I'm truly sorry I haven't written in such a long time... I could give you a huge list of excuses, but I think I'll save you all from having to listen to it. Instead, I will do my very best to fill you all in on what has been happening in my life, and how God has been working!
In all honesty, a lot has happened, and I've had many ups and downs. I started going to a couple of bible studies, and I was really pumped at the beginning of the summer! I was going to do SO much. I was ready to take on the world! But, as usual, my plans did not go as I had assumed they would. My fire went down, and it turned into nothing but a little flame. I began to feel discouraged, and many distractions and temptations began to come my way.
One of the biggest things that has happened so far is that in the middle of my summer, I began to have an identity crisis! Well, more like I realized I've been having an identity crisis. I'm not sure if anybody else has done this, but I would always try to be like somebody else. I wanted to be wise like my Mom, I wanted to be a good listener like my best friend, I wanted to be spiritually strong like my grandmother, I wanted to be hard-working like my Dad, I wanted to be as loveable as my friend. I wanted to be talented as that photographer, or as tall as that model. And you know what? I tried to be all of these things. I wanted to be an all-around perfect person. But, this perfection was for selfish reasons. For worldly reasons. I've been like this for years and years. I've always tried to be somebody else, and I've never been satisfied with what I have. But this summer, God has gently been encouraging me to stop this jealousy and obsession.
Psalm 139:13-14
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother's womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous - how well we know it.
In all the years of trying to become somebody else, I had forgotten who created me. I had forgotten that my creator had a perfect plan for me. I had forgotten that the person I am is who my creator wants me to be. He doesn't want me to be my Mom, he doesn't want me to be my friend, he doesn't want me to be a carbon copy of anybody else in this world! Our God, my creator, wants me to be who he created me to be. The gifts I have are from him. The body I have is created by him. I shouldn't be searching for the gifts of others, but trying to discover the gifts he has given to me!
I'm not sure if anybody else has gone through the same thing... But isn't it crazy how we might forget who our creator is? He created the world. He created the trees. He created the oceans. He created all of the creatures on this earth! Everything has a purpose; everything is made perfectly. If he created all of these things with such precision, he most definitely created us perfectly. God makes no mistakes! He loves us for who we are, because he created us the way we are.
Lord,
Thank you for making us who we are today. Thank you for letting us be your children! May we only seek to be more like you, and nobody else.
In your name,
Amen.
- kjoosaurus out!
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