Why hello there! It's S again! Hehe..
So.. I'm going to write about my day yesterday. I really don't know how to do these bloggity things but I'm gonna try to make it..seem bloggy.. lool.
Yesterday was possibly the first time I've ever gone out to share the gospel and, well, do missions work. And it was in a place where I had no plans on doing missions work either: in Ottawa! I kind of had this view that missions should happen in faraway places like Haiti or China, but after I watched that documentary (Finger of God - if you haven't seen it already, you should go and watch it because it's truly an eye opener!!), I realized that missions could totally happen in the streets of downtown Ottawa!
So here's the scoop. A friend and I were just talking about this documentary in a restaurant (mostly because I couldn't stop talking about it lol) and soon after, we got the same idea: to go out and pray for people and try to preach the gospel on the streets. At first, we were a little reluctant because it was very new to both of us. We were kind of scared too. Not too sure why though.. But a little while later, God really moved us in peace and courage to go out and do His work. So we prayed for His Spirit to guide us, and then we went our way. We had no idea where to go, who to meet. We had no agenda except to pray for others. So we kept asking God for signs on whether to turn left or right, go straight. We also prayed for many people we saw walking by. It was so difficult to hear God's direction because..I think it was because our hearts (my heart at least) was not really in the right place. I wanted to have God's heart to truly do this in His name and out of love and compassion for the people, but to be quite honest, I was a little scared and doubtful. It really seemed like my God was too small in my mind.. God can do such great things! I mean, he created the Universe.. The same Spirit through which Jesus did His mighty miracles lives inside me! I knew these things, but I still doubted..
Okay so back to the story (sorry it's a little jumpy because..I feel really jumpy right now as I'm writing this hehe), we took a random bus, and got off on a random stop, and after a while, we started to talk to people. It was very nerve-wracking at first. Especially in the business district where people are so focused on their busy lives, they didn't want to have anything to do with us. We would ask, "Hi, how are you doing?" and they would reply, "Good," without even looking at us. Yes, it was extreeeemely awkward.
But then we saw a lady walking her dog. And for some reason I was really drawn towards her. When we said "hi," she replied, "how are you?" and we began to have a very friendly conversation with her! When we told her what we were doing, she immediately asked us if we could pray for her, and so we did. And it was so amazing to see her being touched, as she gave us hugs in tears, and walked away with thankfulness. Another woman only spoke Chinese so it was very difficult even to tell her that we wanted to pray for her.. in the end, she just walked away. Afterwards, we saw another man limping across the street, and went to talk to him. We prayed for God for the healing of his leg and of his sufferings.. He happily walked away. And lastly, we talked to a homeless man sitting on a bridge. This time, we tried to share the gospel. He either didn't seem to understand or didn't want to hear about it. He didn't even want us to pray for him. I really wished God would do a miracle through us to show him a mighty God that loved him.. And i wondered why.. why didn't He?
I really hope all of our encounters were divine encounters, led by the Holy Spirit, and that we truly made a difference in their lives.
But there's something bugging me. I wanted God to show us where to go, what and who to look for.. I wanted Him to use us to heal the man with a bad leg.. I wanted Him to change the homeless man's heart to be open for Jesus.. Why didn't He? Why didn't He show His great powers and love for them? If He is so mighty to save, why didn't He do these things? Or did He? Did He heal the man's leg after we left? I can't say..I'm not confident. I wonder if it was because of my heart.. because I doubted.. and because I did not truly have the love and compassion for them.. Does God only do these things if we abide in Him 100%? If we truly have the heart that He has for people? Is this the requirement for doing His work? I feel very confused about this and I hope some of you have some Bible verses to help me. I know one thing's for sure however: that it is only through Christ Jesus we are able to do anything. We are a truly weak and faithless people, and it is only by God's power and love that we are able to believe in Him and be transformed by Him. So I guess, all I can pray about right now is for Him to change me, to have the same heart that He has, to love people the way He loves, to be able to fully trust in His power.. Perhaps then, when He answer my prayers, He will use me to the fullest and do great works..
And of course, I praise God that He used us to go out! He did touch some people's hearts! And I hope and pray that what we did prepared their hearts for the greater things, that is, the kingdom of heaven, to come in their lives!
Whatever happened yesterday, it was a huge learning experience for us, and we are led to believe He is drawing us nearer and nearer to Him. :)
-Jeremiah 29:13
S
1 John 2:3-11
New International Version (NIV)
Love and Hatred for Fellow Believers
3 We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. 4 Whoever says, “I know him,”but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. 5 But if anyone obeys his word, love for God[a] is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him:6 Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.7 Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard. 8 Yet I am writing you a new command;its truth is seen in him and in you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining.
9 Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister[b] is still in the darkness.10 Anyone who loves their brother and sister[c] lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. 11 But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
-Galatians 6:9
p.s. Sorry kjoosaurus! We missed a day of your daily blogs.. :(
yo S! I am so encouraged to read about your amazing encounters yesterday. What a cool story and its stirring so much joy and praise in my heart. Keep doing it! I want to join you one day :)
ReplyDeleteGod loves each person you met - so they have not been overlooked. In fact, his mercy has been revealed even more so because he is using you in their lives. I don't know why God didn't choose to use that moment to bring them to Himself, but He is completely sovereign in this universe - regardless of what we do or not do.
11 But before they were born, before they had done anything good or bad, she received a message from God. (This message shows that God chooses people according to his own purposes; 12 he calls people, but not according to their good or bad works.) She was told, “Your older son will serve your younger son.”[g] 13 In the words of the Scriptures, “I loved Jacob, but I rejected Esau.”[h]
14 Are we saying, then, that God was unfair? Of course not! 15 For God said to Moses,
“I will show mercy to anyone I choose,
and I will show compassion to anyone I choose.”[i]
16 So it is God who decides to show mercy. We can neither choose it nor work for it.
17 For the Scriptures say that God told Pharaoh, “I have appointed you for the very purpose of displaying my power in you and to spread my fame throughout the earth.”[j] 18 So you see, God chooses to show mercy to some, and he chooses to harden the hearts of others so they refuse to listen.
19 Well then, you might say, “Why does God blame people for not responding? Haven’t they simply done what he makes them do?”
20 No, don’t say that. Who are you, a mere human being, to argue with God? Should the thing that was created say to the one who created it, “Why have you made me like this?” 21 When a potter makes jars out of clay, doesn’t he have a right to use the same lump of clay to make one jar for decoration and another to throw garbage into? 22 In the same way, even though God has the right to show his anger and his power, he is very patient with those on whom his anger falls, who are destined for destruction. 23 He does this to make the riches of his glory shine even brighter on those to whom he shows mercy, who were prepared in advance for glory. 24 And we are among those whom he selected, both from the Jews and from the Gentiles.
So we have to trust that His glory is being revealed regardless of how people respond in that moment. And that we aren't responsible for their responses...we are responsible to God :)
you know that what you were doing was completely shaking spiritual grounds! in your eyes you may have been walking around the streets of ottawa, confused and unsure, but in the spiritual realm, something great was happening as god's light was breaking through the darkness that day! don't underestimate the power of God! to us, all our works may seem weak and feeble, but it's God who works wonders through them and for his kingdom! Keep doing this S!
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