants us to love. It seems so easy to hate those who have hurt you, but it does not please God. I pray that God will help me forgive; I pray that my heart will only be filled with love, that there would be no room for hatred. I want to learn how to love the way God loves us. It's such an incredible, powerful love. God blessed us with the ability to love; let's not take this gift for granted! Let us all learn to love everybody, whether it's our friends or enemies.

Thanks for reading my blog :) Here's the beautiful song I listened to today while writing this blog: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c24En0r-lXg&ob=av2e

- kjoosaurus out!

The Parable of the Sower [4/8/12]

Greetings!

As I'm sure many of you already know, today was a very special today. Today is known as Easter, or resurrection day. I hadn't realized this, but I've become so caught up in the worldly meaning of Easter; a holiday filled with chocolates, eggs, pastel colours, and a bunny. I never took any time to think of the true meaning of this special weekend. I never truly considered WHY we counted this day as a holiday, but this year, I've begun to understand and appreciate this day. At times, I feel like I know so much about Christianity, but the more I study the bible and converse with my sisters and brothers, I realize how little I know. There's always so much more to learn! 

Today, I was reading Matthew, and I stumbled upon a series of parables in Matthew. They went from chapter 12 and 13, and they generally said the same thing. The first parable was of a farmer who went out to sow his seed. The parable described how the seeds were scattered in different areas such as rocky places, among thorns, and on good soil. The seeds in rocky places sprang up quickly, but due to the shallow soil, the plants scorched and withered because they had no roots. The seeds among thorns grew, and then choked from the thorns. Finally, the seeds in good soil grew, and then produced a crop that was a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

This parable represents people who hear of the kingdom of God. There are those who will be interested at first, but because they have no roots, they will not last a very long time. Then there are those among thorns. They may hear about the kingdom of God, but there may be too many distractions and obstacles in their way to understand it. They may be so caught up in the world, they may not be able to attentively listen to the word. But finally, the ones in good soil will understand and believe in the word. The ones in good soil will tell others of the kingdom of God; they will produce a crop of a hundred, sixty or thirty times was was sown.

This is an encouraging parable. We may speak about the kingdom of God to many, many people. We may speak of it all the time, but that does not mean we will be able to make everybody understand and believe it. We will always be faced with those who reject it, ignore it, or just don't listen to it. This has personally happened to me so many times... I feel really discouraged afterwards, and I don't feel like I have any more courage to bring it up with anybody. But, there will always be those people who are in good soil. They are the reason why we must keep trying. In this parable, Jesus is telling us that yes, we will go through rejections and struggles, but there will always be good soil, so don't be discouraged.

Let us thank Jesus for allowing us to be able to understand the kingdom of God. We are so blessed, and I hope you all appreciate what incredible things he has done for us!

Thanks for reading my post! Here's the song I listened to while writing this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOY0mjjmx8Y

- kjoosaurus out!

Loving Your Neighbor [4/7/12]

Greetings!

Guess what guys! I'm finally 19! To be honest, I don't feel different at all. I've been waiting for this day for... 19 years... But I still feel like the same old Kristen! Even though I don't feel a difference now that I'm 19, I still had a phenomenal birthday. From the moment I woke up, to the moment I go to bed, I'm surrounded by people I love. I can't emphasize enough how appreciated and loved I feel. I can't ever thank God enough for blessing me with so many extraordinary people. Every person I interacted with today made my day special in their own way. I want to thank everybody I saw today! I really love every single one of you... I want you to know this! It might be kind of awkward if I go up to you guys and just say "I love you." But, I'm actually considering doing this now just because I want you all to know how much you mean to me!

Anyways, today, I'm going to talk about a parable in the book of Luke. Many of you probably know this parable, but I'm going to discuss it today and what it personally means to me. The parable is in Luke 10, and it talks about the Good Samaritan. So, to quickly summarize, there is a Jewish man who is beaten up by bandits, stripped, and left on the side of the road. A priest passes by, and leaves him there. Then, a Temple assistant passes by, and leaves him there. Finally, a Samaritan comes along and soothes the Jewish man's wounds with olive oil and wine and bandages them. He then puts the man on his own donkey and takes him to an inn. He then tells the innkeeper he will pay for the man.

Jesus told this parable to a man who asked Jesus, "Who is my neighbor?"

I looked up this parable on the internet, and I found some interesting information. (To me anyways.) A theory on why the priest passed by without aiding the Jewish man was because of the risk they would make if they helped him. The consequences they faced were being defiled. If the priest was defiled, he would not be able to collect or distribute, and his family and servants would suffer the same consequences as him.

The temple assistant was suspected to have left the man alone because if he did help him, and he was dead, then he might be accused of being guilty of this deed if somebody saw them with the body. If this occurred, then the temple assistant would be at risk. But isn't it interesting that the Samaritan, who was at the same risk as the priest and temple assistant, still took this risk, and loved his neighbor?

Imagine if we could all be the same as the Samaritan. I know that it's personally hard for me to love my neighbors. People who I don't get along with very well are hard to take care of; it's hard for me to love them unconditionally, or even love them at all. I struggle, because I know I'm supposed to love my neighbor as I love myself, but I so often find myself treating my neighbor in ways I would never want myself to be treated. When there are people I conflict with, I find myself throwing harsh words at them. I find myself feeling bitterness towards them. But even if they do these things to me, that doesn't mean I am allowed to act this way towards them.

I'm trying my very best to love my friends, and to love my enemies. I pray for those who hurt me. I pray that they will find God, and that they will be able to experience His glory! I encourage you to pray for your enemies so that they may find God; pray that they may experience His love.

Thanks for reading my blog on this beautiful day :) Here's the song I listened to while writing this blog today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCYqC1cxXD8

Also, thank you to my beautiful soulmate/bestfriend/sister in christ, Priscilla, for an amazing birthday present! I no longer have to lug around my brick bible. I'm going to make sure to bring this cute little bible everywhere I go :)

-kjoosaurus out!

Standing Strong [4/6/12]

Greetings!!

Okay, before I begin, I have a question for you all... How are you doing? I'm sincerely asking you all this question, and if you want to message me a response, or comment below, or whatever you want, please feel free to do this! I was just thinking about it today... I don't ask enough people this basic, but important question. It feels like the generic response to this question is, "I'm fine" or "I'm good" because of how often we half-heartedly get asked this question. I'm going to try to ask more people this question, and really listen to the answer. How can I claim to care about people when there are times where I don't even bother to listen to their troubles, concerns, and blessings?

Anyways, that was something on my mind today, but I also wanted to talk about a verse I stumbled upon today. This verse means a lot to me; it guides me through a specific struggle I have. Matthew 10:22 says, "All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved." The reason why this verse is so important to me, is because of how much I struggle with standing firm in my faith. Everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by people who do not believe. Many of my friends are non-believers, and even though I love them dearly, it can be hard for me at times. I want to speak about God's incredible love to them, but I'm so scared of being rejected. I'm scared they will hate me; I'm scared they will push me out of their lives. But, like this verse says, to be saved, we must stand firm until the end. We can't back down and tell nobody about God. We have to tell the world of his love. We need to travel to foreign nations and spread the word of his amazing grace! If I never take the risk and talk about it with people, how foolish could I be? It seems selfish of me to be keeping the wonders of his love to myself.

He loves us in such an amazing way. I don't think we can even understand how incredible his love is! The love he has for us is so deep. It's nothing like the materialistic love we have for our gadgets and worldly possessions. His love for us is even deeper than the love we have for our family and friends. His love for us is something I can't even describe in words; no matter how hard I try. I'm sitting at my desk right now... Just trying to think of a way to describe his amazing love. But no words are coming to my mind. His love is so amazing, that our worldly words cannot even describe it. Isn't that incredible? Aren't we so fortunate to have such a loving God? Even through times of trouble, I feel at peace because I know He loves me.

That's what has been on my mind on this lovely Friday. I hope you are all doing well, and please don't forget to message me! Don't forget how much God loves you. :)

Here's the song I listened to while writing this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCunuL58odQ&ob=av3n

- kjoosaurus out!

Unlimited Faith

Greetings!

Today, was a day filled with many blessings! I actually studied today... Which was surprisingly refreshing. Even though it was history that I was studying, I enjoyed it quite a bit. It feels like God has given me a new attitude towards school, and it makes me extremely joyful! I was also able to spend some time in fellowship with some members of the church, and this is a blessing I am so grateful for. The time I am able to spend with my sisters and brothers in Christ are so precious to me... To be able to discuss God, and grow together is an extraordinary gift.

For many years in my walk with God, I struggled a lot with my faith... I had so many doubts. I wondered to myself, is He really there? Is God watching over me? If he is, why isn't he showing himself to me? Where is He? How powerful is He really? It might be because I'm very human in this way. I needed to see things myself before I could believe it. At times, I would find thoughts creeping into my head as I was praying. I would think things like "What if there is no God, and I'm believing in nothing?" Being humans, it's hard to have faith in something we can't see or hear, but that's part of our walk with God. We must have faith in Him.

In Matthew, there is a story of a centurion who came to Jesus asking him for help. He asks Jesus to heal his servant who is sick, and Jesus says he will go to the house and heal the servant. To this, the centurion replies, "Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed." -Matthew 8:8. It's pretty incredible to see how much faith this man has in Jesus. He openly acknowledges how powerful he is! Do we have this kind of faith in our God? Would we be able to utter those words without having any doubts? The centurion did not doubt for a second that Jesus could heal the servant without even being present. He admitted that Jesus would be able to heal him with just a word. He showed faith in Jesus that so many others lacked.

I hope to be able to have this kind of unconditional faith in Jesus. I want to trust in Him without having any doubts. There are times when He seems so far away from us... I've had so many moments in my life when I felt that God had abandoned me, I felt he had left me alone and that I would have to survive on my own. But what I didn't realize was that He was always there. God never leaves us alone. It doesn't matter if we can't feel him, see him, or hear him. He will NEVER abandon us. We just need to continue to have faith in Him. We can't lose faith just because we feel like he is far away. He is always near us, and he is always there for us! We are so blessed. :)

Thanks for reading my blog! I should probably start writing them earlier, and not at 3 in the morning... Here's the song I listened to while writing the blog! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJCyA6_uKFs This song is actually very special to me. I first heard it 4-5 years ago. It really moved me, and I only recently rediscovered it! So, I decided I would share this special song with you all today!

- kjoosaurus out!

Reconciliations [4/4/12]

Greetings!

Unfortunately, today was not the best day for me... Today, I became angry with my brothers, and of this, I am greatly displeased. I honestly feel really bad for being upset, but it is an anger that is still present; even hours after what happened. Why am I angry? I'm not sure. I think it might be because my feelings were played with, and to me, it was very unacceptable.

Sigh, the anger I felt today disgusted me. If there's anything I hate, it's when I become angry.  Feelings of hurt and anger crawl through my skin; my body begins to tremble, and I lose focus of what I'm doing. My face remains neutral, but my heart pounds uncontrollably. My thoughts are jumbled in my mind, and for a minute, I lose control of myself. It's like something overtook my body; something I couldn't control. This is why I hate being angry. It just isn't me.

Matthew 6:14 says, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." We are meant to forgive those who do wrong to us, no matter how hard it is. I know I have already forgiven my brothers for what they have done to me, but I also know it's because I love them. It can be hard to forgive those who have always wronged you, but we must forgive them as well. We can't only forgive those we love; we must love our friends, and our enemies. This anger I felt today hasn't completely disappeared... But, I'm working on it. I wish I could never feel angry. Tonight, I will pray for God to forgive me for being angry, and I hope my brothers can forgive my anger as well.

On the bright side, those who angered me today gave me a good topic to write about for my blog, so thank you for that! :)

This was what was on my mind today, thanks for reading!

The song I listened to while writing this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwsvqVmFV6Y

- kjoosaurus out!